Psychotic breakdown and relationship

[Brokenhearted84]

I'm here to share my whole story with you. I met my ex-fiancée 6 years ago, but I didn't take her very seriously back then. We hanged out 6 months and then I broke up with her. An year later, we got back together because somehow I couldn't forget her, and we started something serious. But I proposed an open relationship, and she accepted. She was very sweet and supportive with me, and she gave me the best sex of my life. But sometimes I gave more attention to other girls than her. We were living together and we closed our relationship when things got out of control, but then we had a big fight, and she took her things and left me. But somehow we managed to stay friends and we weren't jealous about each other's affairs. Then, an year later I wrote her a letter about how I changed, and how I figured out that she was the love of my life. She got back to me, I proposed her in the first week, and we were happier than we ever were. We moved to a bigger appartment, I was doing great at work, but it only lasted 5 months, because it happened. Due to a lot of stress at work, I had a psychotic breakdown, and I started suspecting of everyone. I searched for wires in the new apartment, I started to think that my fiancée got back together with me to get revenge about all the things I did to her back then, I thought that my colleages were planning me to get fired. So, a psychiatrist prescribed Olanzapine to treat me. In the next months, I got erectile dysfunction, and loss of libido. I got fat, became cold to her and numb. My cognition (I used to be very intelligent) and memory also became problematic. My parents started to have finance difficulties, so I started to help them with money. I was always worried about getting fired, thinking about the future, and the money for both of us. She then called a couple therapist because she wasn't happy, but I didn't even manage to understand what the therapist said because my thinking was slow. My ex-fiancée so started to fall in love with a coworker, and fall out of love with me. I was really depressed, in a fragile state, I became very dependent on her to do everything at home. So, after 6 months without sex, she started to get jealous of me talking to my friends (I was feeling really lonely in the pandemics), so we had a big fight, and later she told me she called her coworker crying about the fight. Then, 3 months later, she broke up with me. I tried to get back together with her with many ways possible. I couldn't concentrate at work anymore. But then she started to date the coworker and got in a serious relationship. She then told me she got so wet having sex with him the first time that they had to exchange the sheets, and started make fun of my erectile dysfunction and how I was bad in bed. She also said that she was happier than she ever were with me, and that I was abusive and toxic. The next day, I joined SS. I'm thinking that my ED is permanent, and I'll never find love again. I just ruined my chances with a girl that I loved because I didn't take her seriously from the start and because of my later condition. It hurts so much to see any photo of our happy days, and I can't forgive myself dealing with the guilty. I believe that the only thing that kept me alive until now was my mother and a slightly chance that we can reunite in the future (even if it seems impossible).

 

[noname223]

Most neuroleptics make ED. Have you ever tried Abilify? This does not make ED. It is not permanent if you stop taking it. However most people need to take neuroleptics forever. Otherwise you get another psychosis.
I am sad that happened to you.
Many people say Quetiapin does not make ED. I think Olanzapine is torture. It makes so fat...You might should talk with your therapist.

 

[Brokenhearted84]

Most neuroleptics make ED. Have you ever tried Abilify? This does not make ED. It is not permanent if you stop taking it. However most people need to take neuroleptics forever. Otherwise you get another psychosis.
I am sad that happened to you.
Many people say Quetiapin does not make ED. I think Olanzapine is torture. It makes so fat...You might should talk with your therapist.

I regret so much taking Olanzapine. The two psychiatrists that I went back then didn't advised me about the collateral effects.
Now I lost the love of my life, and there's nothing I can do to recover her.

 

[Brokenhearted84]

I'm about to lose my job also... I can't stand everything falling apart.