Hi love, there is no reason to be embarrassed about being depressed because you don't have a partner. When you get to a certain point in life and you see that everybody else seems to be… getting along as their supposed to for lack of a better term it makes us look inward and believe there is something wrong with us and what we're doing. I did want to touch on one of your reasons. Granted, I am a bit younger however the message is still the same. It's a bit long but you said you wanted a story of someone who went through something similar, and I love telling my friends this story whenever they're feeling lonely.
—-story below tldr—-
TLDR; All my romantic life, never had a serious relationship despite male attention. Was very lonely, it started getting to me after seeing a lot of friends get boyfriends. After yet another failed situationship, I drove to the lake one day where I decided I was done living like that and was going to CTB the next day at the same spot. All of a sudden, got a text message from a boy who asked what I was doing. Told him I was at the lake. Told me he knew a really nice spot where you could see the sunset. Asked if he could take me there the next day. I said yes. We've been dating a year.
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After countless flings and 'situationships' with men who wanted nothing but my company and sex, I was at my wits end. Crying everyday, wailing about how I'd never find anybody and this was my destiny. I drove to the lake in my car in the middle of night, sobbing. Some girls from my high school (I'm not stuck in the past haha at this point I had only graduated high school the year before) happened to be parked up as well and they saw me, drove up to my car, got out, took a video of me crying, honked, and sped off. I decided that the next day I was going to come back and ctb. I was texting people I hadn't talked to in years, people how had moved away, anybody honestly who I wouldn't feel shame or embarrassment for sharing these feelings with them. I asked them, "be honest, what is it about me that is attracting all these horrible men. I'm so lonely please be honest." And mind you, my friends in high school weren't shy, they were very extroverted and went to a lot of parties. They were they type to tell you to your face… I went as far as to ask one of the boys from the football team who I kept in contact with. They all said the same thing- "honestly, the way you post on social media… i just think a lot of guys think you're lonely and don't have a lot of friends so they see it as easy to get to know you because you don't talk to anybody. you don't really look like you want a relationship because you're always posting yourself doing self improvement type things so I guess guys take it as you don't want anything serious." It made no sense. Did they want me to post myself spiraling??? What did they want from me!!! Then as I'm sobbing at the lake, hugging myself in my car I get a text from a boy who I went to high school with. He was really nerdy in high school and i was the total opposite in the sense of i didn't really care about school. Hung out with all the druggies and parties, barely went to school. He graduated top 10% of the class, went to a super good college, So i'm sitting here thinking 'here we go again. and this time it's gonna actually suck because this time i'm not gonna get rejected by someone like me, it's actually someone with a future!!' and I open the text. It was a snapchat actually, this is an important distinction.
I'm embarrassed now because I'm crying at the middle of the night at the lake and I have a snapchat from this super smart guy from high school. Probably remembers me being a super loser in high school. I open it. He's asking me what i'm up to. I told him I was by the lake, and he responded "this late?!?" I lie and I tell him that I'm just there because I wanted to 'think'. He tells me that it's really funny that I'm by the lake because he knows a super cool spot where you can see the sunset off a cliff, and the lake down below. Because we live in the great lakes region, the lake looks like an ocean. He tells me he'd love to show me sometime. In fact, the very next day. So, the next night, I returned to the lake just like I promised myself in the car. Only this time, I wasn't going to CTB. I was going on a date. By the way, him and I have been dating for a year now :)
