Discussion "Rational" Suicide? I feel numb when I think about CTB.

[Ernest1964]

I am not emotional about this thought. I ask myself, "Is this world a better place than when I arrived?" The answer is a resounding YES!. I then ask myself as a teacher will continuing to live REALLY make that much of a difference in the world? Of course there is no way of truly knowing this. I just feel emotionally at the end, like my desire to continue on is stunted. I am Diabetic but I do not have any other major health concerns. I'm just tired of living. I am clinically depressed and have been on antidepressants for 20+ years, I'm 58 years old and I'm just tired and I just don't want to go on.
QUESTION: Is it ok for someone to want to CTB absent a terminal illness?

- E

 

[Huntfish34]

Imo..... yes, everybody has their own pain / hardship..... whether it be from illness, depression, or what have you .

 

[Forever Sleep]

Hello and welcome to the forum. I'm glad that you found your job fulfilling and that you helped so many people. I think that's the best any of us can hope to achieve- leaving the world a better place than when we arrived.

Of course- the choice to leave and when has to be entirely yours. Personally, I'm all for autonomy. I think we should most definitely consider the impact we will likely make by leaving early but I don't think anyone should feel obliged to continue in a life they find unliveable.

What that entails is different for different people. Obviously, there are people suffering with awful illnesses. I think anyone ought to sympathise with them. Still- life can become unbearable for all sorts of reasons and sometimes we just don't have the resources or will to change things.

Personally, I think- so long as someone has thought deeply about their situation and options- we shouldn't be invalidating anyone's reasons for being here and considering ending their lives.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I think by your age especially you're more than entitled to want out.

It sounds like you need to feel that you're actively contributing to the world to feel motivated to continue to live. That's very understandable but that's not necessarily to be entitled to life (though that doesn't sound like the emotional issue at hand, but I still wanted to mention that). It sounds like maybe zooming in your lens might be helpful. The Talmud (Jewish scripture) has a saying "to save a life is to save the world. Most of us won't effect change on a global, history-defining scale but that doesn't mean any change effected on a smaller scale isn't valuable. The thing about positive actions Is that they tend to ripple out. The initial locus may be limited but like as it spreads your area of impact can grow quite large.

 

[enviro400mmc]

It sounds like you are an incredibly admirable person who can be proud of your life regardless of how long you plan on continuing it. Of course I think the answer is yes but then again you've come to a forum for people who think the answer is yes.

It's like going to an NRA meeting and ask if it's ok to own a gun

 

[FuneralCry]

When to exit this world is completely a personal decision. The reality is that the decision to voluntarily exit never has to be justified with reasons, as life itself is something completely worthless in the first place. Death is the most normal and expected thing ever after all, and it's what we are all destined for. I just see suicide as being the refusal to delay our inevitable fate, by voluntarily leaving this world all that we are doing is just preventing unnecessary years spent here. Anyone who believes that suicide is wrong under any circumstances is thinking irrationally as there are no disadvantages to being dead. Wishing for suicide is certainly the most rational thing to me.

 

[outrider567]

I am not emotional about this thought. I ask myself, "Is this world a better place than when I arrived?" The answer is a resounding YES!. I then ask myself as a teacher will continuing to live REALLY make that much of a difference in the world? Of course there is no way of truly knowing this. I just feel emotionally at the end, like my desire to continue on is stunted. I am Diabetic but I do not have any other major health concerns. I'm just tired of living. I am clinically depressed and have been on antidepressants for 20+ years, I'm 58 years old and I'm just tired and I just don't want to go on.
QUESTION: Is it ok for someone to want to CTB absent a terminal illness?

- E

Without a terminal illness? That's most of us here!

I am not emotional about this thought. I ask myself, "Is this world a better place than when I arrived?" The answer is a resounding YES!. I then ask myself as a teacher will continuing to live REALLY make that much of a difference in the world? Of course there is no way of truly knowing this. I just feel emotionally at the end, like my desire to continue on is stunted. I am Diabetic but I do not have any other major health concerns. I'm just tired of living. I am clinically depressed and have been on antidepressants for 20+ years, I'm 58 years old and I'm just tired and I just don't want to go on.
QUESTION: Is it ok for someone to want to CTB absent a terminal illness?

- E

In my case, my life partner girlfriend of 35 years died a year ago, still think of her each minute of the day,and still realize my life since then has been just an empty shell of what it once was

 

[Wannagonow]

Without a terminal illness? That's most of us here!

In my case, my life partner girlfriend of 35 years died a year ago, still think of her each minute of the day,and still realize my life since then has been just an empty shell of what it once was

Sorry for the loss of your long time girlfriend. My wife of 16 years passed away unexpectedly in 2018. I mention this only because I'm able to understand what you're going thru. Losing literally your "other half" is hard. For me it's made more difficult having had mental health issues to begin with. I hope you'll begin to find snippets of peace within your memories.

 

[Ernest1964]

Without a terminal illness? That's most of us here!

In my case, my life partner girlfriend of 35 years died a year ago, still think of her each minute of the day,and still realize my life since then has been just an empty shell of what it once was

I guess my question would be, "If your life is now, 'just an empty shell of what it once was." Do you believe that it will never ever again be more than it is now? If the answer is no, I believe that my life will never be as good as it is now, then I think you are justified in CTB.

 

[outrider567]

I guess my question would be, "If your life is now, 'just an empty shell of what it once was." Do you believe that it will never ever again be more than it is now? If the answer is no, I believe that my life will never be as good as it is now, then I think you are justified in CTB.

I don't see my life getting better no matter how far I see into the future--The longer she's gone the more I miss her

 

[Ernest1964]

I don't see my life getting better no matter how far I see into the future--The longer she's gone the more I miss her

Outrider567... is that rational? or is that emotional? Does a rational suicide natural negate the emotional side of the decision making process? I'm not making a judgement, I'm just asking a question. When I think about CTB and when I think about planning my eventual demise... I feel empty, numb... unemotional. Maybe THAT is not a good thing?

 

[CTB Dream]

Welcom forum , any say reason ok ctb understand self see how very possible age reason not only illne ,there many reason one say ctb b

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

My only reason to CTB is that I lack the $ to live the way I want to and anything less is mere survival.

Wish my parents had offered a little guidance 50 years ago - I had every opportunity available but was given no idea how the world works - was never taught how to compete and win. Would have done ok with a life of leisure. But lack the will to fight.

Now no motivation to live OR die. It's been 1.5 years of debilitating depression with no end in sight. A lifetime of failures before that. Now it feels like nothing inside - testosterone and seratonin at zero. No feelings.

Life is fabulous but I can't afford to participate. Savoring only sleep.

 

[outrider567]

Outrider567... is that rational? or is that emotional? Does a rational suicide natural negate the emotional side of the decision making process? I'm not making a judgement, I'm just asking a question. When I think about CTB and when I think about planning my eventual demise... I feel empty, numb... unemotional. Maybe THAT is not a good thing?

Its both rational and emotional, and I certainly feel empty