September?!

[Wisdom3_1-9]

How is it September already? I honestly never thought I would make it this far. My life changed one night in July 2019 and I thought I was going to end things that night. If it wasn't for my husband, I would have.

I left home on May 23 to go to a hotel to take SN. I did everything but drink the solution. I went through the process again a few weeks later. Same deal. Never did I even fathom that I'd still be around in September 2020, still struggling; still hating life.

I'm angrier than I was 14 months ago. I have more hatred in my heart. I'm a worse human being. It's only going to get worse. If I make it to October I'll be flabbergasted. Gosh, I hope I don't make it to October.

 

[overcomingfear]

Time flies. Summer just started and it's over that fast. I hope you can find power to bring peace to yourself

 

[TAW122]

Yeah, time flies quickly too for me as well. This year has been in the shitter for the most part as the pandemic has really turned everyone's plans and lives upside down. In addition to the pandemic, my life has already been sucky in the last decade in it's totality. Sure, I had times where there were reprieve but oftenly, short-lived. Anyways, I digress, but I wish you are able to find the courage to find peace in whatever decision you arrive at.

Edit: Also, I don't like the month of September, mostly because of suicide prevention month.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Before you know it it'll be Christmas ;)

 

[Deleted member 18655]

I was thinking the same thing. I was hoping to go by the end of August. October cannot happen.

 

[AwokenToReality]

Yeah, I originally planned to ctb in June and now it's September... I hate time and my inability to finally say fuck everything already

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I'm counting months too. We survived August which I don't know if it's good or bad.

 

[fat feet]

I was thinking the same thing. I was hoping to go by the end of August. October cannot happen.

October would be my best bet. I have always moved or changed my life in a big way in October.

Before you know it it'll be Christmas ;)

I am not doing Christmas this year. Not a chance.

 

[ladolcemorte]

I am in the same boat. Was pulled off a bridge in June 2019. Hospitalized from June 2019 to Octoner 2019. Dragged myself through the holidays in 2019/2020. Then covid hit and the world stood still.

Then I was hospitalized from June 2020 to early August 2020. Cannot believe it is actually September. All this time gone by with nothing accomplished....

 

[Sinai Silence]

it really did come around so quickly, this whole year has felt like a blur quite honestly. More than the other years at least.

 

[DyingAlf]

Also, I don't like the month of September, mostly because of suicide prevention month.

Suicide Prevention month makes me want to bring my ctb date forward to specifically ctb in prevention month!

edit: looks like it's only suicide prevention DAY here in the UK. 10th Sept. not a whole month.

 

[InevitablePattern91]

Yes, September.
The suicide prevention month. The month where a lot of people in the whole world pretend to care about suicidals.

 

[Hornyaboutdeath]

I find it crazy too.Time flies like big cats run.
Why and how do you feel worse as a human being?

 

[Squiddy]

I remember when it was just January

 

[Cherrypea]

edit: looks like it's only suicide prevention DAY here in the UK. 10th Sept. not a whole month.

Stiff upper lip and all that

 

[Michaelwaev]

Stiff upper lip and all that

Bastards putting it on my birthday.

 

[checkouttime]

I might just make my day september 10th :) didn't prevent that did they!!

 

[Michaelwaev]

I might just make my day september 10th :) didn't prevent that did they!!

Hahah that'd be the most rock n roll. I'd do that.

 

[foxdie]

Time has no meaning for me now. I feel like 2019 like 3 years ago lol. Don't put to much pressure on the timing of ctb. I believe when you can do it, you will. Much love ❤

 

[Cherrypea]

Bastards putting it on my birthday.

Oh the irony