timetogoLKMN
New Member
- Jan 24, 2019
- 1
Well guys, I've been scoping out this page for the better part of a month now and while I'm not really sure I want to die, the fact that my brain won't let me live a second without pain, I really don't see a way out other than offing myself.
I'm not gonna lie, killing myself sort of scares the shit out of me. I feel like the absolute devil for leaving my husband and two kids, but they don't understand, nor will they ever.
I haven't decided on a method yet, I'm still to new here to know for sure, so if anyone has any good suggestions, I'm all ears. The only caveat is that it cannot involve the possibility that I will puke. I know it seems a little odd, but I have a crippling fear of that, part of what brings me here in the first place.
I told my husband about this page. Coming from someone who doesn't feel the pain and misery that we do on a daily basis thinks it's a little fucked up honestly, which I get, but he told me about a year ago that if he woke up to me hanging from the closet or with my brains blasted all over my car, he would be all but surprised. He's the most wonderful man in the whole wide world and while I'll miss him dearly, he deserves a woman who can love him and our kids in a way that I can never offer him.
Sorry for the rambling, just wanted to get my thoughts out here for whoever wants to or cares to read them. This whole process makes me feel sad, but oddly at peace, knowing the pain can be gone soon.
Now, if only I knew what happened to me when I die...
I'm not gonna lie, killing myself sort of scares the shit out of me. I feel like the absolute devil for leaving my husband and two kids, but they don't understand, nor will they ever.
I haven't decided on a method yet, I'm still to new here to know for sure, so if anyone has any good suggestions, I'm all ears. The only caveat is that it cannot involve the possibility that I will puke. I know it seems a little odd, but I have a crippling fear of that, part of what brings me here in the first place.
I told my husband about this page. Coming from someone who doesn't feel the pain and misery that we do on a daily basis thinks it's a little fucked up honestly, which I get, but he told me about a year ago that if he woke up to me hanging from the closet or with my brains blasted all over my car, he would be all but surprised. He's the most wonderful man in the whole wide world and while I'll miss him dearly, he deserves a woman who can love him and our kids in a way that I can never offer him.
Sorry for the rambling, just wanted to get my thoughts out here for whoever wants to or cares to read them. This whole process makes me feel sad, but oddly at peace, knowing the pain can be gone soon.
Now, if only I knew what happened to me when I die...
