Venting school and depression is such a shitty combo

[wackers6969]

I'm in my first year of college, doing okay-ish, I'm a B student with a C or two. School never really clicked with me, but it was never the main reason I feel like shit. It just really starts to add up when I begin to relapse on old habits. I've been feeling this way since high school, and it seemed to go away for a while, but something happened at home that made me go back to my old habits of not going to school, cutting classes, starving myself, not bathing, etc. It got really bad, and I tried to end it all by jumping off a bridge. I failed because I wanted to leave a note for my girlfriend, but she caught me and wouldn't let me out of her house until my family picked me up. I try to stay alive now, but it gets harder and harder with school piling up. It's not like I can explain my situation to my groupmates; they wouldn't give a shit, they probably already hate me. A part of me wants to talk to someone at school about this. Like a guidance counselor or something along those lines.

I really thought my life was going to end around a week ago. How do you continue as someone who isn't even supposed to be? I've missed so much that I feel overwhelmed whenever I even have the energy to attend my classes. I don't know how much longer I can go on at this point.

 

[Suspect_Device]

I've noticed a lot of people drop out along the way in the four years I've been in college. Even as someone graduating in December with a 3.8 I'm wondering why I even bothered with it, I've been waking up in the middle of the night every single night for the past month wondering where I go from here.

 

[fromange]

Sameee. I don't know anything about your situation, but from my experience, yeah groupmates don't give a shit and do probably hate you. So I would keep that expectation there. Counselor or disability service might be able to do something. Just send an email. Their policy might be shit so don't have too high of an expectation here either but you can say you tried.

It's hard. What would happen if you drop out, can you take a break, does it look like you can make through this term with the effort you can afford, would your family be supportive, do they pay tuition, etc. are some things to think about. You probably thought of them already. If school is really that bad you can quit and if your family won't support that decision you can quit them too.