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sadgirlallonherownn
Member
- Sep 28, 2025
- 42
My sn and meto arrived a few days ago and it feels really nice to just have the option to be able to end it at any time, sometimes i just take out my sn and look at it and it makes me feel so much relief, like I wont ctb until a few days, still got some more things to sort out but knowing "I can get out of this hellhole of a life at any time I want" is just such a comforting and relieving feeling, if everything goes to shit I wont have to wait, I can just go whenever I want, even if its not my intended day of ctb and it makes me really happy, the only time I felt true happiness ever since I was clinically dead for 58 seconds back in may during my last od attempt, it feels good to be able to have the option and Im so happy about it, I can finally find peace from this torturous existence, from all this pain. It honestly is a weird feeling, knowing that I can die at any moment, kinda melancholic but also really happy? Idk how to describe it, its just such a pure feeling relief