I'm used to self-medicating. I used to self-medicate with poppy pod tea and kratom, but they only had temporary effects on me, made me foggy, interfered with my regular medication, and almost made me addicted. Instead I started experimenting with so-called herbal highs and they have worked wonders for me. It sounds like a monumental exaggeration but without them I would be consumed by anxiety and depression and end it all immediately. Herbal highs are de facto narcotic, but much weaker than scheduled drugs. They are legal in all or almost all countries in the world, natural, not addictive, easy to find on eBay and in other places, and in most cases inexpensive. Most of them don't make you as foggy and lethargic as scheduled drugs do. Many of them also have other health effects, but I won't discuss them here as they are difficult to measure and often are contested.
This is not some New Age shit or placebo. Many herbal highs have been subject to medical studies which show that they really have effect. In fact, there are plans to extract the active substances from some of them and turn them into medicines. These herbal highs have helped me and many others suffering from anxiety, depression, and bipolarity so maybe they will help you too. However, they certainly don't work for everyone and they won't solve your problems, but they might reduce or neutralise your anxiety and depression and make your everyday life easier. Again, they are in most cases inexpensive, so it won't cost you much to try them out if you find the idea interesting.
A couple of warnings. When I talked about this with a psychiatrist, he didn't raise any objections. In fact, he basically encouraged it. However, this doesn't mean that these herbs won't interact with your medication, although the risk is probably smaller than with stronger drugs such as opioids and benzodiazepines. Also, notice that few if any of these herbs have been allergy tested. It's a good idea to make a test with a small sample before taking a full dose. Even if you don't fear death, there are better ways to die than of anaphylactic shock. Finally, the long-term effects of these herbs are not known, but that's maybe of minor importance if you plan to leave for good.
If you know of any other good herbs feel free to share. The more options to choose between, the better.
Damiana (Turnera diffusa): If you want to test herbs this is the best one to start with, in my opinion. Damiana is a mild sedative which has surprisingly good anxiolytic and antidepressant effects on many people, including me. This herb literally keeps me alive, because I don't get any suicidal impulses while on damiana. I never get high on damiana, although it's possible at high doses – I just feel wonderfully normal. For me, the effects usually last a working day or longer, i.e. at least eight hours. You can drive and go to work on damiana without any problems, unless taken in very high doses. For better or worse, it's also a surprisingly strong aphrodisiac. It's claimed that damiana has a reverse tolerance, i.e. if you use it for a long time you need lower doses, and it might actually be true. It's usually brewed as a tea, but it can also be smoked with shorter, mildly euphoric effects. I usually bring a bottle of damiana tea to work.
Kanna (Sceletium tortuosum): First of all, it should be mentioned that kanna is said to basically be an SSRI and that there are people who use kanna instead of SSRI's. It's not clear if kanna and SSRI's interact and if so, how. That said, this is a mild stimulant which lifts the mood, and it could perhaps be described as very weak cocaine. For me, the effects last a few hours, and I need to "refill" during the day. As with damiana, you can drive and go to work on kanna without any problems, unless taken in very high doses, because then it becomes sedating for many people. It's usually made into an extract and ingested, but it can also be smoked with more sedative effects or snorted with faster, but shorter effects. A word of warning: it's really painful to snort kanna the first times. I usually ingest it, but sometimes I snort it when I need to lift my mood quickly.
Damiana + Kanna: Damiana and kanna in combination have a very good effect on many people, including yours truly. This is the basis of my self-medication. It makes me feel perfectly normal and it's fantastic really. I've used it on an almost daily basis for about four months now and I've only had to increase the doses of kanna slightly due to developing tolerance. Highly recommended.
Wild dagga (Leonotis leonurus): Wild dagga is a sedative, but it has weaker effects than damiana, at least for me. However, many people hold it in high regard, so I thought I should include it. It's ingested either as an extract, probably the most common method, or as a tea, with calming and relaxing effects. Reportedly, it can also be smoked with mood enhancement and mild euphoria as effects. Some people even compare it to marijuana, but I don't know how accurate that is. I've bought small amounts of Wild dagga and use it infrequently so to not use damiana all the time and develop tolerance.
Wild dagga + Kanna: This combination is also held in high regard by many people, but it doesn't do much for me personally. However, I should point out that I've only tried weak doses. I suspect that when it works, it resembles the combination of damiana and kanna, but that's just a guess.
Passionflower (Passiflora incarnata): Passionflower has a mildly anxiolytic effect, but it's not as effective as damiana, at least not for me. Many people, including me, find it to be a very good sleeping aid, though. In my experience, the effects don't last long, so you have to go to bed soon after you have taken it. It makes me a little bit foggy, so I avoid driving until the effects have passed. Passionflower is as far as I know always brewed as a tea.
Ephedra (Ephedra sinica): First a word of warning. Ephedra is a strong stimulant which should be handled with care. At high doses and/or in combination with other stimulants such as caffeine, there may be very unpleasant adverse effects such as anxiety, vomiting, and seizures, and in the worst-case scenario cardiac arrest or stroke. It's also a strong dietary supplement, which may have negative health effects if not used in moderation. For these reasons, it's illegal to use ephedra in supplements in some countries, but it's as far as I know not illegal to buy ephedra in any countries. That said, it's well documented that ephedra increases physical energy, strength, and stamina. I've taken ephedra in low doses before going to the gym, and I can confirm that it really has a good effect. If you suffer from depression and feel listless and feeble, this might be worth considering, but again, be careful.
Passionflower + Ephedra: This combination has unexpected effects. It's relaxing and euphoric, actually resembling opioids to some degree. The euphoric effects last less than an hour, but the relaxing effects last a couple of hours or more, at least for me. It doesn't exactly make me foggy, but it makes me sort of feverish in a way that I don't think mix well with driving. Passionflower and ephedra are brewed as a tea, either together or separately. This is not something I take every day, but every now and then when I need to really relax and forget all my worries.
White sage (Salvia apiana): White sage is usually used as an incense, but it can actually also be ingested. It has very good anxiolytic effects on many people and is also a good sleeping aid. I seldom use this to counter anxiety and depression, but I've used it with good effect when I've suffered from insomnia. Contrary to most of the other herbs listed here, white sage makes many people feel stoned, although not as stoned as on cannabis, so you should not drive or go to work while using it. It's usually brewed as a tea. Reportedly, if you take high doses or smoke it you will get really ill.
Gotu cola (Centella asiatica): For me, gotu cola has stronger sedative effects than anxiolytic, and anxiety can "shine through" a little bit sometimes. I find it relaxing and sometimes take it in the evening before I go to bed. It's not on the top of my list, but it's not a bad option and I use it as an alternative to damiana at times. Gotu cola makes me slightly foggy so I would hesitate to drive or go to work when under the influence. It's usually ingested in capsules or brewed as a tea; the latter has a much stronger effect on me than the former.
S:t John's wort (Hypericum perforatum): First of all, S:t John's wort may interact negatively with some prescription medicines, so it's a good idea to read up on it before using it. Many people speak well of it and for good reasons. It's been used since antiquity and a multitude of studies have shown that it has antidepressant properties. When it comes to me, it does have rather good antidepressant and anxiolytic effects. It's a tad too sedative for me and I don't really like the earthy taste, but that's just me. Again, many people like S:t John's wort and there are documented effects, so it's well worth a try. It's usually ingested in capsules or brewed as a tea; the latter has a much stronger effect on me than the former.
Lemon grass (Cymbopogon): Lemon grass is mildly sedative and anxiolytic. To me, it has very weak effects, even at high doses. Almost all the herbs listed here are stronger than lemon grass. Still, it offers some soft and mild sedation and contrary to most herbs on this list it tastes quite good. I use it as a backup in case I develop tolerance for more potent herbs. As far as I know, lemon grass is always brewed as a tea.
Wild lettuce (Lactuca virosa): Wild lettuce is sometimes called the poor man's opium. Supposedly, it has analgesic, sedative, and hallucinatory effects. To be honest, I think it's bullshit. Admittedly, I haven't snorted it in high doses which allegedly gives stronger effects, but I've ingested a 100:1 extract and I've not felt any effects whatsoever. Maybe that's just me, though. Some people speak well of wild lettuce so I thought I should include it anyway. It can be made into a tea, ingested as an extract, smoked, and snorted.
Kava: This herb has really been hyped in recent years. It has many fans because of its sedative and euphoric effects. The euphoric effects usually last for 1–3 hours while the sedative effects can last many more hours. I was underwhelmed by kava, to be honest. It's certainly sedative, but it makes me foggy and lethargic. I certainly don't recommend driving or going to work while on Kava. As for euphoric effects, I didn't experience any whatsoever, nor from the combination Damiana and Kava which supposedly gives even stronger euphoric effects. Don't take my word for it, though. Kava supposedly has a reverse tolerance, but I have no idea if it's true or not. Kava is always prepared into a cold beverage which requires some preparation.
Catuaba bark (Trichilia catigua, Exythroxylum vaccinifolium, etc.): This is a stimulant, somewhat similar to caffeine and acting just as fast, if not faster. What's interesting in this context is that the first time I took it, I was surprised that it not only had a stimulating effect on me, but also a stabilising effect. Suddenly there was no emotional rollercoaster or inner turmoil. Perhaps it works that way on me because I'm bipolar. It doesn't always work but when it does the effects last many hours. It might be worth considering if you suffer from depression and feel listless and feeble. Catuaba bark is as far as I know always brewed as a tea. A word of warning: it stains all kinds of materials badly, even metal.
Siberian ginseng (Eleutherococcus senticosus): This is also a stimulant. Contrary to most other stimulants, the effects come on slowly and subtly. This has an amazingly stabilising effect on me, much more so than catuaba bark. I experience no anxiety, depressive thoughts, or suicide impulses while I'm on a strong dose of Siberian ginseng. The effects last a whole day for me. Again, this might be because I'm bipolar, so it might not work if you suffer from other mood disorders. I'm beginning to think that I could skip all other herbs and focus on this one. I even feel that I could skip my regular medication, but that's something I wouldn't dare doing. It can be brewed as a tea, but it's mostly taken as capsules or tablets. I usually take some capsules before I go to work, and always if I've slept badly. Strangely, it seems that low or medium doses may have stronger effects than high doses for me.
Black maca (Lepidium peruvianum Chacon): Maca is sometimes said to be related to coca, from which cocaine is extracted, but I'd say that's bullshit. Be that as it may, black maca is the strongest variety of maca. It's a stimulant resembling Siberian ginseng, but the effects come on faster, at least for me. Black maca also has a stabilising effect on me, although not quite as strong as Siberian ginseng. A disadvantage with Black maca is that it's a bit rough on your stomach. As far as I know, it's usually taken in capsules, but I assume you can make coffee on it too. I often take a few capsules of black maca as a complement to my Siberian ginseng, as I feel that they interact well and potentiate each other.
Panax ginseng (Panax ginseng): Ginseng is well-known and Panax ginseng, A.K.A. Korean or Red ginseng, is the possibly most potent variety. It's sometimes said to have anxiolytic and antidepressant properties at medium doses, and that might be true. However, I only take it in high doses. It sounds ridiculous, but you can actually get high on ginseng. It's difficult to explain the feeling, but it's like you are clear and alert and foggy and sedated at the same time. I don't think it's a good idea to drive while on high doses of potent ginseng. A disadvantage with pure Panax ginseng root, which as far as I know is the most potent form of ginseng, is that it's quite expensive. Nonetheless, I only buy Panax ginseng root and use it on rare occasions, mostly social events, to supress shyness and nervousness, and it always works. It's normally taken in capsules, but it can be taken in many other ways. I simply brew it as a tea and allow it to steep for a very long time.
Sassafras (Sassafras albidum): First a word of warning. This herb affects serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine levels so it may be dangerous to combine it with SSRI's and other antidepressants. Also, it may be carcinogenic, although there's no definitive proof to support this. It's a so-called precursor to MDMA, and at higher doses there are somewhat similar effects. With that said, it's an effective sedative that kicks in fast. Sassafras efficiently kill all anxiety and depression for me. It makes me slightly foggy, although nowhere near cannabis or opioids, so I would hesitate to drive while on sassafras, but not to go to work. It's almost invariably smoked – a tea has almost non-existent effects – and can be mixed with damiana to get giggles. A word of warning: the smoke is really harsh. I use sassafras infrequently, in moderation, and only when I experience acute anxiety and depression, as I imagine that I get a dopamine dip afterwards.
Sassafras + Damiana: Some people speak well of this combination and I'm one of them. To me, it has both the qualities of sassafras and damiana, but also somewhat dreamy qualities. I feel good and sometimes get the giggles too. For some reason, I haven't used it many times, but it has been a pleasant experience every time. Sassafras and damiana are smoked in combination, usually with more sassafras than damiana.
