Discussion Share what makes you want to cry right now.

[Alec]

I haven't been able to cry, I don't know why, I think it's because I don't know how to handle the pain if I'll start crying it's like it will break the wall that holds it al together even though I feel the pain it's still held together but if I start crying it will break and everything will be out and I don't know how to be with all of it out, how to keep breathing with it how to feel it. Any advice?
I constantly WANT to cry, every day ALL day long, because of various reasons but mainly pain and loneliness that's crushing me and fear so much fear about everything it's driving me insane, I'm in constant panic mode, it's like I'm on the verge of tears but I just can't.

 

[Arisa]

Honestly my job is hell. It makes me cry a lot. I legit cry like 3 times a day. I hope when I ctb there is an afterlife to redo everything that I did wrong.

 

[oopswronglife]

My pain, your pain, our pain. All the suffering and unfairness in life. The selfishness and egos. The preventable, avoidable, unnecessary problems allowed to happen because it's not profitable to solve them. The people here resorting to desperate and difficult exits because they are denied a path to life while also being denied a peaceful death. What makes me cry right now? Everything.

 

[Buffy5120]

Being alive still even though theres a virus thats taking people out and the fact that i couldn't be the one person out of the estimated 20,000 people to die from it. This virus only comes every 100 years now is really the time to ctb with it i really have to get this virus fuck

 

[Nightmare]

Being alive still even though theres a virus thats taking people out and the fact that i couldn't be the one person out of the estimated 20,000 people to die from it. This virus only comes every 100 years now is really the time to ctb with it i really have to get this virus fuck

you will die of the incapability to breath, i dont suggest dying by corona it sounds really painful and could take so long

 

[Buffy5120]

you will die of the incapability to breath, i dont suggest dying by corona it sounds really painful and could take so long

Its still a way to die dont u get it? It will finally be over i wont have to go back and fourth on finding a method that could fail. Im not planning on going to the hospital.. only if i have a stroke.. but im just hoping the stroke kills me and i dont survive, thats literally my only reason of contemplating getting the virus.

 

[hatewillneverwin]

you will die of the incapability to breath, i dont suggest dying by corona it sounds really painful and could take so long

Yeah, and the probability to die by corona is really low anyway as long as you have an average immune system. So, you might just end up in the hospital for a couple of weeks and thats it. Definitely not worth it

 

[Blue Starz]

That on top of being abusive to me both as an innocent child & a young adult,

my own father abandoned me when i was extremely medically ill without helping me (when i had mercury poisoning after a dental cleaning drill loosened an old molar mercury filling and i inadvertently swallowed it); this is after he had already a bad history of violently abusing other family members and me. i finally disowned him for the 2nd & final time in life a few years ago.

That i've genuinely given some people a 2nd chance they begged for, out of the goodness of my heart...and then i have regretted it absolutely every time, so i finally stopped giving "second chances" because once is too many times.

Just walk away... because you should believe people the first time they show you who they are...

 

[LaLune]

What makes me want to cry is the absence of understanding of what will come next. Out of context, this can relate to the world right now. In context, this can relate to the uncertainty of dying.
Something always strikes me a little different when I see the names of users on my screen with slashes through them, knowing they're most likely gone from this world..

 

[maka]

This is extremely dumb but my school started an Instagram page today with my senior class, their majors, and the college they're going to. I know I should be happy for them, but just knowing that I can't go to college despite busting my behind for 18 years to make straight As and get involved and put aside everything I love just to please my parents, only to be betrayed by those same people makes me want to scream. My parents always told me that I was going to be miserable and I'm going to be a failure, and I was too dumb to see that they were manipulating me this entire time. Although I can't blame them. If only I wasn't stupid and autistic and I stopped procrastinating and started putting effort into things without crying all the time. Now I have to suffer because of my own actions.

 

[one4all]

Watching yesterday burn away and now i must go through another day, just to go through it again tomorrow. Shake stir repest

 

[Smashingairwaves]

My shitty parents

The fact I have no friends in this town

My nerve damage

How fucking tired I always am

 

[coreofanapple]

Besides being a general failure and a disgusting slime

I bailed on talking with friends in the middle of conversation because of how exhausted and depressed i feel.

 

[Buffy5120]

Yeah, and the probability to die by corona is really low anyway as long as you have an average immune system. So, you might just end up in the hospital for a couple of weeks and thats it. Definitely not worth it

I have autoimmune hashimotos would this make me more likely to ctb from it though?

 

[Never Free]

Anything and everything. Nothing, really. Am either crying or holding them back. Have been trying to get Refeeding Syndrome. My emotions are all over the place. Am really not myself. This is terrible. Am in physical and emotional agony. Wish I felt safe to do it quicker without fear of intervention.

you will die of the incapability to breath, i dont suggest dying by corona it sounds really painful and could take so long

Any drugs to numb it, while contracting this?

 

[muffin222]

I want to die right now, but I keep forcing myself to stick it out and keep trying because I'm so young (23) and I feel like my life could evolve into something greater. Yet, I almost don't want it to because I want the entire thing to be over with. Ugh.

 

[Painless_end]

I'm a male 31 and everyday I feel like crying over my inability to CTB

 

[Arvinneedstodie]

I feel so emotionless most of the times and unable to cry anymore as well. What has help me feel emotions again is by simply daydreaming and escaping my misery for a moment. A whole different life. A whole different experience. As i get older, it's becoming harder and harder to escape like that and imagine things with the great detail and immersion. So now i find materials online that can inspire me to feel those lost dreams and hopes that are buried deep inside me again, it could be a vibe from videos, songs, or sometimes i go on instagram and catch glimpses of other people's lives, and see what life could be like. Like during Halloween i would search the halloween hashtag and look through the endless amount of pics of people actually living life and having fun, and i can forget my own loneliness. Sometimes i would come across something that really stir up feelings inside me, and for that brief moment i am free, free from my miserable mind prison, i can feel again. I am not doing this in a negative and envious way. I am doing this to remind myself that misery and hopelessness are not the only experiences in the universe. Happiness, beauty, and interesting things do exist too. In those moments if i'm lucky, i learn to cry again.

Long term depression, loneliness, and stress have narrowed my mind. The void has almost become my only feeling. I am already broken beyond repair, but i can still fight back against the void and regain some feels again.

 

[DoodleBug]

I lost the ability to cry, now my eyes are bloodshot from the fleeting "escape" that is staying up until 5 AM doing nothing.

But when I fall into a state of despair that used to make me cry, it is because of my avoidance and extreme brain fog.

 

[Jen0804]

My life falling apart again

 

[Oyoy]

Struggling to die when others struggle to live.

 

[Done at Fifty]

Having to work for a living. I've been working in cubicles for 30 years now and can't stand it. It sounds lazy and I'd rather have an income than not, but the work place has changed and become so stressful these past 10 years. Its all layoffs, possible layoffs, temporary unemployment insurance, changing hours, companies going under, cashing out savings to survive, and management putting more and more pressure and tasks on the lowest rung. I can't take the uncertainty, the pressure, the constant feeling that I'm going to stop breathing and pass out. Just when I think its all good, I'm told more pressure and uncertainty are on their way. There's nothing left of me to enjoy life at the end of the week and sitting down and crying is all I have. I have my boss catch me crying at work and had to give a lame excuse that I had allergies. I live feeling I'm going to snap.

 

[The Dark Chaos]

Being alive still even though theres a virus thats taking people out and the fact that i couldn't be the one person out of the estimated 20,000 people to die from it. This virus only comes every 100 years now is really the time to ctb with it i really have to get this virus fuck

Me too. Badly wanting to be tested positive. I can relate.

 

[itsamadworld]

My jobs, human nature, I have nothing or no one to live for, I have BPD so we always have to cry, or we could end up in prison,........Interestingly, human tears were studied in a lab, and within our tears were found negative hormones that the body releases...

 

[The Dark Chaos]

Being me makes me cry!!

 

[elliebunny6]

The fact that I know this is going to hurt my boyfriend more than anything especially after how much my girlfriend's first suicide attempt traumatized him. That I won't get to live the life I was working so hard towards. The idea that I won't be able to embrace the ones I love again before I go and how they'll remember me after. The mental image of watching my girlfriend's body dying beside me as we both fade out

 

[oneanonymous]

It's difficult for me to cry nowadays. It wasn't always. I often want to, because it really does help, but I just can't. It's easier for me to cry when I'm angry and super stressed out, but I don't get angry very often anymore. Stress is still there but it's still just a dry whimper. That being said, I'll sometimes watch super depressing videos, like animals grieving a loss or something of that nature, and that usually works. I guess I just have a hard time crying over my own troubles, but can still cry when it comes to the pain of others. It really is a pain in and of itself when you get to the point where you can't even cry anymore. You're just too emotionally exhausted.

 

[StillWaiting]

Realized how screwed up my life has become and everyday is a living nightmare

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I find that if I watch or experience something really good (like a wholesome movie I guess) I can be a bit more in touch with myself? Then I may be able to cry, if I'm lucky. It doesn't provide me relief. But I hope you can find a (preferably healthy) release soon. Trapped pain is excruciating.

Right now, I want to cry because I'm so scared of gaining weight. It's silly. I have had many issues with food in the past and was obese for a few years. Managed to drop 80 pounds due to anxiety and depression. But I liked my weight for once. Now I'm on an antipsychotic and am terrified I'll gain it back. I was already eating more because of Lexapro - I couldn't taste anything and graviated towards junk to try and taste something, and I fell back into my shit eating habits. Trying to control it better, because I've gained almost 10 pounds.

 

[hatewillneverwin]

I have autoimmune hashimotos would this make me more likely to ctb from it though?

Yes, it makes you much more likely. But I still think there are other ways to ctb that are less hurtful. But you can try it ofc. I wish you the best. :)