NSFW Sex is making my suicidal thoughts and depression worse

[Leavesfromthevine]

I'm not sure why but every time I get done doing something sexual whether with a partner or alone I always just feel so much worse. It's very enjoyable during the act but as soon as it's over I just get hit with intense depression and suicidal thoughts.

It makes me not even want to do sexual stuff anymore because what's the point if it's not enjoyable. I'm just at lost on what I should do or if this is even something to worry about. I feel that I should at least put it to the side when she wants to get intimate because why should she get punished.

This is just very confusing for me. Does anyone else deal with something similar?

 

[restless.dreams]

It's happened to me before. In my case, probably a combination of past trauma, insecurity, and feeling used. I would consider talking to your partner about it, or maybe trying to identify where the feeling is coming from. Pushing it down or avoiding it probably won't help (even though that's what I do lol). Definitely not an expert, but you're not alone.

 

[kawaiiphantom]

I honestly rlly feel this. Even if I really enjoyed it and felt safe I always end up getting very depressed afterwards, also feeling used because of past sexual trauma, even though I know that they weren't using me at all. The person was very kind, affectionate, asked for consent every step of the way and asked if I was okay many times. I also feel guilty after doing something sexual alone. Maybe trying to identify what makes you feel suicidal and depressed after doing that stuff could help? Although I know you said you're not sure why you feel that way. I'm not really sure since I still struggle with it a lot ;W; You're not alone and I hope you end up feeling better about sexual stuff in the future Even though I know it can be super hard

 

[Aloneandinpain]

I've never had sex. Never even held hands. Really makes me feel like I missed out. I wouldn't even be here if I had a partner or at least experienced love once.

 

[Nofuture1234]

I'm not sure why but every time I get done doing something sexual whether with a partner or alone I always just feel so much worse. It's very enjoyable during the act but as soon as it's over I just get hit with intense depression and suicidal thoughts.

It makes me not even want to do sexual stuff anymore because what's the point if it's not enjoyable. I'm just at lost on what I should do or if this is even something to worry about. I feel that I should at least put it to the side when she wants to get intimate because why should she get punished.

This is just very confusing for me. Does anyone else deal with something similar?

I don't have a partner, never will without paying for it, but lately I haven't been able to "take care of myself" because like you said it's enjoyable during and actually a nice escape from reality, but then there's this awful feeling like my soul left my body. It's like a very dark kind of tired/exhaustion. I imagine having a partner to cuddle and all that would soften it somewhat, but maybe not. Sorry I don't have much to offer but you're not alone in that feeling. I'm not sure where it comes from for myself. It's not just loneliness although that does sting.

 

[MiMif]

I relate to this so much

 

[SexyIncél]

Hmm... are you kind of lonely even with her? Are you secretly yearning for something more? Perhaps from life?

 

[Slow_Farewell]

Yeah, can relate. I dont know why it's called post nut clarity anymore when there's no clarity to be had.

 

[Leavesfromthevine]

I've never had sex. Never even held hands. Really makes me feel like I missed out. I wouldn't even be here if I had a partner or at least experienced love once.

Maybe it's my severe depression or something else but it wasn't worth all the hype for me. Trying it was okay but I'd been okay without it especially knowing how it feels.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

Maybe it's my severe depression or something else but it wasn't worth all the hype for me. Trying it was okay but I'd been okay without it especially knowing how it feels.

I don't even need sex really. Just hugging for a long time and holding each other is what's I feel like I need more than anything.

 

[Zany]

Sex is grossly overrated. If you need warmth, get a teddy bear, much better

 

[binkie]

Sex releases a lot of chemicals that feel fantastic in the moment, but can cause intense emotions afterwards. This is why crying after sex is quite common. Consent is enthusiastic, if you feel like you're doing it because you have to that may be adding to your feelings of despair. Please don't view not having sex as punishment for your partner, you both deserve better than that. A good partner would be horrified to know you've been sleeping with them out of obligation when it is causing you emotional pain.

 

[Leavesfromthevine]

Sex is grossly overrated. If you need warmth, get a teddy bear, much better

Already have one and I definitely agree

 

[LetMeBeSad]

As someone that's been abused to the point where all I have is either hyper or hypo sexuality, I relate to this hard. On one had, I can barely get aroused most of the time. Which causes a lot of shame. Especially since everything in society seems to come down to sexual performance. On the other, I sometimes for short periods, can get aroused at nothing at all. Then I just feel disgusted with myself. I was hanging out with a female friend the other day and got aroused over nothing. She knows my history and was very graceful about it but, I felt so disgusted that I had to leave. I can't stand myself after any sexual act. I feel like a pervert.

 

[SexyIncél]

Sex is grossly overrated. If you need warmth, get a teddy bear, much better

Sex is a complicated act. On the psychological level, I notice people like different levels of: goofiness, elegance & brutishness. Altering your style & mindset could have different outcomes

Can be pursued like an artform. Where your bed is a stage

Also, there's alternate forms of eroticism. One asexual gal I knew looooved massages; always raised her forarm goosebumps. You could also hold back from orgasm. If she asks, try being honest: blasting into her leads to strange melancholy. May make you seem byronic

Maybe Alexey Welsh has tips

 

[stilhavinightmares]

I struggle with this too. It's a horrible, confusing feeling. I wonder if maybe it has to do with the rush of endorphins when you orgasm, and also having sexual trauma in the past.

 

[ReadyOrNot?]

Strangly I know that feeling too. Half an hour or so I'm happy. Especially if me and my ex cuddle or fall to sleep together. But if I can't sleep in time everything felt empty and pointless. I got up then and had to calm down for hours to be able to sleep again. As long as my mind needs to get tired again it continues.
Can't do anything about it either. I can woosh away a thought or two, but that only lasts seconds. That is why I can't Meditate anymore too.