REASONS FOR CTB

[Unattainable666]

These are the reasons why I am choosing to CTB. I"m sure others are considering CTB for the same reason. What are your reasons for CTB?

1. Overwhelming debt;
2. Hatred of people
3. Don't fit into "society"
4. Older
5. Loneliness
6. Depression and anxiety
7. Want to be with my child

Reasons to Live

NONE

 

[RedHates]

I think my biggest reason is all of the abuse I have to go through on a daily. I really feel you on some of these though. I've been isolated for a while now and the loneliness is really getting to me. I have even started waking up in anxiety attacks.

 

[Unattainable666]

I think my biggest reason is all of the abuse I have to go through on a daily. I really feel you on some of these though. I've been isolated for a while now and the loneliness is really getting to me. I have even started waking up in anxiety attacks.

I understand how you feel

 

[ringo99]

1. Inevitable homelessness and poverty
2. Loneliness
3. Drastically reduced standard of living from inherited health problems in 5 years
4. Unfit for society
5. Chronic incurable depression
6. General failure at almost everything I have tried my hand at

Only holding on to ensure my parents can be financially comfortable when I go even my father. I won't add financial hardship to the emotional pain they will feel at my passing

 

[StolenLife]

Mine are trauma, paranoia, depression and possible early onset schizophrenia.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Mine are

1. I don't see any possible reason to believe that the future will be any better than the present with the way circumstances are unfolding, I don't see any reason to be convinced I'll be any happier sticking around and hoping that things get better when by all accounts, life gets harder as you age which is not something I'm not looking forward to in any sense no matter whether or not, I have some support.

2. I don't see any reason to continue the struggle of existence any further.

3. Death may be unknown but I don't fear it as nearly as much as staying alive for another 30-50 years with more climate change, wars, corruption, greed and inequality and also just dealing with the consequences of selfish actions by human beings that cause indefinite harm.

4. For years, I've sought methods from full and partial hanging to Potassium and Sodium Cyanide ingestion, Severing the carotid artery with a Knife, a gun, ingestion of sulphuric acid and even inert gas, some were not obtainable due to restrictions, inconclusive research and cost so SN had appealed to me because it is obtainable and because quite a few users on this forum have completed CTB with it so this will be my route.

5. I can't bare to see how could I go on with my suicidal ideation never ever far away in my deepest thoughts, I know I don't want to be here any longer than I need to.

 

[Darkover]

Below are the reasons I will be ctb:
(1)no sex for 19 years no love or care from anyone only one sexual relationship between the age of 16 and 18
(2)broken left shoulder dislocates 10 times goes weak and limp at 18
(3)decay teeth 4 molar teeth completely decayed, 22 cavities at 18
(4)damaged stomach lining from a paracetamol overdose at 22
(5)tinnitus in both ears caused by weed and headphones at 30
(6)brain injury caused by weed and headphones at 30
(7)schizophrenia and depression at 18
(8)no friends all my life
(9)going to jail for a crime i didn't commit at 18
(10)no job or work
(11)left school with no gcse i didn't go for the most part
(12)neglect and abuse my parents didn't take me to the dentist my sister was giving me weed from age 11or12
(13) crappy housing

 

[enough of this]

My main reasons are;
Very uncomfortable and incurable bodily conditions,
Loneliness,
Not wanting to live in a world run by criminal psychopaths and the resulting havoc they wreck on humanity.

 

[hatedavoidant]

These are the reasons why I am choosing to CTB. I"m sure others are considering CTB for the same reason. What are your reasons for CTB?

1. Overwhelming debt;
2. Hatred of people
3. Don't fit into "society"
4. Older
5. Loneliness
6. Depression and anxiety
7. Want to be with my child

Reasons to Live

NONE

the last one broke me. i wish you the best on the path you will choose to take, your child is proud of you no matter what you do

 

[Unattainable666]

the last one broke me. i wish you the best on the path you will choose to take, your child is proud of you no matter what you do

Thank you for your kind words. It brought tears to my eyes. I want nothing more than my child to be proud of me. I miss her so much

 

[90starve]

loneliness
zero pleasure or joy in anything
undiagnosed mental disorder im sure
boredom
too many mistakes made

 

[NoLongerHuman.]

My main reasons are the trauma I have and the abuse I went/go through daily. Others are my chronic illnesses and mental illnesses. In a year or so, according to doctors, I might not be able to walk at all, and walking already causes lots of pain. And I wish to be with the ones I've already lost.

 

[Galaxie76]

In my life, everything goes wrong again and again
I'm losing my jobs all the time
I'm constantly disappointed by people I've trusted
I feel despondent and powerless
I no longer have confidence in life that everything will be fine again


I'm using the google translate. Sorry for my bad english

 

[absolomonisgone]

My reason for ctb is I think that's what I always wanted
Of course there are the real reasons
The real reasons are:
1) I think I'm special ---, I don't take orders from no one--, yet I don't have lots of wealth to not take orders
2) Well, I can't withstand being old---, old to me is past 50----, even at 49 3 months to 50...--', the world appears weird....-- u know -- kids everywhere ---, army, police ---; even the police kids won't arrest you and get awkward when you confront them
3,) everything becomes a joke
4) I should have ctb 30 years ago

 

[The anhedonic one]

My reasons to ctb are as follows:

1. Subjected to mental cruelty by my narcissistic Mother.
2. Paedophilic stepfather abused me.
3. Began suffering from clinical depression age 6.
4. Subjected to bullying at school .
5. The love of my life stole my life savings and ran away with my so-called best friend.
6. All of the above have led to untreatable and persistent suicidal depression.
8.Unbearable loneliness, and existential crisis.
9. I'm 59 years old, homeless, and completely alone in the world.

I'm astonished that I'm still here, and made it this far.
Yet its an absolute certainty that I'll never reach 60.

 

[Unattainable666]

My reasons to ctb are as follows:

1. Subjected to mental cruelty by my narcissistic Mother.
2. Paedophilic stepfather.
3. Began suffering from clinical depression age 6.
4. Subjected to bullying at school .
5. The love of my life stole my life savings and ran away with my so-called best friend.
6. All of the above have led to untreatable and persistent suicidal depression.
7. I'm 59 years old, homeless, and completely alone in the world.

I'm astonished that I'm still here, and made it this far.
Yet its an absolute certainty that I'll never reach 60.

we have many life challenges in common my friend.

 

[ARW3N]

It's the sheer lack of control that we have over our lives. We can't do as we want in life. I can't, for example, decide not to earn a living or choose not to pay taxes to the government. We are not free in life. I absolutely hate being dependent on anything or anyone. I'm not given the option of not bothering with work, taxes or others anymore. I feel trapped and suffocated by life.

 

[The anhedonic one]

These are the reasons why I am choosing to CTB. I"m sure others are considering CTB for the same reason. What are your reasons for CTB?

1. Overwhelming debt;
2. Hatred of people
3. Don't fit into "society"
4. Older
5. Loneliness
6. Depression and anxiety
7. Want to be with my child

Reasons to Live

NONE

I can't imagine how it must feel to lose a child. The emotional pain that you are feeling must be truly incomprehensible. I don't know if there is anything beyond this earthly existence. But for your sake, I hope that there is and you can finally be together again.

 

[Unattainable666]

I can't imagine how it must feel to lose a child. The emotional pain that you are feeling must be truly incomprehensible. I don't know if there is anything beyond this earthly existence. But for your sake, I hope that there is and you can finally be together again.

Thank you for understanding. Most don't

 

[Deleted member 65988]

It's the sheer lack of control that we have over our lives. We can't do as we want in life. I can't, for example, decide not to earn a living or choose not to pay taxes to the government. We are not free in life. I absolutely hate being dependent on anything or anyone. I'm not given the option of not bothering with work, taxes or others anymore. I feel trapped and suffocated by life.

I know right, it's like you have to be part of the system no matter what where you pay your taxes to government which is a corrupt organization in itself.

 

[RumbleMan]

These are the reasons why I am choosing to CTB. I"m sure others are considering CTB for the same reason. What are your reasons for CTB?

1. Overwhelming debt;
2. Hatred of people
3. Don't fit into "society"
4. Older
5. Loneliness
6. Depression and anxiety
7. Want to be with my child

Reasons to Live

NONE

Dont you have like any pets? Thats whats keeping me alive…
Maybe you can visit your child or did something happen to him that Im unaware of?

 

[Valky]

Sorry about your loss, that is tragic.


I am tired of holding on. Tired of trying my best and it yet still not being enough. Tired of living.

 

[mlcs]

1. Antipsychotics induced damaged brain chemistry and ruined physical health

I think that's about it. Everything else that happened afterwards was a direct consequence of it or my reacton to it. It was impossible to escape, I tried to fight being 99% sure its a suicide mission, but wanted to live a little bit longer than 20 years. I knew the moment of active ctb planning will come but not this fast. I dont want to grow old, I dont even want to be near 30 cause I ve already underperformed considering all the potential I ve had.

 

[FuneralCry]

Overall, I just see non-existence as being preferable, death has certainly been the only comfort and relief for me, I could never see a point to existing or see it as being appealing or desirable. Existing is just a futile process of waiting around to die where all that's inevitable is even more suffering, loss and decay, we are destined for nothing but to be tortured by old age which is something that disturbs me.

And this world is just a repulsive place to exist in, only nothingness is acceptable for me, it truly is horrific how there's potential for so much endless suffering to be experienced here, I have enough awareness to recognise that existence is just an unnecessary harm and the true problem lies in existence itself which can only be solved by death.

 

[Unattainable666]

Dont you have like any pets? Thats whats keeping me alive…
Maybe you can visit your child or did something happen to him that Im unaware of?

I have a cat that is dying of liver cancer. My child was murdered

 

[RumbleMan]

I have a cat that is dying of liver cancer. My child was murdered

I… I'm so sorry… I sould not have asked.

Sending prayers and love from the deepest of my heart

 

[Unattainable666]

I… I'm so sorry… I sould not have asked.

Sending prayers and love from the deepest of my heart

I'm glad you asked. It showed you cared enough to ask. Thank you for caring.

 

[Eternal Sleep!]

My reason for CTB are number 3 and 6

 

[day]

Mine are trauma, paranoia, depression and possible early onset schizophrenia.

I feel this.. constant anxiety is literally ruining my life and it seems to have no way out of it exceot CTB. Meds don't work, friends don't work.. I'll try therapy but it's doubtful it'll be any solution.

 

[Gonnerr]

Mine are ;

1 - Loneliness

2 - Socially ackward, living in society has been pure pain for me.

3 - Bad parents that fucked me up

4 - Im 43 and my body is feeling like 70, my mind is 100 , i got health issues and will get worst. Money will be an issue at some point.

5 - I hate life itself even though i had very good moments in my life.

6 - I lost my innocence towards life a long time ago, everything is crap , born for no good reason...maybe the selfish product of my parents, just to gave them somebody to do , a meaning in life but they were no match against evolution and society pressure of having children. That's why life is disgusting.


Reason to live ;

1 - try to have the perfect plan to overcome my SI and finally be set free from that hell.

2 - escape that hell peacefully