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Paragon
Apr 25, 2020
997
So sick of banging my head on the same wall again and again. Sick of the same arguments with people out loud and in my head. I just want it all to shut up.

And now the drugs don't work any more. I would eat rat poison now if I had it, the pain would be worth the silence after
 
TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Illuminated
Aug 27, 2018
3,080
the pain would be worth the silence after
This is the truth for basically all methods even the people we see on video using full suspension hanging and suffer for several minutes but tbh what is a few minutes of suffering compared to a lifetime (maybe even 60+ years of suffering.

I think about temple headshot and know there shouldn´t be pain from tons of research but there is still that little voice that says "what if" but even so it would be only a couple minutes suffering if I don´t go unconcious compared to a lifetime of suffering.
 
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Paragon
Apr 25, 2020
997
Yeah it's so weird to fear a short time if pain, after having a lifetime of it. What's a little bit more
 
TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Illuminated
Aug 27, 2018
3,080
Yeah it's so weird to fear a short time if pain, after having a lifetime of it. What's a little bit more
Yeah the pain might peak a lot but for a very short time would be interesting to see a graph of the pain of suicide vs duration of a lifetime of suffering.
 
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KiraLittleOwl

Lost in transition
Jan 25, 2019
1,083
I am sorry you suffering so cruelly.
I am tired also of the thoughts that never stop torturing me
 
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Paragon
Apr 25, 2020
997
It doesn't even stop when I sleep now, if sleep comes at all. Sorry you have the same
 
K

KiraLittleOwl

Lost in transition
Jan 25, 2019
1,083
It doesn't even stop when I sleep now, if sleep comes at all. Sorry you have the same
My dreams mostly revolve around traumatic experiences, so the same
 
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Paragon
Apr 25, 2020
997
Same here, it's like nightmares except they're not they're as real as day
 
K

KiraLittleOwl

Lost in transition
Jan 25, 2019
1,083
Do you feel punished? I don't think I deserve this but I feel like being punished for something.
 
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Paragon
Apr 25, 2020
997
Yeah I do, but I feel punished both by life and by myself. I feel like everything I ever did wrong has come back to haunt me. Nothing major, but all at once it's a lot of little things from missguided youth. So my only way to cope is punish myself more
 

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