Discussion Relationships while planning to CTB.

[evannave]

Are you in a relationship or seeking to be in one? If so, does your partner know that you are planning to CTB? If you are not in a relationship, would you still plan to CTB if you got a partner? Do you believe it is selfish to want to CTB without your partner knowing/having any input?

 

[Abyssal]

Nah ssris left me affectionately dead . I only ever wanted one to fit in and know I was worthy though

 

[Forveleth]

My partner is half the reason I want to ctb. I've been very open with him about the fact that I'm suicidal and he hasn't really done anything about it. I guess he won't care until he comes home one day and finds my corpse.

 

[Red Moon]

Not in a relationship and I'm 50/50 on seeking one because while I would like to go on dates, have sex and intimacy, I also like my freedom, alone time and isolation.

I don't think I will though because I'm going to be dying in the near future.

 

[Sarros]

I told my partner at the time that I had thoughts of cbting. They got pretty emotional about it, when they're usually pretty cold, and I felt like shit cuz I didn't really care. And that I would still want to cbt despite that. And that I wanted to before I was with them.

I'm over the fact that I will be missed and I will hurt people. By staying, or going. So as cruel as it sounds, while I'm still here, I'm going to keep meeting new people and foster my friendships, and inevitably, they will all hurt from having known me.

 

[willitpass]

I'm not in a relationship or looking for one. As much as it would be nice, I know it's incredibly selfish for me to do that to someone knowing I'll be gone soon. It's one thing to be in a relationship and become suicidal, but to seek one out when you don't plan to be here much longer is setting someone up for unimaginable hurt.

 

[Red Moon]

I'm not in a relationship or looking for one. As much as it would be nice, I know it's incredibly selfish for me to do that to someone knowing I'll be gone soon. It's one thing to be in a relationship and become suicidal, but to seek one out when you don't plan to be here much longer is setting someone up for unimaginable hurt.

That's why I said I don't think I will be looking for one because I'm going to be dying in the near future.

 

[CrownOfThorns]

I'm in a relationship and my partner is pretty much the only thing holding me back.
They don't know I want to ctb but I don't want them to come home to my cold body; and even though I could always find a way to ctb somewhere else without them knowing nor having any risk of being the one to find me, authorities would let them know eventually and they'd be very hurt, possibly to the point of cbt-ing as well despite currently having no desire to do it. I don't want to ruin their life in any way and even though they're technically responsible of their own ability to deal with difficult life events, I have the power to spare them from this one and I don't want to go feeling like anything that's gonna happen to them afterwards will be my faut.
It's a very frustrating situation where even though I love my partner, I feel like they represent some sort of weight preventing me from choosing freely how/if I want my life to go on. These days I actually regret getting into that relationship at all and it leaves me very bitter.

 

[LittleJem]

I kept asking my recent ex to kill me.

In general, I've decided I'm not fit for a relationship.

I ended one long-term relationship because of how suicidal I was…: I wish I could be that decisive about CTB. The recent one I ended when drunk and stoned. I wonder what combo will help me decide to ctb…