Responding to other’s posts on this forum

[-nobodyknows-]

I spend a good amount of time here reading people's posts. A lot of the time, I want to say something, but I don't want it to come off the wrong way. Hearing about how others are suffering… I want to tell them that it's not their fault, that I hope something changes in their lives so that they can feel better. But I don't want to seem dismissive, or like I'm just posting to post, so I usually just dont post anything. I feel kind of conflicted about that.

Has anyone else experienced this? How have you gotten around it? Do you have any tips?

 

[_D_]

Just say what you want to say, it will be alright.

 

[MercenariesofMidgar]

I spend a good amount of time here reading people's posts. A lot of the time, I want to say something, but I don't want it to come off the wrong way. Hearing about how others are suffering… I want to tell them that it's not their fault, that I hope something changes in their lives so that they can feel better. But I don't want to seem dismissive, or like I'm just posting to post, so I usually just dont post anything. I feel kind of conflicted about that.

Has anyone else experienced this? How have you gotten around it? Do you have any tips?

I feel that... get really sad hearing life stories and I just wish I could make it so they find happiness in life. But a lot of people here are too hurt to feel like they could ever recover :(

 

[whywere]

I try my very hardest to help the person have a smile, tell them that they are among so many friends here and that this site is full of folks with love.

Also, that they never ever should be hard om themselves as life always sems to throw curves and that they are strong, and loving souls with the community here to listen and help.

Walter

 

[NitrogenAfternoon]

I had the same worry you did, especially after joining this site recently and reading the forum rules. I was always so worried to offend someone, break a rule, or be afraid my messages may be misunderstood, but at the end of the day just do what you feel is right and don't get too caught up in it. This forum is a time where we shouldn't feel all that anxiousness that plagues us in reality. We're here to support each other, help out anyway we can, and find our peace. If you feel providing positive reinforcement will achieve that for someone, then don't hold back in doing so.

 

[Achromatix]

I was just feeling this way. I feel like no matter what I might comment it might come across as me either persuading or dissuading someone to think a way. It's hard to explain. But I feel this. Even down to the thought of "if I comment this, it might sound like I know what they're going through and I'm not them" so I continue just reading. Until now I guess, heh. Hi.

 

[Jisatsu]

I have experience with a lot of these issues others discuss on here and have seen many issues in others but yeah I get nervous because some people may take what I say the wrong way .

 

[callousedhope]

i feel like ppl are just really deeply needing to be heard -- i think any confirmation of that would help, even if a little bit -- i know i feel that way in some ways.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I try to force myself to post as this really is most of my social interaction. Of course it's much easier when I really relate to a post.

I am always scared of saying the wrong thing and will replay things I have written in my head for hours…. Partly my ocd. I also feel bad because I suck at giving advice. I don't know how to handle my problems. I sure as hell don't know how to handle others.

And personally, I love to laugh. I can be sarcastic maybe some people would consider me funny. But my first instinct is to always make some little joke. Which, of course I am terrified to do because some people here like to laugh, despite the circumstances and some are so horrible That I understand they can't see the humor in anything.

I also tend to feel that when I really give details in a post and really do sympathize and can share my own opinions, most of the time I don't feel like I get many reactions. So that has caused me to lately Be really obsessed with the fact that I don't feel like I have made any close connections here.

I don't know about you, but I have members on here I love for whatever reason, but I am jealous of how many members make such deep connections. Ultimately that's not gonna happen if you want it to without posting.

 

[webb&flow]

I spend a good amount of time here reading people's posts. A lot of the time, I want to say something, but I don't want it to come off the wrong way. Hearing about how others are suffering… I want to tell them that it's not their fault, that I hope something changes in their lives so that they can feel better. But I don't want to seem dismissive, or like I'm just posting to post, so I usually just dont post anything. I feel kind of conflicted about that.

Has anyone else experienced this? How have you gotten around it? Do you have any tips?

Many thanks for this thread, my friend. It is a profound question indeed; thank you for asking it. I really do hope to give a more verbrose answer to it in the future—this is the kind of thing I could write an entire essay on, really! I know you might just be posting about your own thoughts and wonders of this; but it's a precise inquiry, by nature.

Seeing some common sentiments of this thread... I will touch upon merely this, for this moment.

If you can understand even a piece, even one word or sunray of what someone else is experiencing—then you do truly know that. Maybe you do not know 100% of them 100%, but maybe you understand 1% of them 100%, if that makes sense. [reworded; you don't know all of them fully, but you do know some of them fully; at least accurately enough to be personally feeling when commenting.)

We are all human beings. It's almost unavoidable for us to feel the same feelings or even experience similar experiences! So, it's alright to comment on other's experiences—for if you have known one moment of theirs; that is a moment shared—and a moment understood can sometimes feel like an eternity embraced. So if you even have a single moment, a thought—please do share it; for it is real, despite one's tendency to doubt themself.

...

But even the most impersonal of well wishes, can sometimes be a soft hand on the shoulder of someone in need—even if they still feel as confused as before, perhaps even an eye of comfort or acknowledge can at least be a bit of soft rain on hard wounds. I hope we are all at least able to feel touches of healing through understanding; of our own, and of others.