Help Scared on my last day?

[fluorescentpearl]

Tomorrow it's it, my last day alive, the thought of all the grief my mother will go through is petrifying, the idea that I'll cause her to never recover, I want her to be okay so bad, I want her to live a good life and be okay and happy and keep me in her memory, I can't bear to leave knowing she'd be hurt.. I love her too much for that, I really, really love my mom..

 

[Aflame5926]

if you can not face what your actions going to cause then please dont.
then stay a bit longer just for her. you can always CTB a bit later.

is it really worth it? or can you still drown yourself with alcohol or drugs to make a bit more manageable?
or even get meds just to stay a bit longer for your mother?

and you dont need to answer this. im just a random stranger over the internet and you owe me nothing.

 

[fluorescentpearl]

if you can not face what your actions going to cause then please dont.
then stay a bit longer just for her. you can always CTB a bit later.

is it really worth it? or can you still drown yourself with alcohol or drugs to make a bit more manageable?
or even get meds just to stay a bit longer for your mother?

and you dont need to answer this. im just a random stranger over the internet and you owe me nothing.

I'm against alcohol and drug use for myself, and I'm on medication.. I feel like I have to do it but I don't know if I can bear to hurt her, I've put aside lots of things because I hoped she wouldn't be hurt by me or my behavior..
I feel like I have to do it, it's the only way logically, I'll just miss her so bad..

This is one of the biggest dilemma's of suicide. It makes me cry just reading your post.

Why are you exiting, are you sure there is no solution or something that could make you a bit more happy or life doable?

I can't think of any solution.. I'm giving up cus of a breakup as stupid as it sounds, he was the happiest I'd been in my whole life and his last cruelty towards me was.. Horrible, taking away everyone I have
Plus my teeth are rotting which would put us 25 k Euro in debt.. Plus I don't have a job or education, I only bed rot and spend money, I'm good for nothing and my grandmother knows it, there's only pros to me leaving, I just wish I could somehow prevent my mom from hurting so bad over it..

 

[melon-melancholy]

Maybe a dental school might help with your teeth. They are cheaper than the regular dentist

 

[No-name]

I'm against alcohol and drug use for myself, and I'm on medication.. I feel like I have to do it but I don't know if I can bear to hurt her, I've put aside lots of things because I hoped she wouldn't be hurt by me or my behavior..
I feel like I have to do it, it's the only way logically, I'll just miss her so bad..

I can't think of any solution.. I'm giving up cus of a breakup as stupid as it sounds, he was the happiest I'd been in my whole life and his last cruelty towards me was.. Horrible, taking away everyone I have
Plus my teeth are rotting which would put us 25 k Euro in debt.. Plus I don't have a job or education, I only bed rot and spend money, I'm good for nothing and my grandmother knows it, there's only pros to me leaving, I just wish I could somehow prevent my mom from hurting so bad over it..

What was his last cruelty? How old are you? and do you think it is possible you'll find someone else to love you?
You still have your mother and maybe other people who care about you.
Having someone who loves you isn't always granted in this world. You still have your mother.

A way to fix your teeth could cheer you up? Try asking someone for help, did you go to a dentist and ask for all the possible treatments?

 

[Aflame5926]

I'm against alcohol and drug use for myself, and I'm on medication.. I feel like I have to do it but I don't know if I can bear to hurt her, I've put aside lots of things because I hoped she wouldn't be hurt by me or my behavior..
I feel like I have to do it, it's the only way logically, I'll just miss her so bad..

yes but you know SI can be a bitch.

last thing is you end up in a panic and then try to back out. and maybe by then its to late.
and maybe the you now say that is fine but not the one that is in panic mode.

in my opinion i think you should resolve this issue. logical you are right. but i dont know about you emotionel state says the same thing

 

[fluorescentpearl]

Maybe a dental school might help with your teeth. They are cheaper than the regular dentist

I looked at that too and it isn't a viable option, sadly

What was his last cruelty? How old are you? and do you think it is possible you'll find someone else to love you?
You still have your mother and maybe other people who care about you.
Having someone who loves you isn't always granted in this world. You still have your mother.

A way to fix your teeth could cheer you up? Try asking someone for help, did you go to a dentist and ask for all the possible treatments?

I wrote about it in the "I miss him" threads and the "my reasons" thread.. I'm 21,and no I don't think I'll ever find someone else to love me that way
I still have my mother yet I can't bear to go on and survive, as much as I adore her, I've reached my breaking point
I did go to a dentist and I did ask for help, I don't have anyone left in my life and the dentist told me it's very bad and not fixable easy and will be very expensive

yes but you know SI can be a bitch.

last thing is you end up in a panic and then try to back out. and maybe by then its to late.
and maybe the you now say that is fine but not the one that is in panic mode.

in my opinion i think you should resolve this issue. logical you are right. but i dont know about you emotionel state says the same thing

Theoretically I shouldn't panic since I'll be taking calming meds