Realised SN is not the perfect solution I thought it was.

[BeautifulMosaics]

I am grateful that I have it, it is better than hanging and jumping by far. But now I really wish I'd had a gun. In my country civillians can't really get them easily. I twice have started an attempt with SN. Only the second time did I actually mix the drink - and honestly, the palpatations were bad (I've never drunk the SN either), but what shocked me was how full of sorrow, how forlorn and lonely and dark I felt. I NEVER expected to feel that. Then on top of that, you'd have to drink the poison and feel it sit in your stomach, knowing (from my perspective) it's wrong to do this (I just have a fighter and optimist in me despite not really being functional in life)... You'd then have to sit with those palpatations which I'm sure exacerbate the sadness and sorrow.

A gun is just BANG.

Anyway, so I've realised it's not the solution I thought it was and I'm probably not going to be able to use it as willy nilly as I thought. Developments have happened in my life, something which forced me to leave the house, put me in a deep depression and stress/displacement - it was kind of a growing pain. And that's not to say I haven't SUFFERED before because I have. It's just now, all this shit and suffering is old and I've seen that I have to ensure my peace in this life and I can't rely on others. Because it showed me I actually do want more from life despite suffering, it forced me to speak up for myself in this situation and it helped me interact with life because I had to leave my home and be out in the world where I usually hide away. It made my phobias seem miniscule.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

It's not going to be any different with a gun. You still have to squeeze the trigger, which is equivalent to drinking the SN cocktail. Sounds to me like you don't want to die, or, at least, are not a rock bottom. Or.................you're one of those anti-choicers simply spouting the same old rhetoric about life not being so bad, blah, blah, blah. Maybe you're not, and I'm not accusing you, just presenting possibilities. If you're not, by all means, go and live your life and see if you can make it good. But, remember, your life is not everyone's life. What's good for you isn't necessarily what is good for someone else. Good luck in whatever you do.

 

[TAW122]

A gun is just BANG.

Yes, but also keep in mind that you have literally only one shot to get it, literally and figuratively speaking. The consideration of angle, the caliber, positioning, and of course squeezing the trigger while not flinching, and more.. there are many things that go on even with a firearm except the consequence of failure is astronomical, you could be alive and a vegetable, in a worse state than prior to CTB'ing. A firearm is not a method to be taken lightly at all and also requires serious planning and coordination for success.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

The relatively long time it takes certainly is unappealing to me and makes it harder yo act on a feeling (which could also be seen as a positive of course). It will definitely require you to steel your will beforehand.

 

[WorthlessCoward]

(I've never drunk the SN either)

Most people don't lol or they do it only once (twice if they puke)

I don't mind how sorrowful, forlornness, loneliness or darkness. What is bothersome is all the preparation you have to do before you take it, so annoying and if your nitrite turns into nitrate you are fucked.

Besides guns are cooler, specially revolvers.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't think that SN was ever the perfect method really, to me N is what is ideal as it sounds like the most peaceful. But I think that those who have SN are fortunate as it's a reliable poison after all and I would personally prefer that over a gun, but a gun also isn't an option where I live. It's very unfortunate how people cannot at least have the choice of methods to decide what is best for themselves, suicide especially is difficult in the UK as it's such an anti suicide country and this is only getting worse as time goes on.

 

[roping]

I am grateful that I have it, it is better than hanging and jumping by far. But now I really wish I'd had a gun. In my country civillians can't really get them easily. I twice have started an attempt with SN. Only the second time did I actually mix the drink - and honestly, the palpatations were bad (I've never drunk the SN either), but what shocked me was how full of sorrow, how forlorn and lonely and dark I felt. I NEVER expected to feel that. Then on top of that, you'd have to drink the poison and feel it sit in your stomach, knowing (from my perspective) it's wrong to do this (I just have a fighter and optimist in me despite not really being functional in life)... You'd then have to sit with those palpatations which I'm sure exacerbate the sadness and sorrow.

A gun is just BANG.

Anyway, so I've realised it's not the solution I thought it was and I'm probably not going to be able to use it as willy nilly as I thought. Developments have happened in my life, something which forced me to leave the house, put me in a deep depression and stress/displacement - it was kind of a growing pain. And that's not to say I haven't SUFFERED before because I have. It's just now, all this shit and suffering is old and I've seen that I have to ensure my peace in this life and I can't rely on others. Because it showed me I actually do want more from life despite suffering, it forced me to speak up for myself in this situation and it helped me interact with life because I had to leave my home and be out in the world where I usually hide away. It made my phobias seem miniscule.

dont you think youd feel similarly getting the gun ready? loading it, making sure it doesnt jam, idk how guns work but im sure you get the point

 

[William01]

I'm sure all methods have their drawbacks. What's this about preparing for a few days beforehand for SN? As far as I understood it, it was you take ant acids for a while b4hand - heartburn tablets to lower your stomach pph.. fast for like 8 hours, the last 2 being a liquid fast (as little liquid as possible)

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

It's not going to be any different with a gun. You still have to squeeze the trigger, which is equivalent to drinking the SN cocktail. Sounds to me like you don't want to die, or, at least, are not a rock bottom. Or.................you're one of those anti-choicers simply spouting the same old rhetoric about life not being so bad, blah, blah, blah. Maybe you're not, and I'm not accusing you, just presenting possibilities. If you're not, by all means, go and live your life and see if you can make it good. But, remember, your life is not everyone's life. What's good for you isn't necessarily what is good for someone else. Good luck in whatever you do.

I didn't make any judgements on anyone else's life, you came in my thread with the typical nonsense accusationary sentiment that now has a strong current on this website. Don't project your feelings on me, your lack of reading comprehension is on you. You're not going to silence me from describing what I'm going through because it has a hint of positivity, get out my thread if my journey triggers you.

YOU actually came in here and decided I don't want to die or haven't hit rock bottom. Your arrogance is astounding, don't come in my thread and throw your weight and call me a plant when I've been here much longer than you.

dont you think youd feel similarly getting the gun ready? loading it, making sure it doesnt jam, idk how guns work but im sure you get the point

Nah, it would be over immediately. And there'd be no "experience" dying is what I'm saying. It made me see that I'm not suicidal enough to drink the SN, which is a weird state of limbo. Not wanting to kill myself but wanting to die regardless. Relunctantly alive. If I had a gun I'd definitely be dead - but I don't *shrug*. Just plodding along.

 

[notwhereIbelong]

It's not going to be any different with a gun. You still have to squeeze the trigger, which is equivalent to drinking the SN cocktail. Sounds to me like you don't want to die, or, at least, are not a rock bottom. Or.................you're one of those anti-choicers simply spouting the same old rhetoric about life not being so bad, blah, blah, blah. Maybe you're not, and I'm not accusing you, just presenting possibilities. If you're not, by all means, go and live your life and see if you can make it good. But, remember, your life is not everyone's life. What's good for you isn't necessarily what is good for someone else. Good luck in whatever you do.

What made you think, from their post, that they're an anti-choicer trying to share their bullshit? To me, it just sounds like someone who had a sudden change of mind, which is not that unusual with suicide. Nowhere in their post did they try to encourage others to give life a second chance, they were only telling about their own experience. Why did you feel the need to add such a comment?

 

[PurpleParadigm]

I want to do Nitrogen. Should've done it when EM was around but oh well.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I didn't make any judgements on anyone else's life, you came in my thread with the typical nonsense accusationary sentiment that now has a strong current on this website. Don't project your feelings on me, your lack of reading comprehension is on you. You're not going to silence me from describing what I'm going through because it has a hint of positivity, get out my thread if my journey triggers you.

YOU actually came in here and decided I don't want to die or haven't hit rock bottom. Your arrogance is astounding, don't come in my thread and throw your weight and call me a plant when I've been here much longer than you.

Nah, it would be over immediately. And there'd be no "experience" dying is what I'm saying. It made me see that I'm not suicidal enough to drink the SN, which is a weird state of limbo. Not wanting to kill myself but wanting to die regardless. Relunctantly alive. If I had a gun I'd definitely be dead - but I don't *shrug*. Just plodding along.

I don't care how long you've been here. I wasn't aware this was a "union" forum where seniority took precedent over others. I still think YOU'RE (I can use capital letters too) one of those anti-choicers based on YOUR words in YOUR original post. I think you're just using your nonsensical "scare tactics" in order to scare others away from SN which, in many cases, is the only method available to them, albeit not the best. I didn't insult you, I just told you what I thought. The thing about it is ANYONE can comment in anyone elses threads. Honestly, I couldn't care less whether you die or don't; I have my own issues to deal with. That's entirely up to you. Good luck to you in your endeavors.

What made you think, from their post, that they're an anti-choicer trying to share their bullshit? To me, it just sounds like someone who had a sudden change of mind, which is not that unusual with suicide. Nowhere in their post did they try to encourage others to give life a second chance, they were only telling about their own experience. Why did you feel the need to add such a comment?

What's your business in all this? That is EXACTLY what anti-choicers do, how they get their message out. They make posts with a premise like, "Realized SN is not the perfect solution I thought it was", which, subtly, puts the idea into others' minds that maybe SN isn't the "perfect" method. It's meant to put doubt into people's minds. If you would pay attention, you'd see that there are a whole bunch of those kinds of threads posted in SaSu all the time. It's just another tactic the anti-choicers use to get their message out. Of course, you're free to take any message as you like, as am I.

 

[FireWalkWithMe]

To me the bit about feeling sorrowful and forlorn is understandable, but it's not clear why this is attached to SN and not a gun. You are bound to have moments of contemplation for any method.

A (successful) gun shot is more instantaneous than any poison. That's obvious. It's even more instant than N. Just the nature of the beast. There's pros and cons. One of which is ending up with no face but still very much alive!

 

[endofafoxtwo]

Relunctantly alive

Dude this is going to be my nee tagline thank you!!!

 

[notwhereIbelong]

What's your business in all this? That is EXACTLY what anti-choicers do, how they get their message out. They make posts with a premise like, "Realized SN is not the perfect solution I thought it was", which, subtly, puts the idea into others' minds that maybe SN isn't the "perfect" method. It's meant to put doubt into people's minds. If you would pay attention, you'd see that there are a whole bunch of those kinds of threads posted in SaSu all the time. It's just another tactic the anti-choicers use to get their message out. Of course, you're free to take any message as you like, as am I.

My business in this is that you're being an ass for no reason. So what if others start thinking that SN is not the best choice? Just recently a lot of people here on SS had the police bust down their door for buying SN, and there's plenty of other methods. If not SN, they'll just pick something else. I get that you're probably just paranoid about anti-choicers, but you came into someone's thread throwing accusations when all they did was making a personal observation

 

[locked*n*loaded]

My business in this is that you're being an ass for no reason.

This doesn't even make sense from any logical stance.

So what if others start thinking that SN is not the best choice?

That would be on you for putting this idea out there in the first place.

Just recently a lot of people here on SS had the police bust down their door for buying SN, and there's plenty of other methods.

What does police busting down the a door have to do with whether SN is a "perfect" (your words, not mine) choice? What do other methods have to do with any of this - I though the premise of your post was about SN and it not being a prefect choice?

I get that you're probably just paranoid about anti-choicers

Hardly.

..........but you came into someone's thread throwing accusations when all they did was making a personal observation

That's the thing about opinions - just like assholes, everybody has one, and that includes me, as well as you.

 

[notwhereIbelong]

That would be on you for putting this idea out there in the first place.

I'm not even the one who said that? While SN isn't my choice, others are free to pick it as theirs. Did you forget that I'm not the OP?

This doesn't even make sense from any logical stance.

You replied to someone's post in an unnecessarily antagonistic way, I told you not to be an ass. It's a very simple situation. I don't understand what you're getting so worked up for

What does police busting down the a door have to do with whether SN is a "perfect" (your words, not mine) choice? What do other methods have to do with any of this - I though the premise of your post was about SN and it not being a prefect choice?

Again, I'm not even the OP, you're just accusing me of stuff I never even said. The reason why I mentioned the police raids is that they stem from one of the biggest sources of SN getting shut down, and they led a lot of people to being scared or wary of acquiring SN online, understandably so, as they were scared of the police showing up at their door for it. Granted, this was a month ago now, so things may have mellowed out in the meanwhile

 

[ayb]

I am grateful that I have it, it is better than hanging and jumping by far. But now I really wish I'd had a gun. In my country civillians can't really get them easily. I twice have started an attempt with SN. Only the second time did I actually mix the drink - and honestly, the palpatations were bad (I've never drunk the SN either), but what shocked me was how full of sorrow, how forlorn and lonely and dark I felt. I NEVER expected to feel that. Then on top of that, you'd have to drink the poison and feel it sit in your stomach, knowing (from my perspective) it's wrong to do this (I just have a fighter and optimist in me despite not really being functional in life)... You'd then have to sit with those palpatations which I'm sure exacerbate the sadness and sorrow.

A gun is just BANG.

Anyway, so I've realised it's not the solution I thought it was and I'm probably not going to be able to use it as willy nilly as I thought. Developments have happened in my life, something which forced me to leave the house, put me in a deep depression and stress/displacement - it was kind of a growing pain. And that's not to say I haven't SUFFERED before because I have. It's just now, all this shit and suffering is old and I've seen that I have to ensure my peace in this life and I can't rely on others. Because it showed me I actually do want more from life despite suffering, it forced me to speak up for myself in this situation and it helped me interact with life because I had to leave my home and be out in the world where I usually hide away. It made my phobias seem miniscule.

With all due respect if you're feeling forlorn before swallowing the SN then I would seriously re-examine your rationale on why you want to CTB and go seek treatment if you haven't.

CTB is supposed to be a last resort option.

All the best

 

[Vizzy]

I didn't make any judgements on anyone else's life, you came in my thread with the typical nonsense accusationary sentiment that now has a strong current on this website. Don't project your feelings on me, your lack of reading comprehension is on you. You're not going to silence me from describing what I'm going through because it has a hint of positivity, get out my thread if my journey triggers you.

YOU actually came in here and decided I don't want to die or haven't hit rock bottom. Your arrogance is astounding, don't come in my thread and throw your weight and call me a plant when I've been here much longer than you.

Nah, it would be over immediately. And there'd be no "experience" dying is what I'm saying. It made me see that I'm not suicidal enough to drink the SN, which is a weird state of limbo. Not wanting to kill myself but wanting to die regardless. Relunctantly alive. If I had a gun I'd definitely be dead - but I don't *shrug*. Just plodding along.

You said sn is not a perfect way to ctb, no ctb is a perfect way

You think firearm is perfect way to ctb, nah I have read cases where the person was alive for more than 1 hour after shooting themselves with shotgun, that's terrible and horrible way to die

Sn is not bad, mostly no brain damage, you face and body is still there even if it go wrong, you can't say this to firearm which is one of the worst ctb method to fail, you will be a vegetable

 

[bloomingdale020101]

Most people don't lol or they do it only once (twice if they puke)

I don't mind how sorrowful, forlornness, loneliness or darkness. What is bothersome is all the preparation you have to do before you take it, so annoying and if your nitrite turns into nitrate you are fucked.

Besides guns are cooler, specially revolvers.

Wait, can sodium nitrite turn into sodium nitrate? How and how to avoid

 

[Vizzy]

Wait, can sodium nitrite turn into sodium nitrate? How and how to avoid

Sodium nitrate turn into sodium nitrite not the other way around

 

[Forever Sleep]

I used to think I'd be able to do it if I had a gun- but that was until I realised it was entirely possible to fail the attempt with a gun. There are horrible stories about people surviving with half their face blown off... . It's kind of academic for me though because it's much harder to get firearms in the UK.

I do agree though- my method is likely to be SN too and the side effects and risk of failure frighten me. They would do with any method to be honest. The only method I'd feel vaguely confident in would be assisted suicide at a clinic. I don't think any of us really know how we're going to be until our own time comes. I hope you can create a better life for yourself if CTB isn't the right option for now.

Sodium nitrate turn into sodium nitrite not the other way around

I think nitrite does turn into nitrate if it is exposed to water. I'm guessing that's the concern people have when they open their containers and expose it to the air- maybe it's the moisture in the air that makes it degrade. Also- I think there can be issues if people mix it with water and leave it too long without consuming it. I'm not a scientist though- it's just what I've read here and there.

 

[Vizzy]

I used to think I'd be able to do it if I had a gun- but that was until I realised it was entirely possible to fail the attempt with a gun. There are horrible stories about people surviving with half their face blown off... . It's kind of academic for me though because it's much harder to get firearms in the UK.

I do agree though- my method is likely to be SN too and the side effects and risk of failure frighten me. They would do with any method to be honest. The only method I'd feel vaguely confident in would be assisted suicide at a clinic. I don't think any of us really know how we're going to be until our own time comes. I hope you can create a better life for yourself if CTB isn't the right option for now.

I think nitrite does turn into nitrate if it is exposed to water. I'm guessing that's the concern people have when they open their containers and expose it to the air- maybe it's the moisture in the air that makes it degrade. Also- I think there can be issues if people mix it with water and leave it too long without consuming it. I'm not a scientist though- it's just what I've read here and there.

I am talking about what happens after ingested not talking about moisture, air or anything else