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Young.Werther

Student
Apr 11, 2023
124
It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.

-Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities
This is the quote from the end of Tale of Two Cities. I don't know if anyone cares that I spoil the story but I put it in spoilers anyways.
It refers to Sydney Carton, who is massively in love with the protagonist, Lucie. She is happily engaged to Charles, who is set to be guillotined. So Sydney (who looks exactly like Charles) goes and takes his place at the guillotine.
In doing so, he buys Lucie's happiness with his life. It's so wonderful. And the thing is, she promptly forgets that he ever existed and just enjoys her happiness.

I don't know that I could buy anyone's happiness. I don't know what sacrifice I could make to do that. It's a nice story though. I do hope when I go people will forget and just go on being happy. I can't believe that anyone really cares. I mean, they always say they're upset or something, but it doesn't seem to show in their actions. I'm here now sitting alone in the dark on a Friday night. I don't ask that they care either. I'm happy to leave, but they won't let me.

I know there are some pro-lifers here (although I doubt any of you will answer me), but why do you care so much that I stay? You dont seem to care about me until I start heading for the exits. Why is it so bad that I leave? Nobody would notice if you didn't make such a commotion. Besides, it would be so nice to find some peace at last. I could find a nice rest, just like Sydney. And I'm an organ donor, so maybe someone who really wants to live will be able to once I'm gone.

I mean think about all the people that I won't hurt, the harm I won't cause, the happiness I won't dampen because I'd be gone. It could be so beautiful. I don't want to hurt anyone.

You'll say it's selfish, that I will hurt people with grief. Maybe, but maybe it would be worse if I stayed. These people wouldn't remember me in a few years either way, so why does it matter? I also can't believe that they would really be that hurt. You don't really care. And I'm so tired. I want to rest, and it would be so nice to rest at last.
 

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