Venting Self-aggressive thoughts

[Anakinisdead]

Is only me or anyone have that too? When i fell like a SHIT, I start to think about torturing myself until die. Is too much graphic and violent but ik i don't have a courage to make that (obviously it would be a shitty and painful experience). Is it just me or anyone else?

 

[Lone_Gray_Wolf]

Mine don't go that hard, but I think is fair to say that a sizable number of people here struggle with self-harm, specially when they feel bad and/or disregard for one's integrity.

 

[Ch4in3dcr0w]

Well my self-harm or any suicidal ideation doesnt go as far as torturing myself, i prefer peace above all else. I have tried waterboarding myself as an experiment/self-harm and the only thing i got from it is the understanding why its a torture method T-T

 

[eggsausagerice]

yes. i have these thoughts. sometimes i think i'm crazy for having these thoughts. i just want to get purged or purge myself from existence forever because i feel like such a boring burden to everyone around me. sometimes imagining something really visceral (i don't like to look at gore) helps me deal with my intrusive thoughts because i have somewhere for the anger to go. sometimes i just want something really bad to happen to me so that people can like me again.

 

[Anakinisdead]

yes. i have these thoughts. sometimes i think i'm crazy for having these thoughts. i just want to get purged or purge myself from existence forever because i feel like such a boring burden to everyone around me. sometimes imagining something really visceral (i don't like to look at gore) helps me deal with my intrusive thoughts because i have somewhere for the anger to go. sometimes i just want something really bad to happen to me so that people can like me again.

Same!! I just want to die in such a brutal way that they can no longer recognize my body or that it is at least disfigured for everyone to see that what existed there was just a mistake. I don't think they would like me if that happened, after all, I'm boring, my voice is irritating, I'm a burden in the lives of those I enter, I'm usually useless and a bunch of other shit. Becoming gore material would be something much more welcome to the disturbed eyes of the internet...

 

[liquid jen]

Yeah I have these thoughts a lot too. Especially if I'm not home, and therefore unable to self harm. They typically are really exta violent and beyond realistic. I know I would probably never act on them, but they tend to serve as a substitute and calm me down. Gives me something visceral to focus on and release. I wish I had the will to do some grand mutilation or torture to myself, but maybe it's for the better I don't.