Recovery is never going to work.

[JustABug]

I started my recovery a few months ago as my only two options were to actually get on with it and end it all, or get help and work on everything. I told myself that I could only imagine myself doing 2 months of my third and last year of college and living. However It's been sinking in how true that is. I'm on my third week and physically cannot do it anymore. My dpdr is so intense and I have absolutely zero desire to witness the happy things in life. I don't want to taste my favourite food or cozy up in my bed. I just want to be a floating brain that can only think. I don't desire needs and aspirations. But I have them despite myself, and it's exhausting being a conscious organism. I truly believe I will be gone soon.

 

[Inthewind]

sounds tough, maybe you can try replicate that by just floating in a bath, at least as a shortterm way of experiencing that. Until whatever you decide to do

 

[Praestat_Mori]

That sounds tough what you have to go through. Maybe college isn't the right way for you to go? Have you thought about changing your life circumstances?

If you don't change or can't change the circumstances that lead to MH issues recovery isn't possible, I agree with that.

I wish you all the best and hope you find peace.