PTSD and Trauma

[224]

I was sexually assulted when I was younger by my older brother and he severely abused me all my life. Now growing up I am petrified of people touching me or being too close to me. It has caused a lot of problems in friendships and past relationships. I would never tell anyone about my brother sexually asulting me only the abuse part. Everyone is so judgmental or looks towards me as a freak or some broken problem. I absolutely hate it and I hate myself for being like this but no matter what I do I can not physically or mentally be close to someone and It has made me push so many people away. I don't want to be like this anymore, but I can't stop. Has anyone had similar situations or have any advice? Much love

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I'm sorry for what happened to you. No one should have to experience being sexually abused. It certainly doesn't make you a freak. I was sexually assaulted when I was younger and although it was nothing compared to what you went through, I'm not always a huge fan of people touching me either.

Have you ever tried therapy for your ptsd?

 

[Lordsudbury]

I'm 32 and have extreme PTSD too from other things. It's an awful way to live and I haven't found any treatment that works for me....hence we are here. Feeling the pain too xx

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Yes I relate so so much. I was touched by pastors when I was younger, then sexually assaulted by a guy in highschool then my last ex. I understand how hard it is to talk about it. It's really hard to open up.and trust others again I have issues with being touched too. People victim blame way too much. About the only thing that's helped me is seeing a psychiatrist and getting some meds for anxiety and sleep. Sending you hugs.

 

[Nymph]

I understand you with the not wanting to be touched and stuff. I'm sorry that trauma happened to you. I haven't had any trauma but I also have trouble with human physical contact. I don't like kisses hugs or cuddles. I don't want to even hug my parents or friends. It's also been difficult and honestly there's not much of a solution except explaining it to the person and hoping that they understand. If they don't try to understand or even criticize you for it then it's clear that they aren't worth being friends with anyways.

 

[glitchgirl]

I know exactly how you feel. I've been sexually assaulted by a family friend and my brother. But like you I haven't told my parents about it. (The insestuous part). I am also terrified of being touched or close to anyone. I'm in my early twenties and I sadly turn down every man who wants to get to know and date me. PTSD is horrible, it has created my personality disorders and depression. There was also a moment in my life after the diagnosis when I couldn't leave the house because I was seeing his name and face everywhere. I was extremely scary. I think part of my trauma has made me constantly feel like I am still 9 and trapped in an adults body. I think that is also why I developed disordered eating, because I wanted my body to look like a child's again... it's very hard and as a survivor I'll do my best to be here for you if you ever want to talk.

 

[224]

I'm sorry for what happened to you. No one should have to experience being sexually abused. It certainly doesn't make you a freak. I was sexually assaulted when I was younger and although it was nothing compared to what you went through, I'm not always a huge fan of people touching me either.

Have you ever tried therapy for your ptsd?

I am too scared to tell anyone or my therapist. I am in therapy but I don't know if I should bring it up or not. I am just so scared.

Yes I relate so so much. I was touched by pastors when I was younger, then sexually assaulted by a guy in highschool then my last ex. I understand how hard it is to talk about it. It's really hard to open up.and trust others again I have issues with being touched too. People victim blame way too much. About the only thing that's helped me is seeing a psychiatrist and getting some meds for anxiety and sleep. Sending you hugs.

I am so so sorry for ur past. I am very proud of u for getting help, because u deserve it to yourself to get better. I started antidepressant medication. I am scared to talk about it to people and especially new relationships bc it was my brother and I feel like people would judge me so hard or be like wtf for it. What was your experience with opening up about it to people? Much love xx

I know exactly how you feel. I've been sexually assaulted by a family friend and my brother. But like you I haven't told my parents about it. (The insestuous part). I am also terrified of being touched or close to anyone. I'm in my early twenties and I sadly turn down every man who wants to get to know and date me. PTSD is horrible, it has created my personality disorders and depression. There was also a moment in my life after the diagnosis when I couldn't leave the house because I was seeing his name and face everywhere. I was extremely scary. I think part of my trauma has made me constantly feel like I am still 9 and trapped in an adults body. I think that is also why I developed disordered eating, because I wanted my body to look like a child's again... it's very hard and as a survivor I'll do my best to be here for you if you ever want to talk.

Thank u and I am so sorry u relate, that truly breaks my heart. If u ever need anything I am always here. Much love xx

 

[Deleted member 19654]

If you bring it up with your therapist, they can help you work through it. They're not there to judge you. Or there are other therapists out there who specialise in ptsd from sexual abuse.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I am too scared to tell anyone or my therapist. I am in therapy but I don't know if I should bring it up or not. I am just so scared.

I am so so sorry for ur past. I am very proud of u for getting help, because u deserve it to yourself to get better. I started antidepressant medication. I am scared to talk about it to people and especially new relationships bc it was my brother and I feel like people would judge me so hard or be like wtf for it. What was your experience with opening up about it to people? Much love xx

Thank u and I am so sorry u relate, that truly breaks my heart. If u ever need anything I am always here. Much love xx

Hi. My experience opening up with people varried depending on who it was. Far too many people victim blame and say stuff like "oh you must have caused it" "I can't believe a pastor would do that" "why didn't you *just* leave your abusive ex" (I didn't because I had no where to go but be homeless. Therapist and psychiatrist have been rather understanding and definitely agree I have cptsd. It's some old friends, teachers some family members that victim blamed. My dad being one. I'm late 20s now and sexual abuse really stuck with me and gave me severe ptsd. Sending love and hugs. I'm here for you if you need to talk.

 

[224]

If you bring it up with your therapist, they can help you work through it. They're not there to judge you. Or there are other therapists out there who specialise in ptsd from sexual abuse.

Thank u xoxo

Hi. My experience opening up with people varried depending on who it was. Far too many people victim blame and say stuff like "oh you must have caused it" "I can't believe a pastor would do that" "why didn't you *just* leave your abusive ex" (I didn't because I had no where to go but be homeless. Therapist and psychiatrist have been rather understanding and definitely agree I have cptsd. It's some old friends, teachers some family members that victim blamed. My dad being one. I'm late 20s now and sexual abuse really stuck with me and gave me severe ptsd. Sending love and hugs. I'm here for you if you need to talk.

Thank u!! I really appreciate it xoxo

 

[Jumper Geo]

I was sexually assulted when I was younger by my older brother and he severely abused me all my life. Now growing up I am petrified of people touching me or being too close to me. It has caused a lot of problems in friendships and past relationships. I would never tell anyone about my brother sexually asulting me only the abuse part. Everyone is so judgmental or looks towards me as a freak or some broken problem. I absolutely hate it and I hate myself for being like this but no matter what I do I can not physically or mentally be close to someone and It has made me push so many people away. I don't want to be like this anymore, but I can't stop. Has anyone had similar situations or have any advice? Much love

Sorry to hear these sad stories of sexually abuse it's a shame we haven't got the judges reading these stories because when they do catch these bastards they give them lenient sentences where your handed a life sentence of mental health and psychological problems, I understand why you want to CTB, I don't really know what to advise really, maybe if it happened to me I would do weight lifting knowing in my mind if anyone ever tried it again I could defend myself and build strength and confidence to fight anyone off, I would go to my doctor and talk to them, don't suffer in silence try whatever they suggest to see if it does improve your life.

I know it's not the same no where near the same but I was on Risperidone and it fucked me up with loads of side effects, I developed Erectile Dysfunction and I was trying to solve the problem myself I was slightly embarrassed going to see the doctor I told my psyche coordinator numerous times I have no energy or motivation, ED problems it accounted to sod all I have been waiting for an Anti depressant for nearly 2 years now, but I paid for a testosterone test myself and Viagra it's not cheap, I thought fuck it I've paid tax all my life I am going to get what I can out of them, I had to do an online consultation and the doctor calls you at home, the two male doctors I have known since I was a child have retired so it's only female doctors now.

I explained all my symptoms and she was great, I went to hospital for a blood test to check all my hormones levels and everything came back fine. I had a face to face appointment with her yesterday and she took my blood pressure and I explained all my problems she prescribed me AD and said they will help me sleep I said I tried Viagra and she said I will order you some so it will be available at the pharmacy tomorrow. I was embarrassed but I thought fuck it I have researched my symptoms thoroughly but the drugs I needed were illegal, or expensive.

Anyway I hope whatever you choose you can find peace.

Best wishes

Geo

 

[224]

Sorry to hear these sad stories of sexually abuse it's a shame we haven't got the judges reading these stories because when they do catch these bastards they give them lenient sentences where your handed a life sentence of mental health and psychological problems, I understand why you want to CTB, I don't really know what to advise really, maybe if it happened to me I would do weight lifting knowing in my mind if anyone ever tried it again I could defend myself and build strength and confidence to fight anyone off, I would go to my doctor and talk to them, don't suffer in silence try whatever they suggest to see if it does improve your life.

I know it's not the same no where near the same but I was on Risperidone and it fucked me up with loads of side effects, I developed Erectile Dysfunction and I was trying to solve the problem myself I was slightly embarrassed going to see the doctor I told my psyche coordinator numerous times I have no energy or motivation, ED problems it accounted to sod all I have been waiting for an Anti depressant for nearly 2 years now, but I paid for a testosterone test myself and Viagra it's not cheap, I thought fuck it I've paid tax all my life I am going to get what I can out of them, I had to do an online consultation and the doctor calls you at home, the two male doctors I have known since I was a child have retired so it's only female doctors now.

I explained all my symptoms and she was great, I went to hospital for a blood test to check all my hormones levels and everything came back fine. I had a face to face appointment with her yesterday and she took my blood pressure and I explained all my problems she prescribed me AD and said they will help me sleep I said I tried Viagra and she said I will order you some so it will be available at the pharmacy tomorrow. I was embarrassed but I thought fuck it I have researched my symptoms thoroughly but the drugs I needed were illegal, or expensive.

Anyway I hope whatever you choose you can find peace.

Best wishes

Geo

Thank u for the infor! Best of luck. xoxox

 

[muffin222]

I'm so sorry for what you had to endure. Sexual assault is just despicable. I have PTSD as well due to the trauma I experienced as a child and then again as an adult. No one deserves to live through this, but, sadly, so many people do...I wish I had some genuinely helpful advice for you about how to not push people away, but I haven't figured that dilemma out for myself. Please know that you're not alone in this, and you're NOT a freak. PTSD is a normal reaction to an abnormally stressful situation. Please be gentle with yourself

 

[K-O]

hi mates
i too have complex ptsd and borderline pd, it started with being raped as a child and then continued with being molested by my godfather until i was a grown up.. no one knew about these things and only now im starting to try and deal\heal from all that (and those are only the sexual 'traumas'.. i was also raised by a psychotic un medicated schizophrenic mother and lost very closed lovers to suicide) of course it shaped my approach to love, relationships, trust and people in general, also my self image etc.. i couldn't be touched for months after my partner died in my arms, everything triggered me and i was a walking trauma and became agoraphobic. ive just been to rehab for three months now and the thing that helped me the most there was the one on one NLP ans SE therapy for ptsd with this amazing woman, and we didn't even get to my teenage years.. maybe you should check it out. a good kind intelligent therapist that understands what the soul needs and that you can trust can be all you need in order to start healing
take care x

 

[LMFAO FOCKERS]

@224 Your feelings and responses are VERY normal for someone that has gone through what you went through. These things are NOT your fault. You were the victim and you should not be ashamed. Their judgement upon you comes from lack of understanding. My assumption is that if they knew what happened to you they'd have more compassion for you. If they dont then its them who has the problem. It may be hard to talk about it at first however once you find a therapist you trust and start working things out with them over time you will gain a voice and confidence that hopefully will help you manage and/ or communicate your feelings and fears with close friends, family and your bf.

I'd recommend getting help sooner rather than later. Overtime, untreated PTSD can lead to more complex problems and social adjustment issues. In some cases the response you receive from others may lead you to further withdraw from others which leads to more complex issues that will take much longer to undo. This type of prolonged trauma left untreated can often lead to C-PTSD which is much more difficult to heal. Its also overlooked or goes unrecognized by most psychologists / psychiatrists.

You are worth fighting for. Give yourself a chance at having a great healthy emotional future.

 

[224]

@224 Your feelings and responses are VERY normal for someone that has gone through what you went through. These things are NOT your fault. You were the victim and you should not be ashamed. Their judgement upon you comes from lack of understanding. My assumption is that if they knew what happened to you they'd have more compassion for you. If they dont then its them who has the problem. It may be hard to talk about it at first however once you find a therapist you trust and start working things out with them over time you will gain a voice and confidence that hopefully will help you manage and/ or communicate your feelings and fears with close friends, family and your bf.

I'd recommend getting help sooner rather than later. Overtime, untreated PTSD can lead to more complex problems and social adjustment issues. In some cases the response you receive from others may lead you to further withdraw from others which leads to more complex issues that will take much longer to undo. This type of prolonged trauma left untreated can often lead to C-PTSD which is much more difficult to heal. Its also overlooked or goes unrecognized by most psychologists / psychiatrists.

You are worth fighting for. Give yourself a chance at having a great healthy emotional future.

Thank you so much!! Much love