Searching for SN source (US)

[exiled]

Please PM me if you know of a reliable SN source. I'm not quite ready to CTB but my panic attacks, anxiety, and physical health is all going downhill and I will be at peace knowing it's there.

I was just told I will need a liver transplant from a disease that I was born with and I don't want to go through with that.

I'm also so very heartbroken that the person I love is likely someone I can never have.

Please. Help put me out of my misery, even tho I am not leaving yet. I just need SN.
I am in the US