KadathianStr1d3r

KadathianStr1d3r

Shattered Mannequin
Nov 21, 2018
278
Why do you want to CTB?
I always keep asking myself this everyday to later conclude that such an option for the current predicament I am under right now would be the best action to resolve the situation.
But recently though I stop asking why I want to CTB but instead I have been asking How did I end up wanting to end this misery?
From what i discovered makes me want to cling to that eternal sleep much more than ever before, so then Ill ask you guys again, Why do you want to CTB and How did those reasons came to be?
1505370844462
 
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Smilla

Smilla

Visionary
Apr 30, 2018
2,549
39, intractable depression, possibly facing early onset dementia, alone,
misanthropic, no desire left, disillusioned, disenchanted, ptsd from trauma (flashbacks, nightmares), existential debilitating angst, self loathing, hate society and its rules/rituals/talking heads, am a burden.
 
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T

tevati

Student
Sep 25, 2018
156
It was already over before it started.
 
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StillWaiting

StillWaiting

Need cats to comfort me
Jul 28, 2018
550
I don't want to see myself turning insane. Feel like I am closer to losing my sanity everyday
 
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Trashcan

Trashcan

Trash
Aug 31, 2018
1,234
I have depression, anxiety, want to avoid aging, no future, and am simply tired of life.
 
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T

Tyuiop

Student
Nov 25, 2018
155
I believe this is a dream and I want to wake up. Sort of like a time machine, to go back to the past. I asked God for signs, and he gave me signs - I've experienced dreams coming true, and other things that make me think this isn't reality. And otherwise I'm pretty miserable now, I've ruined my life and there's no way to fix it. Depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia... Whatever is it's name, I think it's really a demon inside me.
 
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M

MAIO

Elementalist
Apr 8, 2018
835
Why do you want to CTB?
I always keep asking myself this everyday to later conclude that such an option for the current predicament I am under right now would be the best action to resolve the situation.
But recently though I stop asking why I want to CTB but instead I have been asking How did I end up wanting to end this misery?
From what i discovered makes me want to cling to that eternal sleep much more than ever before, so then Ill ask you guys again, Why do you want to CTB and How did those reasons came to be?
View attachment 3907

I know for sure if I was never born I would not want to ctb.
 
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DariaBuPL

DariaBuPL

Can't take all of this anymore
Nov 30, 2018
27
People just hurt me so much, I can't deal with it anymore. I disappoint my family so much. I don't even have a normal future on this world, so there's no point to deal with it.
 
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V

Vegrau

Wizard
Nov 27, 2018
665
I am just bored of life. I wont play in someone else's game. By their rules and under them. Also it's not worth the efforts nor the pain. I have no reason to suffer and toil for something this meaningless. Life is all about finding meaning assigning reasons to this pointless existence I just dont want to play anymore of this. What for? I wont get prize at the end. All my suffering are for naught. All this strife are for future that has no meaning. Every dreams and agonies will become past. Its just logic.
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
I literally have no reason to live. I got incurable lifelong mental illnesses, a horrible life, I am unable to function a normal adult, and I lost pretty much everything. No matter how hard I tried I just never got anywhere. If I don't CTBA things will continue to get worse.
 
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P

Phade

Member
Nov 4, 2018
20
I have borderline personality disorder and the emotions and feelings about abandonment and everything else that go along with it are so intense it's literally just a matter of time. Just a waiting game. Today has been close even. My fiancé was almost out of the door but is now depressed upstairs and might not leave. After a bit of verbal abuse from her it might just be some swigs of alcohol and do it regardless but it becomes easier when she leaves to be fair.

The disorder is going to be the reason why I ctb and it's just a matter of time. The shotgun is waiting with one 3" slug in the box. I've held it in position and clicked the empty gun multiple times. I'm ready.
 
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Sinbad

Sinbad

Self-Annihilation is loading...95%
Nov 27, 2018
542
More than 13 reasons why
 
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Xerxes

Xerxes

Invisible
Nov 8, 2018
936
I don't want to be known as a survivor of trauma or abuse, because I did not survive mentally. Chronic depression since I was 12, chronic suicidal idealation since 14, irrational thinking and prone to outbursts. I'm in a catch-22 because I don't want to hurt anymore people that I hold dearly until they break that connection with me. Then I can be free from this world.
 
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D

Dwellinglifeless

Member
Nov 28, 2018
51
The world is a cursed place. Humans are a virus that will never be remedied. My mind and body are a prison and not a temple. I have made horrible mistakes that have cost me the most important people in my life. Overall I am simply not equipped to function in the world in the way that one is expected to.
 
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Going Home

Going Home

Specialist
Sep 21, 2018
357
Joseph Emanuel, City of Amsterdam, NY
Angelo Santa barbara, City of Amsterdam, NY
Perverted Dr. Dan, New York
Jim Nelligar, Cohoes, New York
Mary Peck, State of New York
And other random bullies around.
If you really want to know.
 
Last edited:
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peacefully31425

peacefully31425

Dirtbag
Aug 28, 2018
162
I'm terribly depressed and have no motivation to fix the problems around me.
 
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B

Bandzbandz

Student
Aug 23, 2018
139
I've turned myself into a monster and I dont think I deserve to live anymore.
 
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Crazy I

Crazy I

Madman
Nov 28, 2018
61
Well my reason is boredom and society, its too boring to live, i no longer have any goals in life and theres this feeling that told me i need to disappear before 25, oh and also this shitty society i grew up on.
 
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