I feel you since I'm in a similar situation, I've set my CTB date to about one month and a half from now, but now that I have a bit of certainty that I will be able to free myself from life, I've been living more detached from reality and growing less and less sane as time goes on, which helps the lingering feeling of death grow - it even managed to take over my thoughts for the last two weeks -. It has become this self-propelling machine that makes my mind flow clearly in a straight line towards the achieving of just one goal, to finally end my existence and free myself from a guaranteed lifetime of suffering.
However, before then, I still want to spend time with the people I have left to make sure they're aware of my love for them, and also try to enjoy the bits of life I still find beauty and joy in.
Hope you manage to find the peace and rest you deserve, good luck OP! <3