recovery is possible for YOU, not for me

[want2dienow]

im not like you stop assume im the same. i want to die I'll never not want to die
if all that worked for you good for you, you are not me,

just need him to understand. i'm will not play puppet to vain.

threapy does not m,ake me happy
pills meds do NOT make me happy
over proecisibed meds you try to force me to take do not make me happy
your relgion, your "prayers" do not make me happy, do not make me force that on me.
your voliton is not mine, i will become aligned to what you want.
you say you have best interest, no, its to mold me into what you know as a societal norm. i am not you.

whatever you think makes me happy, does not make me happy.
Final kismet makes me h
ryan
Ask me what i'm grateful for?
i

'You' are
the threapist
-the docotrs
the psyshcitrist
-the intervention

of my life.
this is not a rant—this is my reality.

I will not play puppet to your volition.
sadly, this is the only place i can speak my truth, outside only puts on a label on me, and tosses me in the cesspool of statistics.

For that above, you'll never understand.

 

[rationaltake]

Your voice counts here.

 

[want2dienow]

Your voice counts here.

does it? i feel like a fly buzzing around

 

[rationaltake]

does it? i feel like a fly buzzing around

I know what you mean. Perhaps we're all flies.

As you said you can speak your truth.

I think there are people on here who can identify with your pain.

 

[want2dienow]

......

 

[rs929]

How could you be completely certain? Let's say you have tried 20 different meds. That doesn't mean the 21th won't work. Same for therapy, or something completely unexpected changing your life somehow.

I'm not trying to be overly optimistic, I'm just talking from a logical and rational point of view. You can't predict future

 

[Astral Storm]

It's true that some people have a strong disgust for life. I am considering myself to be one but not for a personal reason in my case.

I am just saying that you are valid. No one asked to be here and I totally understand that you want to leave. I have so much longing in my soul to leave this horrible place. I don't think it will ever change either.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I can completely understand the frustration from doctor's/therapists and their attempts to mould you. Sadly, I sometimes wonder if the human body and especially the human brain can't always be 'fixed'. There are certainly some physical ailments that they can't do anything about and the brain is even more complicated. I totally get that you are sick of trying all their methods and don't want to try anymore.

Sadly though, until attitudes change on our right to die and assisted suicide, I just can't see things changing- they will just continue to shove people through the wringer- whether this helps them or not.

I'm so sorry you are suffering so much.

How could you be completely certain? Let's say you have tried 20 different meds. That doesn't mean the 21th won't work. Same for therapy, or something completely unexpected changing your life somehow.

I'm not trying to be overly optimistic, I'm just talking from a logical and rational point of view. You can't predict future

Hmmm, if I'd tried 20 meds/therapies and they didn't work, think I'd be asking the doctor for their approval to apply for assisted suicide.

I do totally get where you're coming from- I think all of us want to be kind and feel optimistic that other people's lives can and will change if only they do/take/talk about ......Thing is though- we're all here... Because presumably we're all considering ending it- so either we don't believe in any of these 'solutions' working, we don't see the point in even trying them (literally the will to live has gone), or, we're just knackered and want it over and done with. Sorry to have a go at your post- just think it relies on a person still having hope.

 

[Guend]

Recovery is no longer possible for me. I have reached the point of no return, I want to die. I can no longer feel the pain every day. I still don't have everything I need to get it over with, but if I had everything I wouldn't think twice, I would have done it already.

 

[want2dienow]

How could you be completely certain? Let's say you have tried 20 different meds. That doesn't mean the 21th won't work. Same for therapy, or something completely unexpected changing your life somehow.

I'm not trying to be overly optimistic, I'm just talking from a logical and rational point of view. You can't predict future

overtly optimistic behind the guise of logical and ration. i know my right to die is not respected hence this exact quote here; sounds like Dr. Mike, 2020, January
i wishi do he'd just shoot me already i know im a slug but gratification is overarching

I can completely understand the frustration from doctor's/therapists and their attempts to mould you. Sadly, I sometimes wonder if the human body and especially the human brain can't always be 'fixed'. There are certainly some physical ailments that they can't do anything about and the brain is even more complicated. I totally get that you are sick of trying all their methods and don't want to try anymore.

Sadly though, until attitudes change on our right to die and assisted suicide, I just can't see things changing- they will just continue to shove people through the wringer- whether this helps them or not.

I'm so sorry you are suffering so much.

Hmmm, if I'd tried 20 meds/therapies and they didn't work, think I'd be asking the doctor for their approval to apply for assisted suicide.

I do totally get where you're coming from- I think all of us want to be kind and feel optimistic that other people's lives can and will change if only they do/take/talk about ......Thing is though- we're all here... Because presumably we're all considering ending it- so either we don't believe in any of these 'solutions' working, we don't see the point in even trying them (literally the will to live has gone), or, we're just knackered and want it over and done with. Sorry to have a go at your post- just think it relies on a person still having hope.

i torture and cruel seeing them force me alive like a puppet to their will. thats what i become if i fail so badly to life support. its sickening torture watching me from behind the viels crazy in your eyes; suffering in reality. this is exactly what happenthen dumped on the streets after submitting just to get awya from it. instead of wandering aimlessly or dangers of shelters i took his offer ive bene here ever since

 

[Forever Sleep]

overtly optimistic behind the guise of logical and ration. i know my right to die is not respected hence this exact quote here; sounds like Dr. Mike, 2020, January
i wishi do he'd just shoot me already i know im a slug but gratification is overarching


i torture and cruel seeing them force me alive like a puppet to their will. thats what i become if i fail so badly to life support. its sickening torture watching me from behind the viels crazy in your eyes; suffering in reality. this is exactly what happenthen dumped on the streets after submitting just to get awya from it. instead of wandering aimlessly or dangers of shelters i took his offer ive bene here ever since

That sounds terrible. I'm so sorry.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that in a world like this, wanting suicide can be perfectly rational. There is no way to 'recover' from seeing the world for what it really is. If someone has that mindset that everything will always improve no matter what for everyone, then to me they must be delusional as that does not reflect the cruel reality of this existence.

 

[want2dienow]

dumped on the streets after submitting just to get awya from it. instead of wandering aimlessly or dangers of shelters i took his offer ive bene here ever since

That sounds terrible. I'm so sorry.

this expereince was iterated in fk, albeit spoken in thenative language it is in there.

I think that in a world like this, wanting suicide can be perfectly rational. There is no way to 'recover' from seeing the world for what it really is. If someone has that mindset that everything will always improve no matter what for everyone, then to me they must be delusional as that does not reflect the cruel reality of this existence.

when i tried to tell eahc one of them this i was labeled crazy, incompetent even chaotic.
i have a shy voice i talk calm but even in my adamant its taken as i need to be forced into submit.
watchful eyes—as under surveillance within the ward. i refer.
i also cut quietly. im not chaotic
i cant speak my truth i can only submit to their will, to be as everyone else a carbon copy day routine; show happy for them in order to be freed from their grip
its always the underlying goal; to follow the general carbon path; at least here. i wish i could go back home