Help Realistically, how much would my family actually suffer if I ctb?

[KillingPain267]

I mean my partner of 9 nears also left me, and caused my tremendous pain changing my life forever. But that is no argument for them to force to stay with me either, right? I wish my family no pain but why should I just continue to be here in this life if every day is torture and go to stupid therapies and take useless medications, just for me them to avoid some pain. It's been almost 2 years now and I see now end in sight for my pain, in fact it gets worse and worse and more and more meaningless. How long could it take my family to get over my ctb with a little therapy and some medication? They have no money issues either and have good careers.

 

[failure383]

Probably a lot. To be honest, just read what all the people, who lost a loved one through suicide, write on here, it's terrible for them. By no means I'm trying to guilttrip you, but you shouldn't be delusional about them not caring if they actually care, that is. It's your decision what you do with your life. The best solution would be if you think suicide is inevitable, to talk to your family about your suffering openly and explain your situation, because knowing the pain you've been through is arguably lessening their's.

 

[KillingPain267]

The best solution would be if you think suicide is inevitable,

That will result in them basically watching me like a prisoner

to talk to your family about your suffering openly and explain your situation, because knowing the pain you've been through is arguably lessening their's.

They will say things "will get better" but I feel worse and worse every day

 

[drag201]

Well, realistically, it will be extremely hard for them. Death is always very difficult to deal with for any family, but I feel like a suicide would put some extra guilt for not noticing, or some weight on their consciousnesses for maybe thinking they could've done something more to prevent everything. It leaves a lot of doubts, especially when the person who does it just leaves everything unsaid. It's okay to feel like thats your only way out, and I don't like the idea of staying here and forcing ourselves for the sake of other people.
If your family is able to realise that there was nothing that could be done, and that you are in a better place, it will take MANY years for them to come to terms with your death, even with therapy etc. But I'm sure they will learn to instead focus on cherishing you and your memory, though that's not something that will happen in a few months/years. It also depends how close you are, there's no way of guessing how long it will take to grieve, everyone is different.
If you ever do anything, please spend some more time with your family, and when it happens let them know somehow that it was not their fault. Take care

 

[KillingPain267]

Well, realistically, it will be extremely hard for them. Death is always very difficult to deal with for any family, but I feel like a suicide would put some extra guilt for not noticing, or some weight on their consciousnesses for maybe thinking they could've done something more to prevent everything. It leaves a lot of doubts, especially when the person who does it just leaves everything unsaid. It's okay to feel like thats your only way out, and I don't like the idea of staying here and forcing ourselves for the sake of other people.
If your family is able to realise that there was nothing that could be done, and that you are in a better place, it will take MANY years for them to come to terms with your death, even with therapy etc. But I'm sure they will learn to instead focus on cherishing you and your memory, though that's not something that will happen in a few months/years. It also depends how close you are, there's no way of guessing how long it will take to grieve, everyone is different.
If you ever do anything, please spend some more time with your family, and when it happens let them know somehow that it was not their fault. Take care

Whatever I was already died over a year ago. There is nothing left me staying here anyway. I often get irritated with them and wish to be alone anyway.

 

[wanttodie12345]

I was 10 when my parent ctb. Took about 15 years for me to really come to terms with it, but those weren't all bad years, and I had good years after that too. I was grateful they left a note to me, but it wasn't given to me until I was an adult (not their wish, just what everyone else thought best for me). I had struggles of my own that were unrelated to their ctb. I think my sibling's struggles started before our parent left too. The biggest impact was my remaining parent had to re-enter the workforce with only a high school diploma and the family has struggled with finances and resources ever since. We don't know if it was on purpose, but the ctb parent made sure the mortgage was paid off before leaving (this was back when such a thing was possible on a single income). I'm not ok now, planning my own bus to catch, but it's not all about their choice. Still, their choice caused damage that needed more than a little therapy and medication.

 

[KillingPain267]

I was 10 when my parent ctb.

It would be the reverse situation for me. My parents are near pension age, so no children will be affected by my ctb

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

No money issues and good careers is something I think about - i wonder how many of us are struggling in so many ways and feeling trapped with no way out. I think it's horrible to think about how they'd suffer, but I'm suffering and feel cursed and I need an end to my misery and I've been living for decades because I don't want anyone to suffer with my death. I'm so fucking tired. so many reasons to just not be here

- I'm unemployed and looking for work and likely not to find anything, and homelessness is a real possibility
- the few friends I have stopped messaging me - my neurodivergence just burns people out.
- if I'm not looking for work, I'm dealing with health problems. I'm waiting on a result to see if I need more testing to see if I have cancer. I keep waiting to hear from my doctor but nothing and it's been a week. I'm just supposed to act like it's normal to have a lump.

more reasons to not stay. decades more of this?!?