Discussion Responding to Future Invites

[madwoman]

I am a shy socially anxious introvert so saying yes to a big event is not always easy but with how suicidal I am, it's even harder. As the days go on, I've been trying not to make much future plans and being noncommittal and kind of living a week at a time. I just got invited to a Christmas party already and I don't know how I'm going to feel then with my situation worsening or if I'll even be here. And I hate making commitments bc they also lead to reasons to stay… but I hate not answering people either. I've been trying to be honest with people how I am mentally (depressed, not mentioned suicidality) and may be able to answer depending on what it is and when and some things are easier than others. I mean, I'm sure some people don't think about it like I do and say yes and then don't care if they cancel later. I mean if I'm dead that's a pretty good excuse for not going but I just don't know how to answer. I don't know how to give a nice non committal answer. Any thoughts?

 

[TBONTB]

Let's just go with the scenario of you not knowing how you will feel when an event comes close. I have done this in the past. I've just acknowledged that social events can be hard for me, even though I love them. It's hard to know far in advance. So I say "when would you like an answer, is this the kind of thing where I can let you know close to the event?" Then I just give them an answer according to their schedule. This helps a little because it's honest.

 

[madwoman]

Let's just go with the scenario of you not knowing how you will feel when an event comes close. I have done this in the past. I've just acknowledged that social events can be hard for me, even though I love them. It's hard to know far in advance. So I say "when would you like an answer, is this the kind of thing where I can let you know close to the event?" Then I just give them an answer according to their schedule. This helps a little because it's honest.

I kind of did that actually. I ended up asking if it was okay for me being a maybe and that I can't tell her until much closer to the event and opened up a bit about my mental health and she was kind about it! Not even sure if I'll still be here by then lol thanks for your response :)

 

[loglady]

I very much recognize myself in this situation. Pretty much agree with @TBONTB answer.
Also, out of subject but I see you're a person of taste (folklore is my favorite Taylor's album)

 

[madwoman]

I very much recognize myself in this situation. Pretty much agree with @TBONTB answer.
Also, out of subject but I see you're a person of taste (folklore is my favorite Taylor's album)

Yeah it'll be my excuse for any far out invite. Can only manage within like a week window.

& yes mine too! It actually helped me during a mental breakdown in 2020. I love her music and currently loving TLOAS. It actually makes me glad that she's seems happy and found her person so I know she's going to be okay. As parasocial as that sounds lol. She's just my fave artist!