Got everything in order, my method of choice is resting on my chest. Just need a nice secluded spot to do the deed. It's such a cruel joke that everyone around me is happy only when I'm at my lowest, they don't love me for who I truly am, just the half-assed image I put forward. How is that fucking fair? I get to sit here and feel guilty about taking a person that doesn't exist. The one that hurts the most, the one that is the least capable, the one that I can't stand to be, the one I can't be, that's the one they love... why do their smiles seem to be bigger right now...
I hate this. I hate everything about this, I wish I could leave quietly. That this is the life I have to live must be the work of some malevolent cosmic force. I wish I could be at peace these final days, but I know I will hurt people. I'll try to make it as clear as possible in my note just how I feel, but I've spent months trying to previously, will this be what it takes to make it clear? That I'm not who they think I am?
What I wouldn't give to start over... in the correct body... in a gentler world...
I hate this. I hate everything about this, I wish I could leave quietly. That this is the life I have to live must be the work of some malevolent cosmic force. I wish I could be at peace these final days, but I know I will hurt people. I'll try to make it as clear as possible in my note just how I feel, but I've spent months trying to previously, will this be what it takes to make it clear? That I'm not who they think I am?
What I wouldn't give to start over... in the correct body... in a gentler world...
