Rambling

[Baka]

I've gotten to the point of my life where I lack concern towards everything to do with me. Everything is just "fine." I used to have so much anger, so much sadness. Now it's hard to feel anything intensely. I know getting sexually assaulted by my sister and other family members probably is what made me dislike touch so much. I feel physically sick. But it's fine. I've forgiven her for it, even if she never explicitly apologized. Shes the one who cares for me the most at this moment. I desire care, but it seems hard to obtain without offering something personal of myself. I wish I had a friend. I feel alone and want to talk to someone. Everything is such a blur. I keep wishing to be taken away, but by who? Where to? I want to escape

 

[ctb_warrior]

I've gotten to the point of my life where I lack concern towards everything to do with me. Everything is just "fine." I used to have so much anger, so much sadness. Now it's hard to feel anything intensely. I know getting sexually assaulted by my sister and other family members probably is what made me dislike touch so much. I feel physically sick. But it's fine. I've forgiven her for it, even if she never explicitly apologized. Shes the one who cares for me the most at this moment. I desire care, but it seems hard to obtain without offering something personal of myself. I wish I had a friend. I feel alone and want to talk to someone. Everything is such a blur. I keep wishing to be taken away, but by who? Where to? I want to escape

Baka , we are here for you here to listen to you. You are not alone. You can literally talk about anything and everything that you feel like. If you wanna pm, feel free to.
When I was in UK, i too wanted someone to save me. To pull me out. I decided to go back to India and I felt better back at home. After 5-6 months, i again got sick.