As the title says I've ruined My life, was on TRT for low Testosterone last year I decided to up the dose to a low gym cycle as other people kept telling me too as the small dose I was on was a joke so I did for about 3-4 months and stopped mid October.
Come late November I start getting issues peeing having bad health anxiety, I think its an enlarge prostate start getting panic attacks self guilt etc.. now I wish it was an enlarge prostate. I've fucked my kidneys up and I just want out.
I've had low moods before but this is a new low, had cancer as a kid and 90% sure I've got PTSD from that for health issues I don't know how bad the damage is had bloods in December that where 80GFR but symptoms have just gotten worse and I went to A&E in Jan and it went down to 74 which is not good but not too bad but since then my symptoms have just gotten alot worse and I'm convinced its bad.
I already suffered from chronic pain and was just keeping my head above water before this and this has destroyed me, I still live with my parents in my 30s and they offer no support just tell me to help myself and to stop acting like this etc.. meanwhile I'm a mess its clear i cant handle it and they just act like everything is fine.
The anxiety and depression is just so bad I want to sleep and never wake up but want it to be painless as possible if I do CTB. I'm in the UK so pretty much no mental health help I just hope I can still get my hands on something like SN when the time comes.
Sorry for the grammar I'm dyslexic.
I still can't get over the fact my family don't care, my mother asked me if I was suicidal the other day and I said yes for the first time and that was that nothing was said or done about it.
Come late November I start getting issues peeing having bad health anxiety, I think its an enlarge prostate start getting panic attacks self guilt etc.. now I wish it was an enlarge prostate. I've fucked my kidneys up and I just want out.
I've had low moods before but this is a new low, had cancer as a kid and 90% sure I've got PTSD from that for health issues I don't know how bad the damage is had bloods in December that where 80GFR but symptoms have just gotten worse and I went to A&E in Jan and it went down to 74 which is not good but not too bad but since then my symptoms have just gotten alot worse and I'm convinced its bad.
I already suffered from chronic pain and was just keeping my head above water before this and this has destroyed me, I still live with my parents in my 30s and they offer no support just tell me to help myself and to stop acting like this etc.. meanwhile I'm a mess its clear i cant handle it and they just act like everything is fine.
The anxiety and depression is just so bad I want to sleep and never wake up but want it to be painless as possible if I do CTB. I'm in the UK so pretty much no mental health help I just hope I can still get my hands on something like SN when the time comes.
Sorry for the grammar I'm dyslexic.
I still can't get over the fact my family don't care, my mother asked me if I was suicidal the other day and I said yes for the first time and that was that nothing was said or done about it.
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