Need something to zombie out daily till I die, please help.
Surviving on Kratom.
Cannabis ran its course into just causing more anxiety and depression and stopped helping my anhedonia, so taking a break.
Phenibut doesn't give me euphoria but do get some kinda restlessness at least up to 2.5g, I may try higher dose, because people make it sound fucking amazing--sucks for me I guess.
Benzos - Haven't tried other than very light natural stuff i.e. lemon balm, magnolia bark, those hardly do shit really and phenibut (gaba-B) doesn't seem to be too effective for me. also a bit scared of the addiction/withdrawal is just seems very unsustainable even though I'm sure it could help me zombie out. however benzos will definitely be a part of any death cocktail if I go that route
Alhocol - just pretty much done with it. hardly any euphoria any more. just horrible hangovers. still try to give it a go every month or two but not much there for me. I think it may still be workable if I go hard but I don't want to spend 50% of the time in nausea hangover migraine vomiting pain etc either
Psychs, Dissos - I'm already fucked up dissociated/derealized a lot of the time so can only handle so much psychs and dissos without just feeling like anxious in hell shit, and anhedonia mutes much euphoria anyway i.e. don't like music so it sucks anyway. Granted just have LSD analogues available now, not sure if doing DMT every day is a good idea. Haven't tried Ket I hear it has nasty side effects (physically) with daily use like bladder messed up is that true anybody know? Guess it won't matter if I am holed out constantly so that might be worth it, plus hearing in the news about a lot of people dying from it which is a plus.
I could try crazier stuff but salvia is hell, dxm not getting much out of it without crazy high dose, lsd takes me for negative time often, cannabis sometimes more trippy than the psychs so I might have fucked up mind to begin with.
When I've tried cocaine in the past like on 3-4 occasions didn't feel much at all really? I hear it's hard to get really good coke though.
Afraid of meth and crack and stuff, is it worth it?
Also can't cope with social anything, no social skills, even here I just feel like I'm talking to walls and constantly criticized and bad/stupid/shitty etc no self esteem.
Can anyone recommend drugs that are effective to just let days keep going by zombied out while rotting away waiting to die without too much tolerance or side effects? Too pussy to overcome SI yet it seems but unable and unwilling to live, it's fucking hell, also so traumatized from this life that worried about afterlife/hell because so many asshole anti-suiciders even the peaceful buddhists made up stories about horrible cosmic punishments for heading for the exit, so if I just stay in a cloudy haze of hardly being there with minimum pain until nature takes me that is the best I can get right now. Even though I don't necessarily believe those hell stories they just seem likely due to how shitty life #1 is.
Kratom seems most able to keep me in a state of stupor/indifference/occasional tiny bursts of minor joy, but has limits and since it's all I've got I nurse the shit out of it to keep tolerance very low.
How bad is it to take up fent/H, any hardcore users here? like, if I bought huge supply with money and just rotted alone doing it so I don't have to go out stealing/crazy stuff to get next fix? Also no friends or anybody that gives a fuck that would check on me or hear death noises or something like that so if I did OD the chances of emergency naloxone being administered are very close to 0, unless my SI is so strong that in a comatose dying state I dial them up.
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