Well I can't speak for you but I'll give you my reasons: I think I have brain damage as I constantly have headaches and deal with nausea. I do really stupid, awful things on impulse and cannot stop it no matter how hard I try. I dropped out of college out of fear and if my mom puts me in college I'm like 99% sure I'll do it again. Everytime I talk to someone I end up getting yelled at or getting in argument- always gives me trauma and I keep replaying it in my head to the point of giving me headaches.
I was abused, I became a verbal abuser, I was bullied, I came from poverty, I had huge fights with my family. I just want to get out. I'm also worried for my future as I know I have no future and I need to leave before my mom dies one day and I end up on the street with nowhere to go. I'm also just tired of life in general and want to get out.
Oh yeah how can I forget?.... I'm a horrible person (objectively). Everyone says that I know but I'm not kidding I cannot tell anyone on this site the things I've done or else I'm gonna get yelled at and hated again and I don't want more trauma.