Venting Random trimestrial thoughts 🥷

[simonttt]

I don't think I am clinically depressed yet I am constantly grieving for myself. 1 year of therapy and i've come to the conclusion I lied to myself for years and hate every aspect of my life beside friends and family, i owe them to be alive and in the same time i only wish they would stop caring about me so i could be free. When my sister says "I adore you", I feel like a killer yet to be discovered. I think about my father and killing me would kill him, so I do nothing and just get lost into work. No time to think, just something to do, then something done. I give that money to random people so at least there is a sort of meaning to that, but I can't forget it's a bullshit life. I hope someday it will be too much and i will think about myself for once