Discussion She has bpd, and I have to take all of it.

[lovelulu]

my FP has bpd, as mentioned in previous posts. She always splits on me and its the most hurtful things shes said to me. She make my depression and suicidal tendencies ten times worse. I know she cant help it and I always have to refrain getting mad at her too. Shes always blabbing about how she has bpd and you know she cant control it. Of course I fucking know that—but It dosent make it feel any less worse. For example—yesterday I had a really bad day. I was acting off and she asked what was wrong. At first I said nothing and then she said she knew something eas wrong so I told her. All she fucking said was 'oh'. What the hell? So I left her on seen and replied later. I figured she didnt care so I said sorry. Then she said why did I even respond if I already saw it. maybe because Im attached to you and I cant handle being away but she wouldn't fucking care about that, lol. Then I asked why she even asked what was wrong if that was all she was going to say. And then, of course, now I'm in the wrong and im annoying. I dont know what to do. I feel so shitty.

 

[daruino]

Hugs. That sounds like it's really hurtful and I understand it's taking a toll on you. Am wondering why you are in this relationship when she makes you feel so much worse. It sounds really toxic. You can't excuse everything because of bpd- her only saying 'oh' for example is just insensitive.

 

[lovelulu]

Hugs. That sounds like it's really hurtful and I understand it's taking a toll on you. Am wondering why you are in this relationship when she makes you feel so much worse. It sounds really toxic. You can't excuse everything because of bpd- her only saying 'oh' for example is just insensitive.

Thank you. I'm extremely attached to her and im struggling to detach from her. I know how toxic it is—but I just cant bring myself to leave.

 

[Spicy Tteokbokki]

All she fucking said was 'oh'.

Oh man, I've had/have some friends like that and it straight up hurts and pisses me off so much. Like, it always feels like whatever was hurting me just became much, much worse afterwards because of that, lol.
You're not in the fault for feeling hurt about this, and even if she struggles so do you!!! Don't put yourself down and apologize and blame yourself in any way.

Try talking it out if you can, whether on voice or on text if that's easier, like once you're both a bit more "cooled" off from the situation, as right now it'll likely just fan the flames even more.

 

[fadedghost]

my FP has bpd, as mentioned in previous posts. She always splits on me and its the most hurtful things shes said to me. She make my depression and suicidal tendencies ten times worse. I know she cant help it and I always have to refrain getting mad at her too. Shes always blabbing about how she has bpd and you know she cant control it. Of course I fucking know that—but It dosent make it feel any less worse. For example—yesterday I had a really bad day. I was acting off and she asked what was wrong. At first I said nothing and then she said she knew something eas wrong so I told her. All she fucking said was 'oh'. What the hell? So I left her on seen and replied later. I figured she didnt care so I said sorry. Then she said why did I even respond if I already saw it. maybe because Im attached to you and I cant handle being away but she wouldn't fucking care about that, lol. Then I asked why she even asked what was wrong if that was all she was going to say. And then, of course, now I'm in the wrong and im annoying. I dont know what to do. I feel so shitty.

What is FP?

 

[aufrechtm7]

My ex had BPD and we were each others FP but she would split on me all the time too. I never knew how to properly deal with it, so I would just stonewall her all the time whenever it happened. I always figured it was better than getting mad at her or showing some type of response but that didn't work either, I tried to explain to her that I was never actually mad at her and that it was just a personal mechanism for stress but that did nothing for me.

I think the best way to curb the toxicity is to intentionally put distance, but it's SO hard because like you mentioned…it's not their fault and it's kind of unfair.

What is FP?

Favorite person

Oh man, I've had/have some friends like that and it straight up hurts and pisses me off so much. Like, it always feels like whatever was hurting me just became much, much worse afterwards because of that, lol.
You're not in the fault for feeling hurt about this, and even if she struggles so do you!!! Don't put yourself down and apologize and blame yourself in any way.

Try talking it out if you can, whether on voice or on text if that's easier, like once you're both a bit more "cooled" off from the situation, as right now it'll likely just fan the flames even more.

I accidentally yay reacted this when I meant to put a hug react, if you got confused by that just wanted to make this reply. Sorry