Scared my best friend is going to CBT if I do

[zooweee]

My best friend who is the person I care about the most in this world has struggled badly with suicidal ideation and attempts for a long time. I think she is struggling with it right now as well. I am probably going to end up ending it before too long, and I know that she is going to do the same if she loses me. I'm all she has and she is all I have.

But I just can't live like this. There genuinely is no hope for me for many reasons I'm not going to share. I just don't know how to accept this scary truth,, yeah I will be dead so why care right? But I want her to achieve her dreams and goals.. I know I'm going to be the one that takes that away from her in the end all because I can't live like this anymore.

 

[death or death]

My best friend who is the person I care about the most in this world has struggled badly with suicidal ideation and attempts for a long time. I think she is struggling with it right now as well. I am probably going to end up ending it before too long, and I know that she is going to do the same if she loses me. I'm all she has and she is all I have.

But I just can't live like this. There genuinely is no hope for me for many reasons I'm not going to share. I just don't know how to accept this scary truth,, yeah I will be dead so why care right? But I want her to achieve her dreams and goals.. I know I'm going to be the one that takes that away from her in the end all because I can't live like this anymore.

This really does sound like a heavy situation, I sympathise with you. Some people would view this in a way where once you're gone, you won't be there to realise the grief you may inflict on her. I honestly can't give you any definite answer, but I do hope the both of you manage to find your peace soon.