Question about seizures, convulsions and memory?

[TooConscious]

I have experienced fits that have been so strong that my shoulders have dislocated and one even ripped off the socket.

My question is, does our mind disassociate from this once it's over?....

Because let's be honest someone like me who's at risk of being a complete invalid if my shoulders break again wouldn't even bother attempting to continue for a minute especially since I get no help whatsoever from scumbag doctors or disability. Arthritis and osteoporosis all through my 20's.

But I don't remember these things that have wreaked havoc with my physical and emotional health. But every now and then I get what feels like a memory, a very brief 'flashback episode' of my muscles contracting and me trying to fight them to stay in position.....
And I wonder if this is memory of what a seizure feels like, or is it something horrible and randm my minds created in its infinite capacity to add suffering on to an already tortured soul. God it's a shit deal to be human

 

[Smart No More]

It could be an aquired memory from imagining what happens during those times and potentially dreaming about it repeatedly until it forms as a kind of memory. People that are interigated for crimes they never many times over often confess to said crimes because a memory forms in a way that convinces them they actually experienced the crime when they were innocent all along. Its similar to the mandala effect. Not sure if you're familiar with that phenomenon but if you search it you will fins many examples that you'll find familiar. Maybe it will help gain an insight to your current predicament.

 

[TooConscious]

It could be an aquired memory from imagining what happens during those times and potentially dreaming about it repeatedly until it forms as a kind of memory. People that are interigated for crimes they never many times over often confess to said crimes because a memory forms in a way that convinces them they actually experienced the crime when they were innocent all along. Its similar to the mandala effect. Not sure if you're familiar with that phenomenon but if you search it you will fins many examples that you'll find familiar. Maybe it will help gain an insight to your current predicament.

Oh I most certainly know about the Mandela effect and to be honest dont believe it doesn't warrant notice as before I even knew what it was I remember rewatching things like Lord of the rings and saying "no fucking way"
Lol. Thanks for your thoughtful answer it's always made me sick how police will pry a confession out of somebody to get the gold star themselves rather than care who's actually guilty, why so many mentally ill are trapped in hell inside prison walls too getting bullied doing time for other people's crimes.





I wasn't to clear in my choice of words.
Is it possible to have a memory of a grand mal seizure, or is your brain supposedly overwhelmed with electrical activity to be 'conscious' ?

Also I hear some. People feel. Ecstacy before ot sfyer a seizure. Personally I didn't when I was rotting in hospital hm stinking of piss and shit, with broken bones torn ligaments having half chewed my tongue off I was unable to see the joy of life.
But since th is happens to other people o wonder if it's a reaction to ensure people don't give up after such trauma....

My question is basically, is a seizure an emotionally traumatic experience that your mind fragments?

 

[Smart No More]

My entirely laymans view is maybe. That's the short answer. Long answer is that I think it's entirely possible that you can have a memory of it fwiw but as someone that's not medically trained I can't say I know. Purely a logic based guess. There are lots of things we experience but don't remember. Sometime a smell can trigger a memory you may otherwise never have recalled. I've experienced that. In those moments you become quite aware of how possible it is to forget things but still store them. The memories can be there even though they're never pulled out of the archives. Obviously with yourself you're wondering whether you could have even formed memories during those traumatic events and that's a bit different in fairness. Logically speaking you may have observed the seizures but have no evolutionary incentive to recall such painful memories as there is no way you could potentially learn from the experience. That is to say you have no power over whether you do or don't have a seizure therefore stand to learn nothing from the painful memory so during those times it's likely your brain is prioritising other things but maybe still observing in a reserved capacity. A good example of what I'm trying to say here is if you ever had a bad headache ot toothache. You remember having had the pain but you can't really recall and refeel the pain itself. You just remember the knowledge of the existence of that pain during it. The only time you ever really connect with the memory of the pain itself is when you are feeling pain once again and can compare it to the pain you previously felt. I guess it's kind of self preservation thing as we can recall the feeling other things such as a chill down the neck or tastes we enjoyed. In your case (which is of course much more than a headache or toothache) you probably struggled to process anything during your seizures but your brain would naturally be trying to make decisions during them. Therefore on a subconscious level maybe a glitched memory formed whilst youe body and brain were essentially simultaneously trying to priorities processes and glitching out. I guess the question then would be, what is triggering the recall of these memories. I'm kind of thinking out loud a bit here so please forgive me if my train of thought is a bit messy in text. Like I say, I'm theorising based on my own logic which is quite possibly flawed as I have very little knowledge about seizures. I guess ultimately you would need to ask a neurologist or something.

 

[TooConscious]

My entirely laymans view is maybe. That's the short answer. Long answer is that I think it's entirely possible that you can have a memory of it fwiw but as someone that's not medically trained I can't say I know. Purely a logic based guess. There are lots of things we experience but don't remember. Sometime a smell can trigger a memory you may otherwise never have recalled. I've experienced that. In those moments you become quite aware of how possible it is to forget things but still store them. The memories can be there even though they're never pulled out of the archives. Obviously with yourself you're wondering whether you could have even formed memories during those traumatic events and that's a bit different in fairness. Logically speaking you may have observed the seizures but have no evolutionary incentive to recall such painful memories as there is no way you could potentially learn from the experience. That is to say you have no power over whether you do or don't have a seizure therefore stand to learn nothing from the painful memory so during those times it's likely your brain is prioritising other things but maybe still observing in a reserved capacity. A good example of what I'm trying to say here is if you ever had a bad headache ot toothache. You remember having had the pain but you can really recall and refeel the pain itself. You just remember the knowledge of the existence of that pain during it. The only time you ever really connect with the memory of the pain itself is when you are feeling pain once again and can compare it to the pain you previously felt. I guess it's kind of self preservation thing as we can recall the feeling other things such as a chill down the neck or tastes we enjoyed. In your case (which is of course much more than a headache or toothache) you probably struggled to process anything during your seizures but your brain would naturally be trying to make decisions during them. Therefore on a subconscious level maybe a glitched memory formed whilst youe body and brain were essentially simultaneously trying to priorities processes and glitching out. I guess the question then would be, what is triggering the recall of these memories. I'm kind of thinking out loud a bit here so please forgive me if my train of thought is a bit messy in text. Like I say, I theorising based on my own logic which is quite possibly flawed as I have very little knowledge about seizures. I guess ultimately you would need to ask a neurologist or something.

Your 'train of thought' is sincerely better than most doctors and has genuine compassion. I can't say I got to speak to a neurologist but the gp would never give a thoughtful response.

You hit the nail on the head, that's what I was trying to express what you say about my brain trying to make decisions.
And the toothache analogy is well fitting, where my brain knows it doesn't want to go back there how badly it hurt and the damage. But as if it doesn't want to remind you of the exact feeling at all.
Thanks for your insights.
(if anyone's had bad psychedelic substance experiences whee your minds in a battle with itself, this memory is like that with body also.)
As you say it really makes sense to me also that it's probably my brain trying to decide the basics with survival, SI ramped up, "move out the way of that car, walk this direction>>>"