Help Relationship advice needed

[puella]

Today my girlfriend had a hard time at work. She didn't get home until nearly midnight, and she has been stressed. I was texting her the whole time she was at work, saying we could call after her shift and I would cheer her up and comfort her.

But I couldn't stop crying. I didn't get to do anything for her. She had to worry about me, and she sounded so exhausted. I'm too broken to not be a burden on people.

It was so much easier when I was living with her. She could hold me, she gave me snacks and called me her princess, I felt like I cheered her up just by existing.

I'm so far away now. She would be so much happier with someone else. She only wants to be with me because we are already together. Should we break up?

 

[takyon]

long distance is so hard ik how you feel. i dont think u should just give up on the relationship tho. i think u should communicate these feelings ur having (if u havent already). just try and take it one day at a time

 

[Starry2He]

Sending you love and hugs, i know how hard long distance can be.

I'm so far away now. She would be so much happier with someone else. She only wants to be with me because we are already together. Should we break up?

If that is TRULY the reason, it is not a very good one. But perhaps you could be jumping to conclusions on that?
Takyon is right about communicating those feelings you are having :) i hope everything turns out well for you Puella

 

[puella]

If that is TRULY the reason, it is not a very good one. But perhaps you could be jumping to conclusions on that?

I am. I have talked to her about it. She loves me, and that's why she wants to be with me. I just think the only reason she started loving me so much is because of us dating. Which is dumb to think about, I guess, because that's only natural. I just wish she found someone better than me.

 

[Starry2He]

I am. I have talked to her about it. She loves me, and that's why she wants to be with me. I just think the only reason she started loving me so much is because of us dating. Which is dumb to think about, I guess, because that's only natural. I just wish she found someone better than me.

I am so glad to hear that, and yes that is very natural :) love is complicated and weird and sometimes we can't help but love the person we love, even if we wish they could find someone better.

You are an amazing person and you deserve love and happiness

 

[obligatoryshackles]

Do you want to break up?

If not, I think this is her decision to make, not yours. Don't break up with someone assuming that they think you're a burden, that they would be better off with someone else. Don't fall into the trap of "I know what's best for you." That's the other person's choice to make. She chooses to be with you, to take on the burden that you think you are. I would say it would be best not to take away that choice from her.

But as an alternative perspective, could this relationship be a burden to you? Constantly stressing out about causing trouble and being a problem for someone else isn't healthy for you, either. Guilt weighs very heavily, especially so if you love this person. This is not to say that your girlfriend is a burden to you, but rather that the relationship itself and what you perceive to be the expectations you need to meet in this relationship are a heavy weight on your shoulders.

If that's the case, you could try to shift your perspective simply by, maybe just temporarily, having the relationship become a platonic one. A breakup, sure, but more to relieve yourself from the burdens of the expectations placed on a romantic partner than to separate from the other person. You can continue to be friends, maybe more than just friends, and see if things improve. And you always change things back at a moments notice, for example, if you move back in together.

Disclaimer - I don't have nearly enough experience in relationships nor enough information on your situation to offer anything beyond speculation here. Please don't blindly listen to what anyone says, especially me.

 

[Boudika]

A long-distance relationship is a huge burden, and I know because I'm in one myself. Is there a possibility that you will move to her within a year? Because I personally think it's not worth breaking up because of this, but I'd like to know the situation a little more broadly

 

[puella]

A long-distance relationship is a huge burden, and I know because I'm in one myself. Is there a possibility that you will move to her within a year? Because I personally think it's not worth breaking up because of this, but I'd like to know the situation a little more broadly

No, we can't be together. I had to move away from living with her so I could be safe and get medical care; it was one of the goals I needed to make work so I don't have to CTB. I'm over 1000 miles away now. And she can't move to me for her own reasons.

 

[Boudika]

No, we can't be together. I had to move away from living with her so I could be safe and get medical care; it was one of the goals I needed to make work so I don't have to CTB. I'm over 1000 miles away now. And she can't move to me for her own reasons.

In that case, the situation changes a lot. You need to talk to her whether in a year-2 years there is a possibility that you can live close to each other. If not then you really need to think about breaking up, because in such a situation you both only suffer

 

[Ε. Η. R.]

puella
I've never heard in my direction such warm and sweet words that your girlfriend said to you. Neither from a cis-girls, nor from a transgirls.
You know, I used to be very beautiful. With good pass. Earlier.
And despite this, I heard from ts-girls (and not only), such poisonous, cruel words as: man in skirt.

You still believe in love. You saw the warmth, kindness. Don't lose it. Don't leave the girl who loves you. Don't think about cbt. Try your best. You have someone and something to live for.

 

[puella]

I broke up with her. It's only my fault. I'm going through a bad mental health crisis, and I'm too unstable to be in a relationship. I'm desperate for attention; I want to be worried about. I don't act in ways that are healthy or logical when I'm overwhelmed.

Plus, it will be less painful to CTB if I'm single.