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VentingSh relapse
Thread starterSmallKoy
Start date
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Honestly I was doing better, and on this site much less. I didn't even really have a reason to self harm I just did. I hate myself. I hate disappointing people in my life when I fall back into these habits again. I was clean for a few weeks at least. Maybe I wasn't doing better and I was simply distracted from my feelings of dread and wanting to die.
I feel it's important to recognize that progress never happens linearly. Addictions are hard to break, especially ones that we hold so dear to us as they give a sense of relief. I am currently 6 months clean, but before that I was 3 years clean. I fucked up 3 years of being SH free. But, you know, it's ok. No one will beat you up for this other than yourself. And if someone else is beating you up for it, they can go fuck themselves. No one knows your body the way you do.
Yes, it hurts. It hurts to know that your progress has faltered. But I promise you, you ARE doing better. You are improving. Whether you can see it or not, the fact that you can acknowledge your progress or lack-thereof is a major accomplishment in and of itself.
Sorry for ranting on. I hate to see someone suffer in the same ways I did. If I can help in the slightest, I just want you to know that I'm proud of you.
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