MeltingHeart

MeltingHeart

Visionary
Sep 9, 2019
2,151
I read somewhere that sometimes (though of course not in all cases) self harm is a sort of preparation or 'building up to' ctb - you build up some tolerance to pain, you 'teach' yourself how to inflict harm on yourself, you become a little bit 'braver' (for want of a better word) each time. I've started to self-harm a little for the first time in well over ten years & I only ever did a couple of small times before- once as a teen and again in my twenties - I'm wondering if I am unconsciously trying to build up nerve to harm myself or whether it's just because of the turmoil I am now in...
 
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realjunes

Warlock
Oct 1, 2019
730
Why not both? Considering what you have been through..
 
MeltingHeart

MeltingHeart

Visionary
Sep 9, 2019
2,151
Why not both? Considering what you have been through..
yeah that true-im having violent thoughts towards myself- but am kinda too 'sane' to do them - also just enough of me knows that I could just end up very badly injured or locked up somewhere-it's horrible to have those thoughts all the time though
 
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