Venting Ready to Go

[calmdown]

I'm so tired of life and everything. I'm forced to live in this ridiculous cycle of abuse. I want to die so fucking bad. Every day, specifically when my abuser (my father) is home, I get so fucking low in emotion. I am hanging on by a thread, and for no reason! I have no friends, no one cares about me, I have no money or job, I have lots of stuff! But I can't fucking sell it because my abuser will throw a fat hissy fit. I long to escape. I long to be safe and loved. But that will never happen. I only have my cats, but even they prefer my fucking father to me. I have no where to go to escape. The only shelter I can even consider is by fucking Catholic Charities. I GREW UP CATHOLIC AND HAVE RELIGIOUS TRAUMA. So no, I don't think going there is a good idea, especially since I am very queer. I'm so tired of trying...I'm looking for advice on how to write my suicide note, or if I should even write one to begin with.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry life has treated you so badly. It sounds like a very difficult situation to be in. I suspect the reason people didn't respond earlier is that they didn't really know what to say to help. That can be a big problem here. I think many people seem stuck in these almost impossible situations.

It does seem like you are considering options. Are you looking for work? Money is obviousy a major stumbling block for a lot of people. In the case of abusive family members, my only real adice would be to try and get away- but obviously- that requires money.

With regards to CTB and leaving a note- that has to be your choice. There are other threads here about notes. When you have made a few more posts, the search bar will become available. I think you need around the 20-25 mark but, I could be wrong. Here's one discussing it though:

What would you put in suicide letter?

Who will you write to? What would you say? Idk I just wanna hear others thoughts on this.

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[FuneralCry]

That really sounds like such a dreadful situation to be trapped in, I understand why you would feel so tired of suffering here.

But anyway I believe it's a personal decision deciding whether to leave a note or not and I think it's up to the individual deciding what to write in it, it just depends on what feels right, I would personally explain what brought me to that point and say that death is what I truly wished for, it would mean that those left behind would be less likely to be left with as many unanswered questions.