Me and my husband was spending some quality time together today until he jokingly told me how my mother was trying to not get him to date me at first. He told me that she called me an alcoholic and that my hair was falling out and that I was mentally unstable and needed help. He told me that nothing would have stopped him from being with me and he thought it was funny. I did not think it was funny and I was extremely hurt that my mom would lie about me and say that I'm an alcoholic and that my hair was falling out In order to get him to not be with me. I'm 22 he's 40 so she doesn't like the age difference. Anyways I was really hurt that I texted her and told her how upset I was. I told her my husband didn't tell it to me to get me upset so not to blame him. She then proceeds to text him all kinds of rude things and accuses him of purposely trying to upset me. He then gets mad at me and is ignoring me for the rest of the night which is hurting me so much. I told him to please forgive me and that I'm so sorry and that I love him so much and that I would like to spend time with my husband before he has to leave for tampa. I go take a shower and come back and he's asleep. Now I can't sleep and all I want to do is cry because he won't even cuddle with me like he usually does. All I wanted was to make love to my husband tonight and cuddle and now I can't even sleep because I hurt him by telling my mom what he said. Am I a complete monster? Would you be upset at me if you were him in this situation?
Kdawg2018
Still here...
- Nov 10, 2018
- 272
This sounds like it will blow over, I'm sorry your husband is ignoring you. That wasn't nice for your mom to get involved in your relationship
She gets involved with everything. No one else but me. It's 6am and he's in the shower and hasn't said anything to me. We had to spend Christmas by ourselves because my family doesn't like him and my brother in law threatened to beat him up. He's not perfect but I love him so much and when he ignores me it really hurts me. Especially since he has to leave to today and I was already sad about him leaving. My mom thinks he told me about what he said to make me mad at her which isn't true at all. He kept telling to forget about it and that my mom did it because she wanted to protect me because she didn't know who he was but it still doesn't matter. She should have never lied about me saying my hair was falling out and that I'm an alcoholic. That hurt me so much. Im 7 months pregnant and my family didn't even bother to have a baby shower for me. We planned one for my sister who is her favorite and I helped out with everything but no one wants to do anything for me and it hurts considering this is my first child.
Kdawg2018
Still here...
- Nov 10, 2018
- 272
I'm sorry that you are feeling hurt. Probably you should consider looking into some family dysfunction dynamics. My family has done hurtful things to me too. When your partner ignores you that could be emotional abuse. For example, this x mas, my sister invited my mom & dad to her house, but did not invite me. I got a text from my mom saying "wish you were here." I hope things get better for you, hugs
hi, all. My family and specially my mother have done such things so many times, i can't even remember them all. One for sure - on my official engagement day, my mom said to my wife's mother /They met for the first or 2nd time/: "Is she crazy to marry my son? He can't take care for a family." I was 23. And that was the start of many painful and toxic conversations and intervention in our lives for a few years. Same goes with my sister. Just to mention - i was proposing after six years of relationship, so it was no surprise at all, got my education without any financial support from parents, at that point my mom owned me money, i paid for my wedding, i kept paying my sisters bills, got a job.
The only reason i allowed this so long, was because i cared for my parents, knew they don't really know me, and hoped that in time they will change their minds about me. There was also too much shit i had no idea about. But keeping the contacts with them went to nowhere. So i had to cut them off. And it was one of the best solutions i have found for problems like this one.
My point of view - when you are going to have a child, you have your own family now. Other "family" members have nothing to do with it, and it is not in their business to give any unwanted advises. Anyone braking my point gets out of the list of people, that i can't hurt. Simple and useful.
My personal opinion on your situation - get more distance from people like your mother. It does not matter if it's about your husband or not. The problem is not you or the people you want to be with. It's a problem for the toxic people around you. And if you don't get the necessary distance and do it in time - you are really going to destroy your relationships, all the times.
The only reason i allowed this so long, was because i cared for my parents, knew they don't really know me, and hoped that in time they will change their minds about me. There was also too much shit i had no idea about. But keeping the contacts with them went to nowhere. So i had to cut them off. And it was one of the best solutions i have found for problems like this one.
My point of view - when you are going to have a child, you have your own family now. Other "family" members have nothing to do with it, and it is not in their business to give any unwanted advises. Anyone braking my point gets out of the list of people, that i can't hurt. Simple and useful.
My personal opinion on your situation - get more distance from people like your mother. It does not matter if it's about your husband or not. The problem is not you or the people you want to be with. It's a problem for the toxic people around you. And if you don't get the necessary distance and do it in time - you are really going to destroy your relationships, all the times.
RememberWhatUCameFor
dont cry for me im already dead
- Nov 20, 2018
- 590
emotional abuse?! he didnt talk to her for one night...
i dont know the situation but my advice is to stay calm, take a deep breathe, analyse the situations, your emotions and the motivation/thoughts of the other person who is involved..
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