Venting Relapse

[KikoKiki]

I've been self harm clean for a few months. I haven't done it for myself but for the people around me. Maybe that is the reason the urges never actually went away, because I never actually wanted to stop. I feel this unbearable urge to slash away at my arm until I pass out. I don't want to disappoint, worry, or scare anyone but I think one day I'll think about myself. I'll think about the way I've suffered for all this time and finally give in to those thoughts. Maybe someone will understand why I did it.

 

[paintedbutterfly676]

I understand why you would do it. I never felt like I consciously stopped self harm, it just got too hard to hide. It could start up at any time. But I persist, and so can you

 

[Smelly_ballz]

I relapsed in SH last month and it has been so hard to stop. I was a few months clean. You're right that the urges never goes away. I don't want to stop, but I don't want others to find out. It is also kind of embarrassing. I had to show my arm to a doctor today (She wanted to see if they were healing ig) and I felt so embarrassed that I couldn't look in that direction. I'm afraid of being sent back to the hospital too.