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ExitiumVitae

ExitiumVitae

Member
Dec 14, 2021
50
Hello internet!
I put my phone on a chair and filmed my suicide attempt so I can review what I did wrong and perfect my method for the next time. I won't show it to anyone, so you don't get to see it :P Two things: 1. I have never gotten this far! 2. I looked stupid as hell. All I could remember was losing consciousness and the next thing I know, I was lying on the floor somehow! But this is what happened:

I put the noose over my head, sat with folded legs, hunched over and closed my eyes. I felt a rising pressure on my head and a wave of calmness over my body before I gave in. When I lost consciousness my body subtly dangled on the rope left and right, as I can see on the video, and then the thrashing happened. My eyes rolled up as if I was possessed and my body fell over while the noose unforgivingly gripped my thrashing body by the neck. I slammed my hand on the floor, my head on the wall (which was loud), my legs collapsed and hit the floor, now I was lying on the floor, my head hit the floor hard, my limbs were shaking. I felt none of this, instead I stood up disoriented and confused, I shortly could think clearly again and thought ''How did my body end up on the floor?''

The rolling eyes and my body spazzing out made me seem possessed. So that was a really interesting experience, I hope to be closer to death next time! (or dead, if I'm really optimistic).
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,615
To me hanging sounds like such an horrible way to leave this world. I know I deserve to exit peacefully. For me the thing that holds me back from hanging is the fear of failure. I wish you the best in whatever happens.
 
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LeapOfFaith

LeapOfFaith

Member
Jul 16, 2020
80
How long does it take before brain damage occur? I wanna use this method as well but I am scared that if I fail I would became a vegetable. How long were you out for? The trashing and the eyes upward is a thing called syncope search for it.
 
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ExitiumVitae

ExitiumVitae

Member
Dec 14, 2021
50
How long does it take before brain damage occur? I wanna use this method as well but I am scared that if I fail I would became a vegetable. How long were you out for? The trashing and the eyes upward is a thing called syncope search for it.
According to Geo Stone ''After about four to five minutes of anoxia, permanent brain damage becomes increasingly likely''. I checked and to my surprise, the whole thrashing thing was only 8 seconds! I did all that in 8 seconds how weird...
(22 seconds) I put the noose on my neck and leaned over
(5 seconds) my body began visibly dangling left and right
(8 seconds) my body was thrashing about
 
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LADY007

LADY007

Specialist
Feb 25, 2020
373
Hello internet!
I put my phone on a chair and filmed my suicide attempt so I can review what I did wrong and perfect my method for the next time. I won't show it to anyone, so you don't get to see it :P Two things: 1. I have never gotten this far! 2. I looked stupid as hell. All I could remember was losing consciousness and the next thing I know, I was lying on the floor somehow! But this is what happened:

I put the noose over my head, sat with folded legs, hunched over and closed my eyes. I felt a rising pressure on my head and a wave of calmness over my body before I gave in. When I lost consciousness my body subtly dangled on the rope left and right, as I can see on the video, and then the thrashing happened. My eyes rolled up as if I was possessed and my body fell over while the noose unforgivingly gripped my thrashing body by the neck. I slammed my hand on the floor, my head on the wall (which was loud), my legs collapsed and hit the floor, now I was lying on the floor, my head hit the floor hard, my limbs were shaking. I felt none of this, instead I stood up disoriented and confused, I shortly could think clearly again and thought ''How did my body end up on the floor?''

The rolling eyes and my body spazzing out made me seem possessed. So that was a really interesting experience, I hope to be closer to death next time! (or dead, if I'm really optimistic).
thanks for sharing !!
 
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occamsrazor

occamsrazor

we’re born astride the grave
Jan 31, 2022
45
Hello internet!
I put my phone on a chair and filmed my suicide attempt so I can review what I did wrong and perfect my method for the next time. I won't show it to anyone, so you don't get to see it :P Two things: 1. I have never gotten this far! 2. I looked stupid as hell. All I could remember was losing consciousness and the next thing I know, I was lying on the floor somehow! But this is what happened:

I put the noose over my head, sat with folded legs, hunched over and closed my eyes. I felt a rising pressure on my head and a wave of calmness over my body before I gave in. When I lost consciousness my body subtly dangled on the rope left and right, as I can see on the video, and then the thrashing happened. My eyes rolled up as if I was possessed and my body fell over while the noose unforgivingly gripped my thrashing body by the neck. I slammed my hand on the floor, my head on the wall (which was loud), my legs collapsed and hit the floor, now I was lying on the floor, my head hit the floor hard, my limbs were shaking. I felt none of this, instead I stood up disoriented and confused, I shortly could think clearly again and thought ''How did my body end up on the floor?''

The rolling eyes and my body spazzing out made me seem possessed. So that was a really interesting experience, I hope to be closer to death next time! (or dead, if I'm really optimistic).
The thrashing is very normal and from hangings I've watched online it means you were very close
 
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ExitiumVitae

ExitiumVitae

Member
Dec 14, 2021
50
The thrashing is very normal and from hangings I've watched online it means you were very close
That is very motivating, thank you :) My biggest obstacle was losing consciousness at first, but the biggest obstacle right now is thrashing about to my death. It's hard keeping the noose tight while your body is going all over the place, but this will be the final obstacle that I will have to worry about.
 
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LeapOfFaith

LeapOfFaith

Member
Jul 16, 2020
80
That is very motivating, thank you :) My biggest obstacle was losing consciousness at first, but the biggest obstacle right now is thrashing about to my death. It's hard keeping the noose tight while your body is going all over the place, but this will be the final obstacle that I will have to worry about.
Which kind of anchor point did you use? Did you use a slipknot? Thanks for sharing! :hug:
 
ExitiumVitae

ExitiumVitae

Member
Dec 14, 2021
50
Which kind of anchor point did you use? Did you use a slipknot? Thanks for sharing! :hug:
I used the thermostat of the radiator in my room, it's high enough where I can kneel under it and incredibly strong. And I used this:
Noose
In my experience this has worked better for me than the typical slip knot and it also tightens under pressure.
 
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LeapOfFaith

LeapOfFaith

Member
Jul 16, 2020
80
I used the thermostat of the radiator in my room, it's high enough where I can kneel under it and incredibly strong. And I used this:
View attachment 85156
In my experience this has worked better for me than the typical slip knot and it also tightens under pressure.
Oh thanks for the graphics!

I am going to try this one out later this week. To see if I like it better than the slipknot. It's actually surprisingly hard to find a good rigid anchor point in my home. And I do not like the idea of the wardrobe bar, I have seen to many failures with those. Otherwise Ima pay a visit to the woods soon. But I do not wanna be found.. It's a dilemma. :halo:
 
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Samsal112

Samsal112

Student
Dec 20, 2021
179
Excuse my ignorance, but how did it fail and you end up on the floor? I missed that part.
 
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-FrozenRobot-

-FrozenRobot-

Let me go...please
Jul 27, 2021
218
How long does it take before brain damage occur? I wanna use this method as well but I am scared that if I fail I would became a vegetable. How long were you out for? The trashing and the eyes upward is a thing called syncope search for it.
Three. If you're lucky, ten.
 
forgotten15

forgotten15

Specialist
Aug 24, 2021
332
It's absolutely horrible in ny opinion. Before finding sn this was the only method I could use, but I am glad now I won't have to. Thank for posting this, very good to know what's going on in the process.
 
L

lastlife_

Member
Nov 15, 2021
90
Excuse my ignorance, but how did it fail and you end up on the floor? I missed that part.
I'm also curious of this. ^ Did your anchor break? Did your ligature snap or come loose? How exactly did you end up on the floor?
 
albino_elk

albino_elk

im infj with bpd=dysfunctional trash
Aug 25, 2020
233
ehat about third person thingy. can u explain more
 
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LeapOfFaith

LeapOfFaith

Member
Jul 16, 2020
80
ehat about third person thingy. can u explain more

It's called Illeism in literature. When you see yourself from another persons perspective (i.e point-of-view) it's called third person perspective. Compare First Person Shooter (FPS) games for instance with Third Person Shooter (TPS).

In writing:
First person = I, We
Second person = You
Third Person = He, She, It, They

Second person perspective is when you see yourself from another persons own point of view, which is impossible (There are some games though that are trying this concept out).

Since ExitiumVitae lost consciousness he could not experience it in first person. But the camera could capture the experience for him instead. That way he could witness himself on a recording, which means he experienced it from a third point of view perspective.

Another example of the use of third person in writing could be If I am referring to myself in this way, "GoneSoon23 thinks that this explanation has gone a bit to far". I am speaking about myself in third person.

Main qimg 3cf5c460a7e5033e47e53be2d3d7bf38 lq 2

Writers use first second and third person in
 
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ExitiumVitae

ExitiumVitae

Member
Dec 14, 2021
50
Excuse my ignorance, but how did it fail and you end up on the floor? I missed that part.
I'm also curious of this. ^ Did your anchor break? Did your ligature snap or come loose? How exactly did you end up on the floor?
I gravely underestimated how much your body would move, when talking about thrashing I was expecting convulsions because I have never gotten this far. My original position was folded legs sitting on the floor and leaning forward tied to the fitting of a radiator. When my body fell over the rope slung my body from south to east in a circle until my head hit the wall, from having my back vertically up to sliding them across the floor so my upper body is in the lying down position, when my head hit the wall, my legs went from folded to stretched out and on the floor. Now my whole body is on a lying position on the floor.

My next approach is to make the length of the rope between the knot on the ligature point and the noose as short as possible so there is not such a wide range and space for my body to move around from the ligature point. And perhaps find a higher ligature point so my body wouldn't have to be so close to the floor.
 
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albino_elk

albino_elk

im infj with bpd=dysfunctional trash
Aug 25, 2020
233
oh i know this . i mean i was wondering about the experience in 3rd person,how did you managed to see yourself in that position, how did it felt to you,like you popped out of body ?smth

i would go with full hanging not partial, partial too risky in my eyes
 
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ExitiumVitae

ExitiumVitae

Member
Dec 14, 2021
50
oh i know this . i mean i was wondering about the experience in 3rd person,how did you managed to see yourself in that position, how did it felt to you,like you popped out of body ?smth
I put my phone on a chair and filmed my suicide attempt so I can look at myself and review what I did wrong.
 
albino_elk

albino_elk

im infj with bpd=dysfunctional trash
Aug 25, 2020
233
damn i thought you saw yourself in 3rd without camera,sorry mb
 
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LADY007

LADY007

Specialist
Feb 25, 2020
373
Hello internet!
I put my phone on a chair and filmed my suicide attempt so I can review what I did wrong and perfect my method for the next time. I won't show it to anyone, so you don't get to see it :P Two things: 1. I have never gotten this far! 2. I looked stupid as hell. All I could remember was losing consciousness and the next thing I know, I was lying on the floor somehow! But this is what happened:

I put the noose over my head, sat with folded legs, hunched over and closed my eyes. I felt a rising pressure on my head and a wave of calmness over my body before I gave in. When I lost consciousness my body subtly dangled on the rope left and right, as I can see on the video, and then the thrashing happened. My eyes rolled up as if I was possessed and my body fell over while the noose unforgivingly gripped my thrashing body by the neck. I slammed my hand on the floor, my head on the wall (which was loud), my legs collapsed and hit the floor, now I was lying on the floor, my head hit the floor hard, my limbs were shaking. I felt none of this, instead I stood up disoriented and confused, I shortly could think clearly again and thought ''How did my body end up on the floor?''

The rolling eyes and my body spazzing out made me seem possessed. So that was a really interesting experience, I hope to be closer to death next time! (or dead, if I'm really optimistic).
Thanks for describing this. Any experience told to us helps us understand what to do.
 

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