Seeking validation

[jazbrt]

I really feel like people don't understand why I want to die. I struggle so much with my mental illness that it's really consistently affecting my quality of life. If a person were so sick they had to spend days in bed and couldn't get out and about we would consider it okay for them to have had enough. But to have the same for something mental it's something to get through. I know my illness will follow me for my entire life and I can't face doing this for years and years to come. I want to know that there is an exit, I don't feel anything sad at the thought of being dead, just content in knowing I enjoyed what I could from life before it became so unbearable I went completely mad and couldn't be independent anymore.

 

[MissionSucksAssFul]

100% agreed! I also see the cycle in my mental health which I repeated many times already, and know that noone could ever reasonably hold CTBing against me if they knew what it feels like...

 

[animism]

If a person were so sick they had to spend days in bed and couldn't get out and about we would consider it okay for them to have had enough. But to have the same for something mental it's something to get through.

I've been bedridden for many years and even then I got so much hate for speaking up about ending it. Constantly hearing "don't give up yet, let's try this or that" like everyone was a doctor and knew better. It always made me angry and like they don't understand. Because they didn't. If I knew then that I would still be here many years later still wanting to die when I'm no longer bedridden then I could've shut them up and stopped receiving false hope. Getting crushed constantly is exhausting and deprecating . I hear you and can relate to everything you said. No words of advice just hugs.

 

[FuneralCry]

I just think that is why it's for the best not to be open about our suffering with other people, they can be so insensitive and invalidating as they simply cannot see life in the same way and they just don't understand and won't even try to. But anyway it shouldn't matter about what others think, nobody is obligated to continue existing in this world, it's a personal decision when to leave.