shame and embarrassment

[roo]

i find it hard to open up to people in real life about my depression because im ashamed. even if i do open up to people i can only do it over text bc i find it uncomfortable to see how they react to what im saying. i think it comes from being ignored and pushed away by people i opened up to in the past. does anyone else feel like this?

 

[jenny6391bubbles]

yes, very much so. sometimes my bf pushes me away bc of it but i don't blame him. i think the therapy speak thing of having to ask if a person has time and space to listen to you, as well as the mental capacity can help sometimes. though, i know some people who get offended if you ask every time because it seems cold or condescending or whatever. it's really something you have to do on a case-to-case basis and it's really fucking hard having to read people all the time.

hugs w consent!

 

[unabletocope]

Yes, I feel like I'm the most awkward embarrassing person alive

 

[ConfusedClouds]

Yes I find text/written easier too - mainly less pressure on interrupting someone, they can read when they have time.

Also I totally freeze up and lose words face-to-face. And/or seem to autopilot to some normal smiley 'all grand' person who I get so confused by - is it all fake news - how can I be so not fine and then suddenly this.

I also have mega guilt/shame that I can't shake or seem to express due to the whole comparison to others and not accepting my non dramatic history as viable. This sabotages any communication. In person I shut off. Written, I spiral and apologise/try justifying a ton. Neither works - I gave up trying and isolate.

I really hope you are able to find someone who you are able to chat to in person after maybe a text build up.

 

[hot]

i find it hard to open up to people in real life about my depression because im ashamed. even if i do open up to people i can only do it over text bc i find it uncomfortable to see how they react to what im saying. i think it comes from being ignored and pushed away by people i opened up to in the past. does anyone else feel like this?

Hey, I feel the same way. I've never talked to anyone about my problems, except for a few people I trust. Most of the time I'm afraid that these people won't understand me, that they'll suddenly start to dislike me or reject me. Whenever I opened up to people (close friends), they never understood me or didn't take me seriously.

I hope things look better for you and that at some point you can open up to someone and talk to them about your problems without feeling embarrassed. Have a nice day everyone

 

[druggedonsurvival]

Yes, I understand this feeling completely. I never talk about my mental health problems with others because I'm afraid it will make them feel bad, and I don't want to make anyone else feel bad by subjecting them to the bullshit that goes on in my brain. I think a lot of people just don't understand depression and probably won't react positively because of the discomfort associated with having to hear about it.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

You shouldn't even try to open up to normal people, and males in particular need to avoid that.

If you can find a close friend who has maybe suffered a lot in some way too then that's potentially an option for someone to talk to. Even then, it would need to be at a time when they have the time/energy/desire for discussing such painful topics.

 

[3/4Dead]

For me, it was just about finding the right person. I hated opening up because of the people I was opening up to, and I just thought I hated being vulnerable (which I do but in specific capacities lol). My close friend really made himself into a safe space for me in a way I havent found in a while; what I mostly needed was someone who wasn't a yes-man or just "nooo =[ im sorry dont be sad" (as much as I appreciate the sentiment)

But that doesn't really overpower the shame when it comes to certain things. For a long time shame was simply an emotion I did not feel, but opening up really does that to a person. Something about laying myself bare really does feel horribly embarrasing. Everytime I say something I wanna take it right back. What I needed was someone who could soothe that feeling whenever it came about.

 

[Bannana]

i find it hard to open up to people in real life about my depression because im ashamed. even if i do open up to people i can only do it over text bc i find it uncomfortable to see how they react to what im saying. i think it comes from being ignored and pushed away by people i opened up to in the past. does anyone else feel like this?

Yes it is natural reaction to feel ashamed of self when exposing yourself in a way to the people around you