Safety plan feels like bullshit

[zeldalover]

I went to an intake appointment at a mental health hospital near me and I tried. I tried more than I thought I would. I was surprised I told her how I've been intentionally overdosing every day for the last two weeks on any medication I could - not actively thinking that it was going to kill me but to me it was almost like practice overdosing every day. The only thing I kind of underplayed was that I have a solidified method, and instead said that I've been thinking on methods but haven't settled on any yet. She asked me if I thought I needed inpatient and I honestly said "not today but I can't promise that throughout the next few days that I won't do anything impulsive". And I'm still not in inpatient, honestly thank god. But she did create a safety plan, and it feels like actual bullshit. It's not going to stop me from being impulsive when I am. When I'm in the moment and taking the pills I'm taking, I don't take a beat or a breath. I just say fuck it and take them. Literally as soon as I got home I was struggling not to take any already. It just feels like this is a thing therapists do so they don't blame themselves when their patient inevitably CTBs.

 

[CuriosityAndCat]

What is a safety plan?

 

[marigold]

What is a safety plan?

when you present to a hospital with suicidal ideation but you aren't held or admitted, mental health professionals are obliged to go through a plan of how to keep yourself safe when dealing with suicidal ideation after discharge, like coping mechanisms, distractions, people to contact, etc.

 

[nozomu]

I feel it, I've never been able to make a useful or helpful one...Honestly I have no one in my life who I can contact if I'm in a suicidal crisis. Literally no one. :l

I feel like the system fails to consider that people like me exist... Who are, for the most part, isolated. It's not even that I'd want to be this isolated, it's just that...no one really cares about those around them anymore? Like genuinely, they consider everyone's problems to be "someone else will help them with that." Which would be fine if it were actually true...but they all think it, and then no one ends up helping. Then when you tell the people who are supposed to care how isolated you are and how no one's supporting you in crisis... They basically treat you like "well have you considered not having a life in shambles?" As if it's your fault. Or the classic "do you have a therapist? Psychiatrist?" line when they're not substitute for social support and they are the ones who ask us to have these dumbass safety plans in the first place lol

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Because it is.

 

[gogoprince]

I hope you can find peace soon. It's difficult to feel like you need to keep up a charade to convince other people you'll be safe and it makes you alienated to the concept of the value of your own safety, you know? Because for you it becomes just about checking a box to please another person. No disrespect to the nurse, or therapist. I'm sure they're only doing what their job tells them, but it's just not like real.
That said, if you felt like you could make your own safety plan I would say do it. But we as suicidal people can't just let other people decide for us what it will take to keep us safe. We have to find our place in the world and say "That's where I belong so that's why I'm gonna stay here as long as I can". If your safety plan could help continually inform you of what's worth staying here for that would be something.

 

[lionshen9]

Problem with the safety plan is that it takes you/me to actually do it when we want to die. But if we want to die then we won't want to do the safety plan. I think we're supposed to memorize and focus on the safety plan in times when we are better so that when we're ready to die we can be already prepared to go through the safety plan. Seems like a lot of BS but maybe it helps 5%

 

[Anonymoususer1234]

I went to an intake appointment at a mental health hospital near me and I tried. I tried more than I thought I would. I was surprised I told her how I've been intentionally overdosing every day for the last two weeks on any medication I could - not actively thinking that it was going to kill me but to me it was almost like practice overdosing every day. The only thing I kind of underplayed was that I have a solidified method, and instead said that I've been thinking on methods but haven't settled on any yet. She asked me if I thought I needed inpatient and I honestly said "not today but I can't promise that throughout the next few days that I won't do anything impulsive". And I'm still not in inpatient, honestly thank god. But she did create a safety plan, and it feels like actual bullshit. It's not going to stop me from being impulsive when I am. When I'm in the moment and taking the pills I'm taking, I don't take a beat or a breath. I just say fuck it and take them. Literally as soon as I got home I was struggling not to take any already. It just feels like this is a thing therapists do so they don't blame themselves when their patient inevitably CTBs.

Safety plans only work for people who have either:

1. Extremely good self awareness, impulse control and some genuine desire to live (or a strong fear of death, maybe)

2. A good support system that will hold them accountable.

I find that many therapists bank on their patients having (or being able to easily obtain those things). They don't seem to realize that life is more complicated than that for most of us.

I don't think it's about soothing a guilty conscience. I think it's more about failing to meet people where they're at.

But I could be wrong.

 

[Pallf]

I don't even remember what's in my safety plan, it's been so long. My safety plan now is to either use a crisis chat or just browse on here for awhile. I don't know why, but this place stabilizes me.

 

[zeldalover]

I feel it, I've never been able to make a useful or helpful one...Honestly I have no one in my life who I can contact if I'm in a suicidal crisis. Literally no one. :l

I feel like the system fails to consider that people like me exist... Who are, for the most part, isolated. It's not even that I'd want to be this isolated, it's just that...no one really cares about those around them anymore? Like genuinely, they consider everyone's problems to be "someone else will help them with that." Which would be fine if it were actually true...but they all think it, and then no one ends up helping. Then when you tell the people who are supposed to care how isolated you are and how no one's supporting you in crisis... They basically treat you like "well have you considered not having a life in shambles?" As if it's your fault. Or the classic "do you have a therapist? Psychiatrist?" line when they're not substitute for social support and they are the ones who ask us to have these dumbass safety plans in the first place lol

Literally this is so true for me too. I was in a bad state last night and felt completely isolated, even though I had to list somebody for my "support system" (which is incredibly non-existent for me at least). I should have called the crisis line but I didn't feel safe enough to with my mom. I didn't attempt but I was so damn close to and I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know that it's even worth trying to recover for me or if it's just prolonging the inevitable.

I hope you can find peace soon. It's difficult to feel like you need to keep up a charade to convince other people you'll be safe and it makes you alienated to the concept of the value of your own safety, you know? Because for you it becomes just about checking a box to please another person. No disrespect to the nurse, or therapist. I'm sure they're only doing what their job tells them, but it's just not like real.
That said, if you felt like you could make your own safety plan I would say do it. But we as suicidal people can't just let other people decide for us what it will take to keep us safe. We have to find our place in the world and say "That's where I belong so that's why I'm gonna stay here as long as I can". If your safety plan could help continually inform you of what's worth staying here for that would be something.

It truly sucks because logically I know I have reasons to need to stay around. But I guess that's the problem is that I need to for other people, not that I want to. I truly don't know if recovery is possible for me, and I had finally a good day the other day and thought maybe I could try and then last night happened and I feel so incredibly broken beyond repair.

I don't even remember what's in my safety plan, it's been so long. My safety plan now is to either use a crisis chat or just browse on here for awhile. I don't know why, but this place stabilizes me.

Usually this place does too - I will say last night I didn't really give much a shot though either. This place helps me so much in my daily living and not feeling so alone, and I'm so thankful it exists.

 

[nozomu]

Literally this is so true for me too. I was in a bad state last night and felt completely isolated, even though I had to list somebody for my "support system" (which is incredibly non-existent for me at least). I should have called the crisis line but I didn't feel safe enough to with my mom. I didn't attempt but I was so damn close to and I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know that it's even worth trying to recover for me or if it's just prolonging the inevitable.

It truly sucks because logically I know I have reasons to need to stay around. But I guess that's the problem is that I need to for other people, not that I want to. I truly don't know if recovery is possible for me, and I had finally a good day the other day and thought maybe I could try and then last night happened and I feel so incredibly broken beyond repair.

Usually this place does too - I will say last night I didn't really give much a shot though either. This place helps me so much in my daily living and not feeling so alone, and I'm so thankful it exists.

Even if recovery seems impossible, we must honor that will to live as long as we can.

We're here for you, for what it's worth. This is your community and we understand you.

 

[Cloud Busting]

I'm completely convinced that safety plans are a liability measure and nothing more.

When I am in a crisis (i.e. active suicidal ideation) I am certain suicide is my only way out and what I deserve. Sometimes I snap out of this, and other times I reach the point of attempting or near attempting (boycotted attempt.) All I can tell you is I am not in the state of mind to really follow the plan at that point.

I hate when professionals ask you to list family and friends to help you in a suicidal crisis, and when you say you don't have any, they look at you like you have two heads. Do they not realize that most people's friends, family, and romantic partners don't know how to handle their loved ones during a crisis? Hell, even I find it exhausting to support suicidal people, despite dealing with ideation myself.

I personally find an unbiased third party to be a better alternative. I have this place, some discord servers, a few friends I've made in this community, and one crisis text line I am comfortable with that I can reach out to. That has been helpful. However those in my personal life will never be on the list, and I don't understand why that's a bad thing. They're not equipped to deal with me, you know? People try to cover this up for some reason. IDGI

What I am working on is identifying warning signs once they occur (I don't always recognize when this is happening) and developing a plan I can implement to prevent another relapse or crisis. No professional suggested I do this. It's my own plan. However I am going to ask my therapist to help me create a plan or possibly peer-review it.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I'm completely convinced that safety plans are a liability measure and nothing more.

Avoiding liability is the main motivation for all suicide prevention. Which is fine because they should be able to protect their livelihoods. But they should at least be honest with us (all the while demanding the same honesty from us) as to what their motivations are instead of them couching them in some faux altruism.

 

[ArteriesBindEveryon]

when you present to a hospital with suicidal ideation but you aren't held or admitted, mental health professionals are obliged to go through a plan of how to keep yourself safe when dealing with suicidal ideation after discharge, like coping mechanisms, distractions, people to contact, etc.

>keep yourself safe
>kys
Heh

 

[Cloud Busting]

Avoiding liability is the main motivation for all suicide prevention. Which is fine because they should be able to protect their livelihoods. But they should at least be honest with us (all the while demanding the same honesty from us) as to what their motivations are instead of them couching them in some faux altruism.

I feel the same way about anti-depressants. Please admit that the "chemical imbalance" theory is bs, and that you don't know how the drugs work.

Let's be real. They are coached to say this shit to get a nice check from the pharmaceutical companies so more people will take them, because people wouldn't be taking them as often if they knew the truth.