I've got what I need (12 gauge shotgun w/slugs) and a place picked where they or my wife won't be the ones to find me but I'm not sure how to tell them why or if I should tell them. They are 16 and 18. Worries about how they will take it are pretty much the only reason I don't just ctb tonight. Any and all input appreciated!
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motel rooms
Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
- Apr 13, 2021
- 7,081
You should definitely tell them it's not their fault
Yeah, that's important. I think they're old enough to understand.
motel rooms
Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
- Apr 13, 2021
- 7,081
inthemoonblue
Member
- Nov 26, 2020
- 84
I'm so sorry life has brought you to this point. If I'm understanding correctly, are you debating if you should leave a note or not? Notes can certainly leave a lot of frustration and unanswered questions, but personally, I can't even imagine the devastation of being left with absolutely nothing at all from someone I loved. I wish you peace, whatever your final decision may be.
intelatedtojimmi
Member
- Mar 26, 2021
- 8
I wish I could take your pain away. And save you. Safe travels 
Thank you. I am looking forward to the journey now. I just need to make it easy for those I'm leaving behind.I wish I could take your pain away. And save you. Safe travels
Yeah, it's really about what to say, and how much. I love my kids more than words can express (my wife too, but she will be fine). Nonetheless, going on here is really no longer an option, and I just want to make my absence easy on those I love.
Just embarrassed by what my life has become, and suffering from depression that meds and therapy haven't fixed.
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motel rooms
Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
- Apr 13, 2021
- 7,081
Are your kids aware that you've tried therapy & meds? I assume your wife is
I was also going to try a shotgun to blow my head off, but then I saw many, many videos and stories of people who survived this method, while ending up horribly disfigured... I just know I'd fuck up this method...
I agree with the global family members and tell them. I live in Minnesota, right across the border from you. The Vikings and Twins ring a bell? I have had 2 attempts, I am 65 years young, and I used to feel and think embarrassed and also what people thought of me and my situation. Then I got gall bladder cancer and a year later I was driving down a road going south and a young lad was coming east and he blew through the stop sign and I t- boned him. Now I have 24/7 chronic pain from the car crash. I mentioned these 2 things because now after those life and death brushes, I could care less what anyone thinks. Also I and YOU both have our global family here to help with love, caring, kindness, empathy and SUPPORT. I give you all the peace and love in this world and beyond, and if you have any doubts on your nuclear option, it is not going anywhere. I send you, yes a Gopher fan!! all my love, empathy, understanding, kindness and SUPPORT. Walter
Bullit
Mage
- May 6, 2021
- 504
Caution,this may be offensive to some: Me, I am alone,the few people that I loved are dead,I'm not young anymore, (bitches really used to dig me,lol )and I am trying to accept ctb. That's one thing.
But you have a wife and kids,you have a reason to live. I hope you think about this carefully. I get that you're suffering a lot! We feel for you. Do what you must,I can't judge you. I wish you wisdom and peace!!
But you have a wife and kids,you have a reason to live. I hope you think about this carefully. I get that you're suffering a lot! We feel for you. Do what you must,I can't judge you. I wish you wisdom and peace!!
Yeah they know I've tried therapy and meds, but they think they have helped. I don't think they have any idea that I'm about to die though.
motel rooms
Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
- Apr 13, 2021
- 7,081
I know this is prying, so you don't have to answer, but how long have you been severely depressed? Are you dealing with some sort of trauma that your wife doesn't know about?
The severe depression has been about two months, but I've dealt with less severe depression for decades. Truthfully I've had a pretty good life all things considered, but it's time to go. Definitely going to ctb, just want to make it easy for my wife and kids after I'm gone.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,825
I think suicide is a pain cycle, unfortunately to end our pain, it passes it on to someone else. I think I would personally write a note saying 'theres nothing you could have done' and now 'you are at peace', things like that could give them some closure. There probably isn't much that can help them really. It must be a hard position to be in, but nobody should have to live a life filled with suffering. I wish you the best.
Shadowrider
Student
- Jan 26, 2021
- 184
Good to see that you feel responsible and worried about your children's possible reaction! Also, good to see you don't want to get them - or your wife - traumatized by finding you.
I am concerned, especially because your kids are in a really sensitive age. Teenagers can be extremely insecure - even if there is nothing tragical happening in their family -, and your catching the bus when they are in this age might make them scarred for life. (Okay, it's true: a parent's death by suicide will make anyone scarred for life, no matter what age they were.)
If you are really, really sure that you haven't got any other options than CTB, then it's absolutely recommended that you tell them what led to you making this very decision.
You don't seem to be a selfish person. I really like how you care, even now when you are planning to do it.
If your family thinks therapy did work, they might experience a shock and/or trauma when they learn you are gone. Haven't you considered talking to your wife about the matter? Or, giving some hints at least?
flower
on the moon
- Feb 23, 2020
- 320
I'm so sorry you're suffering. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to be in your position. I would definitely leave some sort of note explaining your reasons as best as possible, and that it's not their fault/there's nothing they could have done differently. obviously it will be painful for them, but at least they won't be left with unanswered questions on top of that, and can hopefully heal more easily. 
Thank you for understanding. I actually feel happy (!) knowing that I will die this week
SheJumped
Student
- May 14, 2019
- 143
As a parent myself, make sure the kids understand why, this is what is keeping me around.
Safe travels catching the bus, hope it's a peaceful journey.
Safe travels catching the bus, hope it's a peaceful journey.
I'm working on a letter to each of my kids and one to my wife. I think this is a good time to go as I was just able to see my son win a conference championship in track and my daughter's senior dance recital. I'll use those events as starting points for what I hope will be read as love letters from their dad after I ctb this week. I just did a practice run (drove to my planned location, practiced shotgun placement for a reliable headshot, etc) so I am ready!I'm so sorry you're suffering. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to be in your position. I would definitely leave some sort of note explaining your reasons as best as possible, and that it's not their fault/there's nothing they could have done differently. obviously it will be painful for them, but at least they won't be left with unanswered questions on top of that, and can hopefully heal more easily.
Thank you! I did a practice run this week, all set to go. Once I have finished letters to my kids and wife I will be one shotgun slug away from peace
My mum took her own life without leaving a note but she was so fucked up by that point from all the different drugs they'd pumped into her and the rounds of ECT that it was pretty obvious why she'd done it and she was in no fit state to write a note by that point.
But I would say definitely leave a note if you're sure you want out of this life.
Maybe, if you don't necessarily want to tell them in person, I'd leave a suicide note so they know it wasn't their fault and you can prevent any guilt.
But I hope you'll get better soon, but if you do insist on ctb, I hope you find your safe peace.
But I hope you'll get better soon, but if you do insist on ctb, I hope you find your safe peace.
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