Rant.

[Lifeless mindset]

I'm so fucking angry right now and I don't know why. I feel like I could just explode into a million pieces. I absolutely fucking hate how I'm stuck in this grey area where I can't decide whether to accept my suffering and live or just kill myself. There's so much shit that I want and feeling like I can't obtain those things just makes me want to destroy the whole fucking universe. I have so much anger and sadness built up in me and I know it's starting to get to the point where I could explode at any moment. I love people so much but I fucking hate them with a burning passion at the same time. I feel like im starting to go crazy. I fucking hate feeling my fat body press against my bed right now. I fucking hate how imperfect I am. I fucking hate the voice in my head that reads along as I type this stupid ass post. I fucking hate the stupid fucks who call me a "pro lifer" for speaking good about this world. Fuck you. As long as your choices don't harm others i support whatever you do that will make you happy. If you want to live go ahead. If you want to die then go right the fuck ahead. That should be your right! I fucking hate how I feel like I'm not good enough for my girlfriend. I fucking hate the fact that i use the word fuck so much because there's no other word in existence to describe just how fucking pissed off I am at myself and the world. I hate how ungrateful I am. I'm such a piece of shit and I don't deserve to continue on in this world. NOTHING is perfect and if nothing is perfect then that means even death isn't perfect but I really don't give a fuck. Why don't I give a fuck? Because humans are selfish pieces of shits and only want what will benefit themselves.Take that how you want to. I'm so tired of existing. I feel like all of this is just one big sick joke. I hope death is better than this place.

 

[jodes2]

Yeah I know how you feel. I got called a pro lifer just for trying to help. And my gf is pissing me off, she's pissed off with me for having SN in the shed, as if it's illegal or something. She doesn't seem to care why* I bought it. Maybe I should just fucking use it. She won't let me buy anything off the dark net either, as if it would affect her in any way. But it would certainly make me happier. She says I'm selfish but she's being just as selfish. You're right. People are selfish. Fuck the world. People want to take away anything that gives an ounce of security or satisfaction. People don't care. They're just stuck on autopilot. Fed up of this shit.

 

[yyytry]

Man. The line about if nothing is perfect, then death probably won't be perfect either….fml

 

[Lifeless mindset]

Yeah I know how you feel. I got called a pro lifer just for trying to help. And my gf is pissing me off, she's pissed off with me for having SN in the shed, as if it's illegal or something. She doesn't seem to care why* I bought it. Maybe I should just fucking use it. She won't let me buy anything off the dark net either, as if it would affect her in any way. But it would certainly make me happier. She says I'm selfish but she's being just as selfish. You're right. People are selfish. Fuck the world. People want to take away anything that gives an ounce of security or satisfaction. People don't care. They're just stuck on autopilot. Fed up of this shit.

It caught me off guard when you said you have your SN in the shed, I have mine in my shed as well lol. It sucks that people are so selfish and I'm sorry your girlfriend doesn't see things the way you see them. My girlfriend actually asked me for some of my SN and I told her no. Ironic how the selfishness falls back on us sometimes right? I guess I got what I deserved when she told me she wouldn't CTB with me. I practically begged her and tried explaining how beautiful it could be for us to take our final breath together. She says she supports my decision but she doesn't want to be involved in the pain that my suicide would cause my family. One time she made me promise that when she killed herself that I would stay here and keep on living for her. Never again will I make such a horrible promise.

Man. The line about if nothing is perfect, then death probably won't be perfect either….fml

Assuming death is the complete opposite of living, there shouldn't be much to worry about. What comforts me the most when thinking about death is knowing that it's something everyone will go through.

 

[blackwidow]

I feel your pain... And rant away its good for the soul.. When it comes to the shouters bashing people they have absolutely no idea about calling them pro lifers just rise above them, each to their own I say, they say the same shit over n over again to anyone that dares to show any compassion to anyone here.. Fuk um I say, it's their right to say what they want just ignore it. Wer all drowning in the same shit here, some worse than others, so go easy on your self Hay.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I hate feeling angry too. It just eats you up inside. I know it won't be a popular suggestion. It's even sort of pro life and cliche in a way but can you exercise anywhere? To the point of exhaustion? Get some of that anger out physically? Sometimes it helps me. Just an outlet for it. I know it's likely the last thing you want to do. Still- it's sometimes the things we kind of need aren't what we want at all.

I'm sorry about your girlfriend. That's got to be complicated.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really is such a curse having the ability to be conscious and aware of this cruel, horrific world and it must be so tiring being trapped in that situation. It definitely can be so awful having to continue to endure an existence that you hate which just causes you to suffer. I certainly do believe that death will be much better than this in every single way as of course I believe that we just simply cease to exist once we die. The thought of being free from this world is so incredibly comforting for me as it's freedom from all of the problems and suffering that this existence brings. It's tragic how this life can potentially torture us in so many ways.

 

[Jarni]

Yeah I know how you feel. I got called a pro lifer just for trying to help. And my gf is pissing me off, she's pissed off with me for having SN in the shed, as if it's illegal or something. She doesn't seem to care why* I bought it. Maybe I should just fucking use it. She won't let me buy anything off the dark net either, as if it would affect her in any way. But it would certainly make me happier. She says I'm selfish but she's being just as selfish. You're right. People are selfish. Fuck the world. People want to take away anything that gives an ounce of security or satisfaction. People don't care. They're just stuck on autopilot. Fed up of this shit.

Wisdom, high emotional IQ and erudition are very rare qualities unfortunately. And it causes lots of problems.
That does not mean people are not good, but it is a problem.
(it is not simple....)