Discussion Sadness

[Fadeawaaaay]

For almost a year I have been entirely numb and enshrouded in a fog … but now a deep sadness has come over me as I survey the ruins and mourn a life wasted.

Had I found my footing, I could have been happy and fulfilled. But I never did. I could never handle responsibilities or navigate adulthood with any consistent sanity and common sense. I never built a proper foundation. This was a house of cards headed for collapse.

Life could have been wonderful. Instead it has been little more then survival.

 

[CommitSudoku]

When you said "had I found my footing," do you look back and see somewhere specific you believe things could have been changed for the better if something was done differently? Just curious. I relate a lot to what you wrote. This week I'm really grappling with what I should do, be it try to leave or try to make a plan to keep going and see if anything can be worth it. I'm really sorry things haven't gone well for you. It can really hurt to look back and see it all going downhill and wishing it didn't go that way, I imagine coming out of the fog and being hit with that fully is hard to deal with. Best wishes whatever you do, I'm sorry you're suffering so much and feel your life has been wasted.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

When you said "had I found my footing," do you look back and see somewhere specific you believe things could have been changed for the better if something was done differently? Just curious. I relate a lot to what you wrote. This week I'm really grappling with what I should do, be it try to leave or try to make a plan to keep going and see if anything can be worth it. I'm really sorry things haven't gone well for you. It can really hurt to look back and see it all going downhill and wishing it didn't go that way, I imagine coming out of the fog and being hit with that fully is hard to deal with. Best wishes whatever you do, I'm sorry you're suffering so much and feel your life has been wasted.

You're very kind to offer these words.
There's lots of things I could've done differently but I was often in too much of a hurry. And I did not calmly and soberly seek advice. I wanted to keep an appearance of confidence and "success" but ended up drinking my own kool aid.
Surviving on the ruins is torturous but doable. Leaving is another level of magnitude. IMO.
I hope you can find inspiration. With purpose and inspiration (along with opportunity and health), a fulfilling life is possible (I imagine). Hope you can find your way there.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that life turned out this way for you, this life really can be so depressing and disappointing. It is sad how much people suffer. I wish you the best in whatever happens and I hope you find relief from your pain.