Sanctioned Homicide (black humour)

[Pluto]

Warning: this is a parody of our beloved forum for those of us who use black humour to cope with the insanity and absurdity of life. Please do not read if this is a trigger or offensive, and please do not ever think of seriously harming anyone else. For therapeutic laughter only.







Hi everyone. I'm excited to announce that I've finally completed my new forum, Sanctioned-Homicide.org. The purpose of this forum is to give free expression to homicidal people who are otherwise censored and shamed by society.

Homicide has always been completely natural to humanity and our very nervous systems are wired for it. It is also natural throughout the animal kingdom not to mention billions of years of evolutionary history. Only in our modern era of stifling religious and cultural hegemony have we been forced to live in unnatural ways that suppress our primal urges. Our community offers a safe and understanding space for open discussion of homicide without being guilt-tripped by neurotypicals or preached to by normies.

We do not judge people's reasons for committing homicide, but common reasons vary. Some people choose homicide as vengeance for one or more people who brought them ruin; this is both a healthy expression of their rage and also a great means of preventing those parties from going on to ruin others. Other members of our community are neurodivergent and know that suppressing natural homicidal urges is virtually impossible, yet worsened by the murder-shaming that is rampant in our society. They are overjoyed to be connected with like-minded others.

We believe in ethical homicide and strictly ban discussions of methods that are not reasonably quick and painless for the victim. If only the same could be said for mainstream society, which makes people suffer for decades before slowly dying of natural causes.

Here is a sample of some current hot topics being discussed on the forum to whet your appetite.


Homicide Discussion
- Cheap and easy method to kill my dad?
- How to make it look like an accident?
- Yet another do-gooder petition trying to ban our community
- Fuming! Abused and invalidated by colleague for talking about homicide plans


Mass Murder Subforum
- Trying to source nitrogen fertilizer
- Help! Mom found my AR-15 and school shooting manifesto
- Industrial quantities of SN in local drinking water supply? Would it work?
- Revenge after losing job - need method to maximize body count
- My story: I failed an aircraft hijacking and got abused by the FBI


Serial Killer Subforum
- Best place to hide body?
- Who's your favourite serial killer of all time?
- Feeling guilty about not feeling guilty after latest murder. Anyone relate?


Off Topic
- Dumb normies be like "murder bad" even though everyone will die anyway?
- Why are most murders committed by men?
- Opinion: homicide prevents decades of suffering
- Since we all must die eventually, is procreation a kind of homicide?

So please join our community and log in to Sanctioned-Homicide.org today!

 

[Ginnn]

Looks like a friendly and welcoming community

 

[Forever Sleep]

Billy Connolly's answer to world hunger and over population: Cannibalism: 'You could eat somebody I don't like, I'll eat somebody you don't like...The problem would be halved overnight.'

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

Jokes aside, @Pluto, you should seriously consider a career in satirical writing. You are so good at this!

 

[Un-]

Time to break Bundy's record!!

 

[bubo]

I think if you were a salesman you'd be very good at it cuz' this made me think it was a actually good idea when i read the first paragraph lol

 

[makethepainstop]

Well if we are gonna murder their asses, could we Rob and rape them too? Asking for a friend here!

 

[jodes2]

New post: how many people could I hang with a single rope?

 

[makethepainstop]

Not enough! Signed Kid in original post whose mom found his manifesto and AK 47.

 

[toomuchtimetodie]

Nice one.
George Carlin had a bit "people who outta be killed"
I will be on that list and have no interest in protesting my right to this beautiful life.
Sadly I'm so jaded even if your forum appeared I would soon think what is this person trying to sell me? Who is the think tank behind this.
I doubt murder ever hurt anyone more than life.
The slow torture of untreated disease is the real violence, not some guy going to a rally with an automatic weapon."

Well if we are gonna murder their asses, could we Rob and rape them too? Asking for a friend here!

Carl Panzram?

 

[makethepainstop]

Nice one.
George Carlin had a bit "people who outta be killed"
I will be on that list and have no interest in protesting my right to this beautiful life.
Sadly I'm so jaded even if your forum appeared I would soon think what is this person trying to sell me? Who is the think tank behind this.
I doubt murder ever hurt anyone more than life.
The slow torture of untreated disease is the real violence, not some guy going to a rally with an automatic weapon."

Carl Panzram?

Carl who?

 

[toomuchtimetodie]

Carl who?

Sorry just rang a bell ,
He was a very interesting human being, murderer, who's motto was "Rob em all, rspe em all, and kill em all". He's really worth a read to people interested in psychology/sociology he was spot on about the injustice and corruption of the prison system nearly a hundred years ago.

 

[Exact Change]

I'm ready to sign on

 

[Ultracheese]

I wonder what the recovery forum on there looks like

 

[CuteThing]

what the fuck

I wonder what the recovery forum on there looks like

recently got killed, think im actually getting a little more alive!

 

[H.O.Xan]

no the recovery in there should b from the afterlife

 

[leloyon]

*looks across room at bags of fertiliser* Hahaha… who would need a forum like that? What a bunch of weirdos, a-amirite?? H-haha..ha…
(Disclaimer: for anyone reading this is a joke and I do not actually own any sort of fertiliser in real life for I am not a farmer, this post also does not explicitly state any form of illegal activity and any implications of such seen by the reader are their interpretation of my post and not intended by me)

 

[Silent_cries]

We need a dark humor section on ss! Although maybe make it private to keep the media from freaking out lol.

 

[Yarani]

Did anyone else think of the subforum Victim Marketplace?
Like, where people can go to ask to be murdered. Two birds with one stone.