Reconciliation

[Water-Lily]

I thought of putting this in Recovery but I'm not committed to recovery so it wouldn't matter…

But basically after venting in chat (and being abelist as fuck) I mustered up the courage to apologize to my friend today

The one I avoided

I apologized to her as I typically do with everyone I snap at. Take responsibility, remind them I know I am the one with the issue I have to fix, and that my behavior was unacceptable. That I don't know what to do to "fix" my behavior but I know it's a cycle I gotta stop

She was extremely receptive, but this always happens.

I fall into toxic behaviors and act like a bitch only to apologize and I never get better

I know I bitch about my family in chat. But my grandma washed and set my clothes in a handle bag. And then, because the elevator to my apartment wasn't working, my dad waited downstairs and carried it for me

I'm so confusing…

 

[Pluto]

If the situation is truly out of hand, there are some medications that stabilise moods. Some people have found them helpful.